'Mental health is real': Local softball coach pleads for call to action following tragedy

There’s no playbook for dealing with mental health in sports.

There aren’t any X’s and O’s that can be drawn up out of a huddle or a time-tested strategy that can be employed to help with a student-athlete’s well-being.

On May 11, a sophomore on the North Middlesex Regional High School softball team took her own life. She would’ve turned 16 last month.

In the wake of the tragedy, North Middlesex softball coach Janice Portlock wished she could’ve done more. She felt like her hands were tied. Her team was told they couldn’t wear armbands or hold a moment of silence to honor their late player who — unknowingly to Portlock — had been struggling with mental health.

“We were told it was because of others who may be suffering from mental health issues and possible repercussions that could possibly happen. And I 100% understand that. But lately, it seems in society today, we only concentrate on the single percentage,” Portlock wrote in an email. “What about all the others we can possibly save? What about them? They need the resources to be able to reach out (to) or the high schools need to set up protocols for these kids in crisis.

“If we can save even just one person isn’t that better than none?”

Following the death of one of its students, the North Middlesex School District called in the Northeastern Massachusetts Law Enforcement Council School Threat Assessment and Response System (NEMLEC STARS) team. The nonprofit organization, which assists school districts and their communities during critical incidents, brought in counselors and therapy dogs to help cope with the situation.

“We were following their direction because that’s what they do: They deal with school emergencies,” North Middlesex Superintendent Brad Morgan said. “That’s why schools utilize the STARS team, and everything is done just based on best practice, and things like wearing armbands and things like that are things that you’re highly advised not to do ... often times out of respect for the family and out of respect for the situation and just based on past practice of situations that have occurred elsewhere in Massachusetts.”

The family of the North Middlesex sophomore did not respond to messages left on social media.

Coping with a tragedy

A day after devastating news made its way around North Middlesex, the high school softball team met with the STARS team provided by the North Middlesex school district to help student-athletes process the tragedy.

Three days later, Portlock felt like her team had been left to grieve the loss of their teammate on their own.

“Everyone was expected to just go back to normal like nothing ever happened. We weren’t allowed to mention her name or pay any type of tribute to her ... absolutely nothing!” Portlock wrote. “I was expected to put my team on a bus to play an away game that Monday and thank goodness I refused because my team was still reeling and very emotional.

“We weren’t even sure what direction we wanted to go in for the rest of the season.”

Following a lengthy meeting that day, the North Middlesex softball team held a vote on whether it would finish out the regular season. The Patriots were at a standstill. When Portlock showed up to the field the next day for a game against Nashoba, she was prepared to play with just eight kids.

“I didn’t do a lineup or anything,” Portlock said. “I was down on the field that Tuesday, and they all came. Every single one of them showed up.”

Through the first few innings, Nashoba held North Middlesex hitless until the Patriots finally broke through with a base knock in the fourth.

“I started to break down into tears,” Portlock said. “I said (to the Nashoba coach), ‘I just wanted them to get a hit.’”

Following a timeout, Nashoba’s coach told Portlock to have her runner steal third base.

“So I gave her the steal sign, the catcher overthrew third and we scored. So that was on them,” Portlock said. “That was just so nice.”

Through the rest of the regular season, Portlock and the Patriots received an outpouring of support from the local softball community. Teams across the state ― even in Maine — reached out and wore purple ribbons and purple eye black to show support for suicide awareness. Parents of North Middlesex players provided No. 3 stickers to put on their helmets, the number that belonged to their fallen player.

“It got us through,” Portlock said. “It got us through.”

Still, Portlock was disappointed her team couldn’t publicly honor their fallen player. She also wishes there were more resources available to her team to help with the coping process — and for mental health awareness.

“My hope is that the administration at North Middlesex, other school systems and even the MIAA can take this horrible tragedy and learn from it and do so much better for other coaches, students and families,” Portlock said. “Mental health is real and not only for these young people, but all people need a safe zone if they’re struggling.”

“We just obviously wanted to make sure that we weren’t going to do something that made the situation worse for the family, worse for the students in the building, but also just keeping in mind we have the entire student body, staff and families in the district we have to think of as well while trying to keep in mind the privacy of the family,” Morgan, the North Middlesex superintendent said. “That’s pretty much all I can say. I can’t say the families in the district were thrilled with the way that we handled it. Many felt as though (certain things) should’ve been done, but they weren’t because, again, we were following the recommendation of the STARS team.”

Shining a light on mental health awareness

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, the U.S. had one death by suicide every 11 minutes in 2020. Suicide is a leading cause of death for people between the ages of 10-34.

Dara Smolkin-Boatright, a volleyball and track athlete at Notre Dame Academy in Worcester, is a student-athlete ambassador with the MIAA. Smolkin-Boatright recently wrote a grant which resulted in Notre Dame Academy being awarded a financial opportunity to start an Active Minds chapter in support of mental health awareness.

Over the past year, the Notre Dame Academy sophomore has taken steps to end the stigma of talking about mental health when it comes to high school sports.

“Everyone has mental health and everyone deserves to feel like they can get help and that they’re not alone,” Smolkin-Boatright, 16, said. “I think it’s important to acknowledge that mental health is just as important as physical health.”

At Shrewsbury High, senior Alexa Johnson spoke about her struggles as a student-athlete at parent/athlete night March 24. Johnson shared a brochure that laid out the signs and symptoms of mental health issues while also providing advice for parents, prevention and coping skills and services for counseling and advice.

And at North Middlesex, Morgan mentioned that his district also has hosted a mental health awareness night the past two years when the school brought in a clinical psychologist from outside the district to speak to parents about mental health issues and anxiety.

“If we could get more families to come in and listen to those types of things, it would be helpful,” Morgan said. “I do think mental health awareness should be really one of the paramount things we should be looking at, especially after COVID.”

The MIAA, meanwhile, has several resources on its website in regards to mental wellness and bullying and hazing.

While the barriers of raising awareness are slowly being broached, Portlock feels like more can be done when it comes to mental health in high school sports.

“(She) was a human being. But because of the way she died, it feels like it’s being pushed under the rug," Portlock said of her former player. “And that’s a disrespectful, hurtful and unbearable feeling to deal with. She was just a child at heart … a smart, beautiful, kind, funny young lady who unbeknownst to me and to many, was hurting inside and felt like she couldn’t talk to anyone. So now we can only try to help others who may be feeling something similar.”

If you or somebody you know are struggling with mental health, visit www.samhsa.gov/find-help/988.

— Contact Tommy Cassell at tcassell@telegram.com. Follow him on Twitter @tommycassell44. 

This article originally appeared on Telegram & Gazette: Local softball coach shines light on mental health issues in HS sports