What happens when a bunch of media members hoop it up? It gets messy — and ridiculously fun
“Basketball isn’t just a sport,” the great Steph Curry once quipped. “It is an art, one that must be mastered to succeed.”
If basketball is indeed an art form, it was tainted, tarnished and blasphemed beyond repair Monday at the Marriott Center. The whole building ought to be fumigated. James Naismith would be horrified at what his precious sport became.
Of course, there’s no one else to blame but the media. It’s all their fault. They were the ones to crash and burn on the court, after all.
Wait, what?
The always-eccentric Mark Pope — just a few weeks away from beginning his fifth season at the helm of BYU’s program — invited all of the folks who cover his team to compete against each other on the hardwood for the first-ever “Media Madness” classic in Provo.
No surprise here: It was ridiculously fun.
I may be the youngest member of the Cougar beat, but I’m no dummy. When Mark Pope invites you to play a pickup game at the Marriott Center, you go and do without asking any questions.
As you can imagine, assembling a group of questionably-conditioned, sports-obsessed journalists to live out their unfulfilled hoop dreams is a dangerous game for plenty of reasons. A serious injury would be painful, sure, but suffering any sort of embarrassment in one of the ugliest basketball exhibitions ever would undoubtedly lead to a lifetime of shame and humiliation.
“All of you are so brave to be here,” Pope declared just before tipoff.
That bravery would soon be put to the test.
All of the media members-turned-ballers were divided into two squads to prepare for battle. I ended up on Team Blue, led by head coach Trevin Knell and assistants Richie Saunders, Fouss Traore and Noah Waterman. My teammates included Mitch Harper of KSL Sports, Kevin Reynolds of the Salt Lake Tribune, BYUtv’s Spencer Linton along with a number of other notable figures. Spencer Johnson was placed at the helm of Team White, with help from Dallin Hall, Jaxson Robinson and others.
Along with customized jerseys, we were given the typical Marriott Center pregame treatment with exciting introductions as artificial crowd noise was blasted to distract from the near-empty arena.
Showtime.
As mentioned, the quality of basketball was pretty disgusting. There were misses and fouls galore. Any sort of defense or ball movement was nonexistent. The officiating made me wonder if we were back in the WCC days dealing with those referees again.
I found it hilarious to see BYU’s excellent creative content specialists capturing our every move on camera as if any of us were doing anything worth viewing. Maybe they just have a keen eye for potential comedy.
I’ll be the first to admit that I have limited basketball skills. I’m not fast, not strong, can’t jump and can’t hit threes. With how out of shape I am, you could donate my body to science fiction.
Related
Despite my athletic shortcomings, I did manage to grab a few rebounds and score on a layup where I drove all the way down from half court, clearly proving how little defense was being played. Hopefully the creatives were able to get that one on film so I can use it to inflate my ego even further.
While sharpshooters Mitch and Kevin carried our squad offensively, we just couldn’t get the job done. We caved to White’s defensive pressure. We struggled on the glass. Ronald Weaver III of ESPN 960 torched us in every phase, earning the event’s MVP honors. At one point we were even caught with six men on the floor. (“The analytics told us having six guys on offense is better than five,” I joked in the postgame press conference.)
I consider myself a team player, but there are some things I just can’t let slide. Cosmo the Cougar — a late addition to our side — truly let us down. He proved to be a major liability on defense. If he can pull off the most insane stunts at every football game, how come he couldn’t make a free throw? That cat can dance, but his basketball chops left much to be desired. Come at me, Cosmo!
We ended up losing 28-25, but considering the fact that no one was injured, I’d say it was a win for everybody. We may have made a mockery of the sport with our performance, but man, it was just such a blast.
I’ve always wanted to be a sportswriter. Some kids grow up hoping to be the next Jimmer. I grew up just wanting to interview him.
For me, playing on the historic Marriott Center floor at Media Madness was special not because it was my dream to be a BYU basketball legend someday, but rather because my dream was to cover the Cougars as a journalist. Hearing my name called in introductions was a really incredible way to feel like I’ve truly made it.
Usually when we media members are at the Marriott Center, it’s to break down a game, file a story and ask tough questions. Being there just to play basketball was so refreshing. The grind of covering sports can grow stale at times, but Media Madness was a much-appreciated reminder of how much fun working in sports is supposed to be. I’m glad Coach Pope was wise enough to help us recognize that.
Jackson Payne is the sports editor for BYU’s Daily Universe and a Deseret News contributor. Follow him on Twitter @jackson5payne.
