Power Rankings: Phillies get richer at deadline

With two months remaining in the regular season, the race for power supremacy appears to have narrowed to four entities: Phillies, Red Sox, Yankees and some mysterious lady pit boss named Molly.

Me? My money's on Molly.

The rankings (records are through Wednesday's games):

Philadelphia
Philadelphia

1.Philadelphia Phillies (71-39; Previous: 1) – Stuff Ed Wade has forwarded to Phillies: Lidge, Oswalt, Pence, ring size.


Boston
Boston

2.Boston Red Sox (68-41; Previous: 2) – Theo nearly gets Harden at deadline, takes it as bad omen when X-ray technician retches.


New York
New York

3.New York Yankees (67-42; Previous: 3) – Jeter documentary goes behind the scenes with Yankee captain, discovers bound, gagged and somewhat malnourished Luis Sojo in laundry bin.


Milwaukee
Milwaukee

4.Milwaukee Brewers (62-50; Previous: 8) – Brewers fans tell La Russa they hope he gets shingles. Apparently the aluminum siding just isn't doing it for them.


Atlanta
Atlanta

5.Atlanta Braves (64-48; Previous: 4) – Braves beat Pirates on alleged "ole tag," which in the umpires manual can be found somewhere between the "three-ball walk" and "long-distance rabbit-eared ejection."


San Francisco
San Francisco

6.San Francisco Giants (62-49; Previous: 5) – Zito goes to DL with reccurring ligament strain. There's no real explanation but thinks that with last start in Cincy, may have shot himself in foot.


Texas
Texas

7.Texas Rangers (61-50; Previous: 6) – Elias confirms Hamilton has second-worst daytime average, just ahead of Susan Lucci.


Los Angeles
Los Angeles

8.Los Angeles Angels (60-51; Previous: 9) – Aybar says, given another chance, he'd bunt again. Weaver says he'd throw pitch at Avila again. Guillen, however, reconsiders, says he'd maybe throw in a brief interpretive dance.


Arizona
Arizona

9.Arizona Diamondbacks (61-50; Previous: 13) – D'backs say road to playoffs goes through San Francisco, really hoping bus can get down Lombard Street.


Detroit
Detroit

10.Detroit Tigers (59-51; Previous: 12) – Guillen pimps HR off Weaver so hard he arrives at home plate wearing a big fuzzy hat and driving a 1989 Cadillac Fleetwood.


Tampa Bay
Tampa Bay

11.Tampa Bay Rays (57-52; Previous: 7) – Friedman finds it critical at trade deadline to stay light on his feet, in final hours heroically jettisons 5 oz. appendix.


St. Louis
St. Louis

12.St. Louis Cardinals (58-53; Previous: 14) – After bean balls in Milwaukee, La Russa horse so high it had to be saddled by helicopter.


Toronto
Toronto

13.Toronto Blue Jays (56-54; Previous: 17) – Jays announce their games can now be seen on cell phones. Peripheral consequence: Their team ERA looks much smaller on that tiny screen.


Florida
Florida

14.Florida Marlins (55-55; Previous: 20) – LoMo has no issue with praying mantis – what totally creeped him out was attacking mantis.


New York
New York

15.New York Mets (55-55; Previous: 18) – Mets saving up in order to keep Reyes, plan offseason bake sales, car washes and 50-50 raffles to cover shortfall.


Cleveland
Cleveland

16.Cleveland Indians (54-54; Previous: 11) – Really, wasn't it just a matter of time before Ubaldo joined Asdrubal?


Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh

17.Pittsburgh Pirates (54-55; Previous: 10) – In best season in years, Bucs are buyers at deadline. And, yes, before they became sellers again, it was a magical 40 minutes.


Cincinnati
Cincinnati

18.Cincinnati Reds (54-57; Previous: 15) – Trade deadline leaves vapors of Joey Votto(notes)-for-Jose Bautista rumor. Either that or the river was boiling again.


Chicago
Chicago

19.Chicago White Sox (52-57; Previous: 16) – Sox adjust theme, settle for "Anybody in? Hello? Anybody?"


Washington
Washington

20.Washington Nationals (53-57; Previous: 19) – Mayan calendar does not show another start, but does say world will end in sometime in late September.


Minnesota
Minnesota

21.Minnesota Twins (51-59; Previous: 21) – GM Smith says he would not make "panic" trade at deadline. Also passes on Span-ic trade.


Colorado
Colorado

22.Colorado Rockies (51-60; Previous: 22) – Rockies so poor, management bans music in clubhouse. Players sneak off for dance in old barn outside of town.


Los Angeles
Los Angeles

23.Los Angeles Dodgers (50-60; Previous: 25) – Looming economic collapse, incensed citizens, widespread hopelessness and declining approval ratings grip nation. Or, as it's known in L.A., taking in a ballgame.


Oakland
Oakland

24. Oakland A's (49-62; Previous: 24) – Pennington's Bell's Palsy symptoms show in sleeplessness, facial numbness and irrational tendency to slide feet first into pitcher's mound.


Seattle
Seattle

25.Seattle Mariners (48-62; Previous: 23) – M's trade Bedard. Amazing how much larger the trainer's room feels.


Kansas City
Kansas City

26.Kansas City Royals (47-63; Previous: 28) – It's August, which means there are exactly two things to talk about in K.C.: if now is the time for the next big prospect (second baseman Johnny Giavotella, in this case) and how long it will take him to keel over from heat prostration.


San Diego
San Diego

27.San Diego Padres (48-64; Previous: 26) – Padres shut out for 16th time, seriously consider whether a roster with Blanks, LeBlanc and O-Dawg is too much karma to overcome.


Chicago
Chicago

28.Chicago Cubs (46-65; Previous: 29) – Cubs do little at deadline, revealing organizational strategy for coming years: Hold off the Astros.


Baltimore
Baltimore

29.Baltimore Orioles (43-64; Previous: 27) – Jake Arrieta(notes) is dealing with what O's call "fibrous mass." Incidentally, that's Mister Angelos to you.


Houston
Houston

30.Houston Astros (37-74; Previous: 30) – Braves put together insider video on acquisition of new center fielder. Working title: "Bourn Free."


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