The Toronto Maple Leafs have had a hot start to the 2013-14 campaign. At 6-1-0, I think it's safe to say they've come into this season like a wrecking ball.
What's been the secret to their success? Lord knows it's not strong underlying numbers, the sort that tends to lead to success over a larger sample size, because they don't have those. Through their first seven games, the Leafs' victories are defying a lot of the conventional wisdom of the advanced stats community. On Monday, they won despite being outshot 37-14, for instance. How is this happening?
Thanks to Miley Cyrus, that's how. The Leafs have been using summer jam "We Can't Stop" as their victory song this season, and ever since hitching their Wagon's to Miley's train, they can't stop... winning. (I am so clever). From the Toronto Star:
The Maple Leafs have a new victory song this season —Miley Cyrus’s We Can’t Stop — although some of the players are a little sheepish talking about why that song plays in the dressing room immediately after the game.
“It’s certainly not my choice,” said Leaf forward Joffrey Lupul. “Whatever. As long as we keep winning, I’ll deal with it.”
It's an appropriate choice. Miley's tongue is about as long as the Leafs' cup drought. Plus she, like Randy Carlyle and Dave Nonis, has a predilection for bangers. (Although she spells it Bangerz. Nonis and Carlyle might too, for all we know.)
And while she may not be a good role model for the kids, she's definitely a good one for a hockey team looking to grind out wins. Nobody grinds like Miley. Just ask Robin Thicke.
But who picked this track, with its talk of a fondness for partying, home girls with big butts, dancing with Miley, and doing, saying, loving and kissing whatever and whomever one wants? What sort of NHLer rocks Miley in the locker room?
“I don’t want to say," Joffrey Lupul said. "You can probably figure it out.”
Phil Kessel seems a logical choice. After all, if there's anyone that knows about the USA and partying, it's him. But he pointed the media elsewhere:
Kessel on who's to blame for Miley Cyrus invasion of Leafs room: 'Probably it’s my buddy’s fault, but you can ask him about it'
— Mark Masters (@markhmasters) October 16, 2013
Yes, it's center Tyler Bozak, who, after signing that big extension this offseason, is the most likely Leaf to eat a sandwich made of money. Music selection is just one of the many intangibles he brings to the club.
And now that the secret's out, Bozak is taking Cyrus's advice and refusing to take nothing from nobody.
Bozak has never been shy about his love for pop music. As he told the Toronto Star back in 2010, he got on Twitter largely because he wanted to meet Taylor Swift. It didn't really work, mind you. When the Toronto Star reached out to Taylor Swift on Bozak's behalf (yes, they actually did this), her publicist declined to comment.
Probably for the best. “I wouldn’t know what to say,” Bozak said. “I’d be speechless.” Plus the Taylor Swift curse is a real thing.
But it would appear Bozak's done with Swift. Now he's trying to reach out to Miley.
Bozak, you fool. Miley doesn't respond to tweets -- just open letters.
The Leafs play next on Thursday. They may be without James Van Riemsdyk, who appears to have twerked -- I mean, tweaked -- something in his upper body.
- - - - - - -