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    Ball Don't Lie
    • Charles Barkley is on a horse. (Getty Images)

      I mean, no mask, no gun, no Tonto, no kerchief. This is just sloppy work, Charles. I expected more from a ... no, wait, I actually did not expect more at all. I didn't even expect this.

      On the plus side, that horse is one of the coolest things Barkley has ever won playing blackjack with Baltic contessas. Hi-ho, Silver.

      Best caption wins the Lone Rangers' hit 1994 single, "Degenerated," from a movie I am depressed to have watched a lot on HBO in the late '90s. Good luck.

      In our last adventure: Big bully Kevin Garnett sits on Udonis Haslem, which is almost definitely going to get him sent to Principal Stern's office.

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    • Orlando Woolridge swoops toward the basket against Detroit in 1984 (Getty Images)

      Former NBA forward Orlando Woolridge, apparently under hospice care for a heart condition in the recent months, died on Thursday. The former Bulls, Nets, Lakers, Nuggets, Pistons, Bucks and 76ers forward was 52. The Notre Dame product averaged 16 points per game in just 28 minutes a contest over his 13-year NBA career. Failing further words, we present a highlight video based around some of Orlando's more impressive plays:

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    • Kendrick Perkins wonders if Reggie Miller wants to step up (Getty Images)

      Apparently Oklahoma City Thunder center Kendrick Perkins was so incensed by the TNT broadcast trio of Marv Albert, Steve Kerr, and Reggie Miller's criticism of his Game 2 defense that he shouted incessantly at the triptych during Thursday night's Game 3 Thunder win. In what became a re-occurring theme throughout the first two quarters of the broadcast, Perkins could be seen glaring at the announcing crew in the first half of the contest, as a response for their pointing out that Perkins' Game 2 defense wasn't up to snuff because he didn't match up well with a quicker San Antonio team. An observation that Perkins, after Game 3 … agreed with? What?

      Here's the Oklahoman's Jenni Carlson on Perkins' little first half stew:

      Apparently, the Thunder big fella had heard about the less-than-complimentary things the network announcers had said about his pick-and-roll defense in these Western Conference Finals. And apparently, he didn't like it. After at least two first-half defensive stops aided by his play, Perkins stared down the broadcast crew.

      "Talk about that," he yelled.

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    • Phil Jackson instructs Scottie Pippen during the 1995-96 season (Getty Images)

      This is a strange story, but a somewhat believable one. Former Orlando Magic guard and Charlotte Bobcat coach Sam Vincent, according to Vincent, attempted to recruit Phil Jackson to take over the Magic's GM opening before Jackson pulled out on Thursday evening. And, as reported by the Orlando Sentinel's Brian Schmitz, it appears as if Jackson wanted to bring Scottie Pippen along for the ride as coach to fill in the empty seat left behind by Stan Van Gundy two weeks ago, before passing on the project altogether. Schmitz doesn't reveal Pippen by name, as the candidate Vincent named is currently working for another NBA team, but just a short bit of research reveals the former Bulls star fits all the criteria as hinted at by the Sentinel scribe, as relayed by Vincent.

      We're starting to enjoy how much Vincent goes on record. You'll recall that, earlier this year, he was sober and sound in his judgment that former Chicago teammate and Charlotte Bobcats boss Michael Jordan may have surrounded himself with too many yes-men to make up for his sometimes dodgy work ethic as personnel boss (ethic that was fine for an owner, but not for a hands-on GM, which Jordan is not anymore) as he took to running the Bobcats, comments he only slightly backed off on later. And now, in talking to Schmitz, he outlined a since-abandoned plan briefly pitched to Orlando CEO Alex Martins in the hopes that it could keep All-Star center Dwight Howard from asking for another trade, or leaving as a 2013 free agent. Here's Brian:

      "It drew some interest from Phil," Vincent said. "But in the end, Phil decided to go with another opportunity." Jackson is apparently headed back to the NBA in some capacity, but he pulled out here before Martins had a chance to run it by owner Rich DeVos. Martins learned of Jackson's exit Thursday, but would not comment.

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    • Scott Brooks comes to the realization that he has to do this all over again on Saturday (Getty Images)

      Oklahoma City Thunder 102, San Antonio Spurs 82 (Spurs lead series, 2-1)

      There is a risk that you run denigrating both sides, two proud and driven and talented squads, by pointing out that one of the teams kind of gave up on what made it great, making it easier for the other side to win. But San Antonio's lack of in-game adjustments in Game 3 allowed the Oklahoma City Thunder to force their way back into this series, taking the Spurs out of their pick and roll bread and butter (delicious), forcing bad spacing, gagging the paint when necessary, and taking advantage as the Spurs more or less let the Thunder dictate the terms of engagement.

      Which wasn't a bummer, because it was fantastic to watch the Thunder come alive in front of that home crowd. Mind you, it wasn't the finest of nights offensively for Oklahoma City, piling up 102 points and nearly doubling the Spurs up in the paint mainly because they had so many misses to run out on after the Spurs clanged away, but the team's dedication to aggressive defense was enough to make the difference, and leave you giddy for a Game 4 full of adjustments to the adjustments to the adjustments spurred on by a thunderous batch of adjustments.

      It was reminiscent of Oklahoma City's strong start to this series, a Game 1 attack that saw the team force 14 first half turnovers against a Spurs team that was coming off of a week of rest and two weeks of relatively less than stellar competition from the Utah Jazz and Los Angeles Clippers. Forcing the Spurs into far more isolation sets after picked up dribbles and initial options that went nowhere, Oklahoma City this time caused 21 turnovers in total as San Antonio more or less conceded with its starters in the third quarter, and its reserves in the fourth.

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    • Lil Wayne needs two (Getty Images)

      We wouldn't purport to know much about the musical stylings of Lil Wayne, though we did see him do some rather distasteful things to a guitar once, but we do know that you usually need "tickets" to get into an "event." And if the tickets to the event are sold out, then you can't usually attend the event. And if you're going to make a request for a possible exception to that rule — even if you're attempting to get into a game that has already been sold out for weeks — don't do it with the caveat that you will be requesting front row seats only, all other ducats be damned. Like rapper Lil Wayne did, for Thursday's Game 3 between the Oklahoma City Thunder and San Antonio Spurs. The Thunder, with no seats to spare (least of all no front row seats to spare), politely declined. From the Associated Press:

      "Thunder spokesman Dan Mahoney says Lil Wayne's representatives did contact the team requesting tickets but insisted that he sit on the front row, and none of those seats was available. Oklahoma City sold out every home game during the regular season and playoffs this season. Mahoney says: 'We'd love to have him at a game, but like anyone else, he needs a ticket.'''

      Lil Wayne, spurned and stuck in Oklahoma City, classily took to Twitter to complain about being denied what apparently was rightfully his (at the last second, with a requested vantage point better than 99 percent of the game's 18,203 attendees):

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    • Robert Parish receives his 1981 championship ring as a member of the Village People looks on (Getty Images)

      When he retired from the NBA in 1997, Robert Parish had played in 1,611 career games, a record that still stands and is likely a long time away from being broken (the current active leader, Jason Kidd, has played in 300 fewer and might be staring down retirement). He won four NBA championships along the way and, as you can see in the picture above, four NBA championship rings. Replete with bling, it appears, The Chief decided to put his 1981 ring up for auction, and apparently scored pretty well with his first championship relic, scoring over $45,000 for the piece of jewelry.

      Via Grey Flannel Auctions, here's a description of the ring (pictures after the jump):

      The top panel reads "NBA WORLD CHAMPIONS" surrounding a large .50-carat round-cut diamond that sits atop a green synthetic stone. The right panel features a banner engraved with the player name "PARISH" above a green enameled clover in relief. The clover features the team name "CELTICS" and "XIV", denoting the team's 14th championship. Adjacent below is a small engraving that reads "PRIDE". The left panel reads "1981" and features a green enameled official NBA logo in relief. Adjacent below is a small engraving bearing the word "TEAMWORK". The inside of the ring is stamped "BALFOUR 14K".

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    • J.R. Smith poses with his very small bike (via teamswish on Instagram).

      New York Knicks wing J.R. Smith is known as a real character, a super-talented player with absolutely no shooting conscience and a seeming inability to please his coaches with any consistency. He's also the kind of person who covers his body in tattoos and nevertheless spends most of his off-time playing golf and watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" reruns.

      So, you know, please understand that Smith is the kind of person who does what he wants, even if it's a spur-of-the-moment decision. Late Wednesday night, he decided to invite his fans to ride bikes with him. From his Twitter account (via Poasting and Toasting):

      How many people want to ride bikes with me at 2am instagraming pix?

      Going to take piks all over manhattan see what kind of stuff goes on in #NY at night!

      And take piks [sic] they did! Above, you can see the first, a shot of Smith in his home with a tiny little folding bike. After the jump, check out more of J.R. with his adoring fans. Sadly, his rumored paramour Rihanna did not show up.

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    • Few players have ever become so beloved while doing so little on the court as Brian Scalabrine. In his time with the Boston Celtics, Chicago Bulls and New Jersey Nets, Scal has become a fan favorite for his extreme whiteness and affable nature. The extent to which he knows what succeeds on an NBA court, however, is still up for debate.

      Since the Bulls were ousted from the playoffs in the first round, Scalabrine has served as a Celtics analyst for CSN New England. Before Wednesday's Game 2, he spoke to Rajon Rondo. If you take Scal's word for it, he gave Rondo advice that helped him have the game of his life. From CSNNE.com (via SLAM):

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    • As we've noted several times already, Game 2 between the Miami Heat and Boston Celtics was really great, with Rajon Rondo putting in a historically fantastic performance and Dwyane Wade pulling out several fantastic shots in key moments. However, the game also gave plenty of opportunity for LeBron James haters to point to his lack of clutch heroics. With two chances to hit a game-winning shot in the last 20 seconds of regulation, LeBron missed both. Video is above, if you want to see them in action.

      Despite those misses, though, it's not as if LeBron didn't do anything positive at the end of the game. While Wade took on the bulk of the scoring duties, James was instrumental in that success, setting very effective screens on numerous big possessions. Additionally, LeBron pulled out several big offensive rebounds, as well. In fact, his rebound of his own miss on the first shot in the video above was arguably one of the biggest plays of the game, giving Miami the chance to do no worse than overtime by taking the last shot of the fourth quarter. At home, and with Paul Pierce already fouled out, they had to have liked their chances in the extra period.

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