Why John-Michael Wright leaned on Oklahoma State basketball following loss of stepfather

STILLWATER — John-Michael Wright was two days into a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity when he suddenly found himself surrounded in life-changing tragedy.

On the second day of the Oklahoma State basketball team’s international exhibition trip to Spain, Wright learned his stepfather, Eddie Hightower, had unexpectedly passed away.

His father figure since he was a toddler, Wright was devastated, and before he knew it, he was leaving his team behind in Europe to return to his hometown of Fayetteville, North Carolina.

He needed to be with his family and mourn his idol, who had molded Wright into a strong young man and a gifted basketball player.

“He was like my dad. He raised me,” Wright said. “He was the guy who really helped me become the basketball player I am today.”

Wright will play his final college basketball game this week at the Big 12 Tournament in Kansas City, Missouri. Thirteenth-seeded OSU opens against No. 12 Central Florida at 11:30 a.m. Tuesday at T-Mobile Center, and short of winning the whole thing, the Pokes aren’t going to the postseason.

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How Eddie Hightower influenced John-Michael Wright

Though his time at OSU spanned two seasons after he transferred from High Point, Wright’s final year will be the one that lives longest in his memories.

When he returned to Fayetteville, OSU assistant James Barrett went with him. He stayed with the family for nearly a week to provide assistance and emotional support.

Hightower — known by most as Bishop because was an ordained international bishop over more than 400 churches — came into Wright’s life when he was 1, and was his first basketball coach at 6.

The bond grew from there.

“John would go to him with questions before would come to me for questions,” said Wright’s mother, April Hightower. “He’s been the pillar of John’s career. There was nothing John did without consulting my husband. When it came to schooling, anything in life, John would consult him.”

Two peas in a pod, she called them.

With her children together in Fayetteville after Bishop's passing, they could lean on each other through the grieving process.

“Bishop affected a lot of people in the community, so we weren’t alone,” Wright said. “I wasn’t alone, my momma wasn’t alone. It was a lot of people who were collectively sad, and I think that helped us in a way, keeping us rooted and focused on still trying to be a family and making sure the things he built didn’t get broken down.”

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Eventually the time came for Wright to return to Stillwater and rejoin his team.

“It was a much-needed healing process for all of us,” April said. “I knew what my husband would’ve told him. Get back to school, get back and finish what you started.”

When he got back to something that seemed like normal life, Wright sensed a difference.

“Like night and day,” he said. “Last year, everything was kind of a daze. I was in the moment. I was enjoying it. My family was enjoying it. Bishop was a big basketball fan. Once he died, it was like my eyes were opened. It was like, OK, it’s bigger than me now.

“I can’t just sit here and wallow in it. My little sister is still hurting. She doesn’t have a father. She needs a man to talk to, being her older brother. I gotta take care of her. I gotta check on my mom.”

Broadening his focus, life came better into view. Basketball was less about grinding and more about appreciating the grind.

“It’s allowed him to look at everything from a different perspective and to realize his next goals and steps in life,” April said. “Over the last year, he’s really been trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together. It’s the things my husband instilled in him, it’s all the long nights in the gym, the lectures, the sacrifices that were made.

“And he’s actually seeing those pieces of the puzzle to come together. I believe the last year has allowed his vision to be more clear in what direction to go next.”

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'We keep each other grounded'

OSU coach Mike Boynton has seen an increased level of appreciation for his opportunity to play college basketball — even in the difficult times.

When Wright was struggling with his shot early in the season, he made a visit to Boynton’s office.

“Coach, I’m not asking you to play me more until I play better, but I’m asking you to stick with me, because I’m gonna do better,” Wright told him.

That wisdom was drawn from lessons taught by Bishop, now being recited by another voice in Wright’s life.

April has three children. Emily is the oldest, followed by James, then John-Michael. And 9-year-old Ebony is the youngest.

James and John-Michael both played basketball for Bishop, and were taught the same principles of life. Now, when one of them faces difficulty, the other reiterates Bishop’s words.

“We keep each other grounded,” said James, who is 25, a year older than John-Michael. “Our relationship is almost more like a best-friend thing than just brothers.”

Late last October, James visited John-Michael in Stillwater to spend a few days and catch an OSU football game, and watch the basketball team’s season opener.

John-Michael hit 1 of 9 shots and missed all of his 3-point tries. He was distraught.

“He had made 25,000 3-pointers over the summer,” James said. “He was frustrated, but I was there to help him pull it together.”

So James’ visit went from a few days to a couple months as he supported his younger brother through the painful period.

“I just kept trying to preach ‘Don’t give up,’ like Bishop would have,” James said. “And he stuck through that rollercoaster.

“I’ve seen what was instilled in him continuing to play out in his life. The lessons that our step-dad instilled in him in his early years, he’s living out those teachings and those morals.”

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John-Michael Wright is 'such a good dude'

John-Michael overcame his early shooting struggles and was arguably OSU’s most consistent performer during Big 12 play. Over the last 12 games, he has shot 37.1% from 3-point range, hitting at least two in each game.

For his OSU career, he’ll finish above 34% from 3, bringing an outside shooting threat the Cowboys needed. But he brought a personality type they needed more.

“He’s such a good dude,” Boynton said. “A person you wanna be around every day. You don’t expect to struggle on the court, but … you wanna make sure you’ve got people you can lose with as much as win with. Because winning is the easy one.

“When you struggle, you gotta have people that you want to still show up and grind through it with.”

This is the third consecutive year in which an OSU player has lost a parent, and while it’s never easy, Boynton knows his role as a meaningful member of a player’s life is critical in those moments. It might not alter a win-loss record, but that doesn’t diminish the impact of a coach in his player’s life.

“It’s still the reason I coach,” Boynton said. “In five years, (John-Michael) may decide he wants to commit himself to a life with somebody else, and I hope I get a call to be a part of that with him. And he’ll have a kid at some point, and I hope that he wants me to know about it.

“There are gonna be things that happen in his life and I hope he thinks about his time here and how it impacted the way he thinks about it. So we still take a lot of pride in that being a thing we value here. It still matters to me.”

In getting through the loss of Bishop, John-Michael grew closer with Boynton and the assistant coaches, too.

“They sympathized with me and helped me a lot,” John-Michael said. “Stuff like that don’t go unnoticed with me. That’s how I know they really care about my well-being and it’s something I’ll always be grateful for.”

The end of John-Michael’s college career might bring tears. John-Michael insists he won’t cry, “unless I see my mom crying.” But the growth and maturity and perspective gained can’t be taken away, and that’s the best way he can pay tribute to Bishop.

“I knew he was a leader, but seeing those leadership skills being manifested over the last two years while being at OSU makes me a very proud mom,” April said. “I don’t want it to be over. It’s been a wonderful journey for all of us.

“Seeing it come to a beautiful end, it’s happy and I’m very proud of John, because I think the only sad moment we have is him hanging it up at the end of his collegiate career.”

OSU vs. UCF

TIPOFF: 11:30 a.m. Tuesday at T-Mobile Center in Kansas City, Mo. (ESPN+)

This article originally appeared on Oklahoman: John-Michael Wright leaned on OSU basketball after loss of stepfather