New Film Explores the Power of Community In Climbing
This article originally appeared on Climbing
Both & Neither is a new film about Mexican American climbers Natalie Connell and Ana Junker and their time climbing together in Ten Sleep, Wyoming, and El Salto, Mexico. After feeling like she didn't fit into the homogenous culture that dominates climbing, Connell nearly walked away from the sport. But her friendship with Junker helped foster a "renegotiation with climbing," melding her spiritual connection to nature with her passion for the sport.
Climbing sat down with Connell to learn about the making of the film, the intrusive (though necessary) reality of being featured in a profile, and what she hopes others will take away from Both & Neither. This interview has been edited lightly for grammar and clarity.
Climbing: Why did you decide to share your story?
Connell: I was intrigued to create a climbing film with a different angle; being part of a film that's more than just the try-hard aspect. You don't see that a lot. For better or worse, climbing is a mono culture--at least in films--so I liked pushing that edge, because there's a lot of people that don't fit into that box. Climbing is a medium to explore your inner state through an outer activity. I think a lot of people feel this but we don't talk about it a lot. It's more than just climbing up a rock. Initially I thought the story would be about overcoming fear and the connection between art and climbing, but it evolved over the two years we worked on the film.
Climbing: Tell me about your friendship with Ana.
Connell: We met two and a half years ago in Sinks Canyon. Right away there was a connection. She was warm and friendly and felt almost like family. I went to her house for dinner the next day with a mutual friend and that's when we realized that we had something special. She lives in Lander and I was in Jackson, but I would visit a lot for climbing. She quickly developed into one of my closest friends. We have a lot of similarities: we're both open hearted, give big love, like to be real, and fully show up.
Climbing: What's the connection between painting and climbing?
Connell: On climbing trips I've always said that I love my rest days as much as my climbing days. Every place you go to climb is going to be beautiful. Painting is another way to make a connection to the world around you. Specifically plein air painting and the stillness and the peacefulness that comes with it. To view something and then express it on a piece of paper is a process in which time almost stands still. I just love being in those places and connecting in multiple ways.
Climbing: What are the similarities and differences in climbing in Wyoming and in Mexico?
Connell: Well, they are both wonderful, all-time limestone climbing, but they have very different feels. Ten Sleep is a big, wide open space. It's empty and at peace. There's an expansiveness and a quietness that's palpable. You can just be because there's not a lot to distract you. For me, this feels like home. I've been in Wyoming for over a decade. El Salto also has a magical feeling to it. Enchanting, really. There's life everywhere around you. Big towering walls and beautiful colors. Animism. It looks like there are shapes and spirits coming out of the wall. You can almost see them, feel them. It's almost sacred.
Climbing: What were your expectations leading into filming?
Connell: To be fully honest, I didn't have many expectations going in. I was really grateful that Ana was willing to be a part of it with me. Our friendship is really important. I was in this interesting period of time, renegotiating my relationship with climbing. I had almost let climbing go and the film forced me to address why. For some reason the process found me at that very time and, in real time, captured my evolution.
Climbing: How has your relationship with climbing changed over the last few years?
Connell: It's never been static and it continues to morph. The biggest transformation happened while we were shooting this film. For a number of years I was learning how to dance with fear. That was the central theme in my relationship with climbing. Two years ago I started to feel that I didn't fit in and I started to get less engaged. I decided to take a break from climbing and a month later sponsors signed on. To be honest this film forced me to address things. Instead of backing out of a culture, I had to bring my full self. It was a shift to a spiritual practice. A connection with the rock: the spirit of the rock, the natural world. That felt a lot more like me. I like to feel like I'm dancing, not fighting the rock. It’s a connection and flow.
Climbing: How would you describe this new perspective on climbing?
Connell: It's the beauty of movement versus the struggle of a fight. I'm not trying to overcome something, like a more masculine way to climb. That isn't necessarily bad; it has its place. But I feel more aligned with a feminine way of climbing. I can be bucked off at the top of a climb on my last send go and still be thankful. I still enjoy the dance. Just being grateful for this partner to dance with, to feel flow.
Climbing: What were the biggest challenges of the filming process?
Connell: Honestly it flowed really well. Almost shocking how easy it was. The film crew let us do our thing and moved around us. Not many double takes or anything directed. The only challenge was letting go of thinking about who would see this and what they would think. When everything you do is being recorded, you can't just forget about it. The film kept me accountable. I had to show up the way I want to be and the way that I actually am. I learned a lot about myself through all of it, moving through feelings and shifting my relationship with climbing. It was a lot of reflection on it and helped the process along.
Climbing: What do you hope others learn or experience in the film?
Connell: Shooting this film taught me that I have the power and the right to show up to the activities in my way, even if that isn't the popular culture. Anyone is allowed to be another way. You don't have to assimilate if it doesn't feel aligned. I hope this film gives others permission to do the same. You don't have to quit. You can embrace the feminine and treat the natural world as an equal. I don't see the land around us as an inanimate thing for us to extract from. It has agency, rights, power, and intelligence. It's not something we should lord over. The land supports us in every way and I have so much gratitude for that.
You can find Connell on Instagram and check out her paintings on her website.
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