In the 90-year history of the National Football League it's fairly certain that a team's season has never been derailed because the star quarterback may have text-messaged inappropriate photos to a "media personality" who was originally discovered when a television camera captured her cowboy hat and cleavage attire in the stands of a Florida State game.
The improbability scale can be doubled by the fact that the team with that same QB had just picked up a future Hall of Fame receiver because the receiver had reportedly made fun of his former quarterback's teenie-bopper haircut.
It's the Real Housewives of the NFL, one bizarre situation piled on top of the other. This season is a Kardashian cameo away from needing to credit Ryan Seacrest as an executive producer.
Minnesota Vikings QB Brett Favre(notes) is under "review" by the league for potential sexual harassment of Jenn Sterger back in 2008, when Favre was with the New York Jets and Sterger was an in-stadium "reporter."
Meanwhile, Randy Moss(notes) may have punched his ticket out of New England when he and Tom Brady(notes) had to be separated in the locker room, according to CBS's Charley Casserly. Brady reportedly told Moss to trim his beard. Moss shot back that Brady needed to do something with his Justin Bieber-inspired hair.
"You need to get your haircut," Moss said, according to Casserly. "You look like a girl."
New England, which is 3-1 on the season, promptly shipped its deep threat to Minnesota, meaning it will either revamp its offense on the fly or concede a season that still held promise. Minnesota reportedly gave up a third-round pick in the 2011 NFL draft for Moss because Favre desperately needed a playmaker to turn around a 1-2 campaign. Only now, Favre is in hot water and considering Roger Goodell's stringent personal conduct policy that could be serious.
There's minimal fan outrage that Favre may have been practicing what generations of players before him did – trying to pick up women. Meetings of the Monogamous Quarterback Club are generally small affairs. Ideally it's a private a matter between Favre, his family and Sterger, even after deadspin.com acquired voicemails and pictures it purports to be of quarterback's anatomy. Because of work place harassment laws, however, it isn't.
The legal issue is pretty clear though. Favre was an employee of the Jets. Sterger was, too – albeit a contractor. Take the specific people out of the equation and this is a serious deal for the NFL. Anyone who thinks otherwise is free to attempt Favre's pick-up tactics with someone at their office. Let us know how long it took to get fired.
The story is sensational and, for many, humorous. The heckling from Jets fans Monday in New Meadowlands Stadium, where the Vikings play, ought to be colorful. Two weeks from now in Green Bay even better.
Goodell will see it differently. Considering the commissioner has made disciplining misbehaving players a priority, Favre could wind up his most high-profile target. Ben Roethlisberger(notes) will return next week from a four-game suspension for an alleged offseason sexual assault at a Georgia nightclub that didn't result in charges being filed. The bar here is low.
Sterger reportedly isn't going to file charges either but will cooperate with NFL investigators. Two other Jets massage therapists have also come forward with allegations, so who knows what else is coming. A number of media reports claim the investigation will be concluded ASAP.
When Favre returned for another season no one thought it might get derailed by suspension. It's now at least a possibility. For the time being, though, he'll be throwing to Moss, giving Favre the weapon he's lacked as the Vikings take a final grasp at making something of this all-in gamble of a season.
Ever since New England dealt its big play receiver this week, the chief question was what happened to suddenly make him so disposable? According to Casserly, it was friction with Brady.
Did things turn sour between Moss and Brady?
(Michael Dwyer/AP Photo)
The idea of two players, who just three seasons ago combined for 23 touchdown passes, nearly coming to blows over a second-grade game of name calling about personal grooming is mind-boggling.
Players have feuded over just about everything through the years – women and poker debts being the most common subjects. No one could've predicted the metrosexual Brady mocking Moss' scruffy, West Virginia-bred beard would break up one of the greatest pitch-and-catch combinations in football history. Montana and Rice managed to avoid this stuff.
Brady is the king in New England, owner of not just a rich, long-term deal but the face of the franchise, its all-time greatest player and the winner of three Super Bowls. Yes, his looks and look have caused cringes throughout the fan base since he hooked up with wife Gisele Bundchen. Pats fans could justify it by arguing that if that's the price to marry a wealthy Brazilian supermodel, well, who wouldn't have taken the deal?
Now Moss is gone, perhaps the season too and Brady may never live down this report – even if it's proven inaccurate. You look like a girl is the kind of taunt that lives in infamy.
Kind of like the internet getting flooded with your self-portraits.
That's three eventual Hall of Famers, two scandals and a season on the brink for two teams that started the season thinking Super Bowl. And against the longest of odds, in a public relations scenario involving Favre, Moss and Brady, it is Randy that actually comes out the winner.
The NFL has been called sports' answer to the soap opera. After the past week, who can argue?