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Here are the 2017 NBA All-Star Game uniforms, which certainly will cover bodies

Dan Devine
Senior NBA writer

The NBA and adidas unveiled the uniforms that players will wear during next month’s 2017 NBA All-Star Game in New Orleans, and, well, here they are:

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The jerseys the Eastern and Western Conference All-Stars will be wearing in New Orleans next month. (Photo courtesy of adidas)
The jerseys the Eastern and Western Conference All-Stars will be wearing in New Orleans next month. (Photo courtesy of adidas)
A closer look at the Eastern Conference All-Star jerseys and shorts. (Photo courtesy of adidas)
A closer look at the Eastern Conference All-Star jerseys and shorts. (Photo courtesy of adidas)
A closer look at the Western Conference All-Star jerseys and shorts. (Photo courtesy of adidas)
A closer look at the Western Conference All-Star jerseys and shorts. (Photo courtesy of adidas)
The warmups the Eastern and Western Conference All-Stars will be wearing in New Orleans next month. (Photo courtesy of adidas)
The warmups the Eastern and Western Conference All-Stars will be wearing in New Orleans next month. (Photo courtesy of adidas)
The full complement of gear that'll be worn by 2017 Western Conference All-Stars. (Photo courtesy of adidas)
The full complement of gear that’ll be worn by 2017 Western Conference All-Stars. (Photo courtesy of adidas)
The full complement of gear that'll be worn by 2017 Eastern Conference All-Stars. (Photo courtesy of adidas)
The full complement of gear that’ll be worn by 2017 Eastern Conference All-Stars. (Photo courtesy of adidas)

If, by chance, you’d like to see what they look like on actual human people, well, you’re in luck:

For the second straight year, the uniforms will feature on-jersey advertising in the form of Kia patches on the chest, with each conference’s All-Star logo moved to the back of the jersey on players’ necks, and their names moved down below their numbers.

According to the league and its (outgoing) apparel partner, the black and gray uniforms — oh, pardon me: “the carbon and red Western Conference, and light granite and blue Eastern Conference” kits — “incorporate aged metal treatment across the jersey font outlines and adidas logo, as a nod to the French-inspired ironwork displayed throughout the city of New Orleans.”

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With all due respect to that “nod,” though, the league has done this tip-of-the-cap better and with more flourish in its last two trips to the Big Easy for the midseason, as noted by Paul Lukas of UniWatch:

… and the more colorful, whimsical nature of those recent-past All-Star unis make the 2017 edition seem kind of drab by comparison. (One wonders if the late midstream change from Charlotte to New Orleans as this year’s All-Star venue contributed to the somewhat generic feel.) Oh, well. It’ll just have to be up to the players on the court, long-established All-Star staples and newcomers alike, to inject the excitement that their jerseys and shorts lack.

One bit of solid news, as made clear from the warmup shot: This year’s model will once again feature “accomplishment badges” that detail the number of NBA All-Star appearances for each player and celebrate the accolades players have received throughout their careers. It’s always cool to see LeBron James looking like a four-star general while someone like Giannis Antetokounmpo or Kemba Walker has, like, one little star on their chest.

So, the read here is that these seem kind of bland and not quite flashy enough to do justice to New Orleans as a venue. But then, that’s just my view; what’s yours? Let us know in the comments below, via Twitter or on Facebook.

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Dan Devine is an editor for Ball Don’t Lie on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at devine@yahoo-inc.com or follow him on Twitter!