Blast from the Past 55: Djimi Traore

Reviving the Premier League players you forgot existed…

When a football club’s fans create a customised song for one of their players, it is normally the ultimate mark of hero worship. “Ooh aaah Cantona”, “Steve Gerrard, Gerrard”, “Zamora, wooah oh oh oh”.

But not always, as Djimi Traore found out the hard way when Liverpool fans started up a catchy chant to the tune of the Jacksons’ 1978 hit Blame it on the Boogie.

“Don’t blame it on the Biscan, Don’t blame it on the Hamann, Don’t blame it on the Finnan, Blame it on Traore.”

Topped off with the killer line: “He just can’t, He just can’t, He just can’t control his feet.”

Many men would have been crushed to hear the cheery lyrics of a young, black Michael Jackson contorted in this unflattering way, but Traore had a thicker skin than most.

A footballer who experienced highs and lows of such dizzying contrast that his career could teach us more about the human condition than an anthology of existentialist essays by Jean-Paul Sartre, today he is adored by as many millions of fans as he is reviled.

A Reds cult hero or pariah depending on which fan you ask, it is unlikely that any player lived through a year of such contrasting emotions as Traore did in 2005.

In January, he scored arguably the most hilarious own goal in the history of own goals, when he showed remarkable technique to pirouette and backheel a low cross into his own net in an FA Cup match at Burnley – a mistake that made him a laughing stock across the globe.

Then in May, he won the goddam Champions League.

These were the two most memorable events of his surprisingly long, often tortuous, seven-year spell at Anfield at the start of this century. Nowadays, the mention of his name can arouse wildly varied responses from the Reds supporters that watched him play.

“In my eyes, Traore is technically the worst footballer I have ever seen play for Liverpool,” said one fan on the Red and White Kop forum. Others described him as “League One standard” “Bambi on ice” and “absolutely useless”.

But some are more sympathetic.

“He was such a clown sometimes but he still has a Champions League medal and played his role that season. Every bit of respect for the man,” commented a fellow Koppite.

Signed by Gerard Houllier from French side Laval in 1999 as a raw 19-year-old, Traore’s appearances were initially sporadic until he was given a sustained run at centre-back in the 2002/03 season.

Many were left unimpressed, including Houllier, who demoted him to the reserves the following year and at one point agreed to sell him to Everton, only for the move to fall through.

Traore’s fortunes were revived, in a way, when Houllier was replaced by Rafa Bentiez. The Spaniard frequently turned to Traore when he needed someone to do a job at left-back. And some of the time, Traore did.

“His technique, defensively anyway, was actually quite good. It just took too long to get what he wanted to do from his brain to his feet,” commented one fan.

This affliction would prove costly at a snowy Turf Moor as the Reds faced Burnley in the Cup. Traore’s brain decided that a mid-air Cruyff turn inside his own six-yard box would be groovy idea, but his feet strongly disagreed. The result was spectacular.

It was a mishap that came to define Traore from that moment on, but Benitez maintained his trust in the awkward full-back when few others did.

As the Champions League reached its business end, the pragmatic manager gave Traore strict instructions to rarely leave his own half as the Reds defence shut up shop against Europe’s elite.

After helping the side overcome Juventus and Chelsea, he had earned his place to face AC Milan in the final. Despite looking rather shaky in the first half, his goal-line clearance to deny Andriy Shevchenko with the score tied at 3-3 booked his place in Reds history.

“Simply, he saved us. Without that clearance from Traore, there would be no trophy,” said one Reds fan.

“The Burnley own goal seems rather insignificant when compared to him clearing it off the line in Istanbul!” pointed out another.

And so Traore left Anfield as the most unlikely of heroes. He signed for Charlton in 2006, and also had spells at Portsmouth, Birmingham, Monaco and Marseille. But nowhere is he more revered than at Anfield – the place he was once derided.

“He wrote his name in Liverpool folklore and he will be always be adored for it,” said one. “He is my favourite s*** player,” quipped another.

And that should have been that, until something unexpected happened in March 2013.

If you can imagine on turning on the TV and being greeted by the unlikely sight of your Nan scoring a 35-yard screamer in a professional football match, you will be able to appreciate what it felt like for Liverpool fans to witness this goal.

It’s Traore, breaking the net for Seattle Sounders in a Major League Soccer match. One of the most implausible strikes in the history of football, and belated proof that he could control his feet after all.

Follow @darlingkevin on Twitter

READ MORE

No.1: Hassan Kachloul
No.2: Joe-Max Moore
No.3: Titi Camara
No.4: Regi Blinker
No.5: Hamilton Ricard
No.6: Shaun Bartlett
No.7: Roque Junior
No.8: Stefan Schwarz
No.9: Andy Impey
No.10: Magnus Hedman
No.11: Danny Tiatto
No.12: Dejan Stefanovic
No.13: Darren Eadie
No.14: Facundo Sava
No.15: Alpay
No.16: Jostein Flo
No.17: Per Frandsen
No.18: Geoff Horsfield
No.19: Aki Riihilahti
No.20: Temuri Ketsbaia
No.21: Willem Korsten
No.22: Nordin Wooter
No.23: Samassi Abou
No.24: Jason Lee
No.25: David Lee
No.26: Finidi George
No.27: Paul Warhurst
No.28: Henri Camara
No.29: Francis Benali
No.30: Daniel Amokachi
No.31: Emerson
No.32: Igor Biscan
No.33: Bruno Ribeiro
No.34: Kiki Musampa
No.35: Horacio Carbonari
No.36: Karl Ready
No.37: The Zenith Data Systems Cup
No.38: John Jensen
No.38: Karel Poborsky
No.39: Paul Bosvelt
No.40: Stelios Giannakopoulos
No 41: Ulises de la Cruz
No 42: Cobi Jones
No.43: Jose Dominguez
No.44: Barry Hayles
No.45: Marc Hottiger
No.46: Alan Kimble
No.47: Stan Lazaridis
No.48: Radostin Kishishev
No.49: Tony Yeboah
No.50: Bryan Roy
No.51: Corrado Grabbi
No.52: Chris Kiwomya
No.53: Frank Sinclair
No.54: Jeremy Goss