Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Ball Don't Lie

Thu May 29, 2008 3:15 pm EDT

1st Annual Ball Don't Lie NBA Spelling Bee

By J.E. Skeets

In honor of the start of the 80th Scripps National Spelling Bee, the Ball Don't Lie Board of Linguistics and Language has created a little contest to help kill your Thursday afternoon. The prize? Absolutely nothing, tax-free.

How do you win? Simple: Correctly identify and spell the full names of the eight past and present NBA players pictured below. That's it. Best of luck, young Aishwarya Pastapur.


Two more things:

Yes, bonus points will be awarded for NOT using the Internet to cheat.

No, names will not be used in a sentence.

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32 Comments

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  1. baller13zg
    1. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    No internet I promise.
    Wally Szczerbiak.
    2 IDK
    3 Zydrunas Ilgauskas
    4 IDK
    5 Anderson Varejao
    6-8 IDK
  2. Jeff Clark
    2. Posted by Jeff Clark Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:29 pm EDT

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    1. Blue Steel
    2. That Guy
    3. Big Z
    4. that little Italian guy
    5. Sideshow Bob
    6. Ha ha
    7. Alphabet
    8. Some old guy
  3. KD
    3. Posted by KD Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:48 pm EDT

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    I promise ...
    1. Wally Szczerbiak
    2. Kelenna Azubuike
    3. Zydrunas Ilgauskas
    4. (something) Rigudeau. Antoine Rigudeau? Andre? Antoine. Go with Antoine. Lots of Antoines in the NBA.
    5. Anderson Varejao
    6. Dwayne Schnitzius
    7. Larry Bird, natch.
    8. Dave DeBusschere
  4. KD
    4. Posted by KD Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:48 pm EDT

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    CelticsBlog:
    You forgot "uh, Aberdovic." And "the lefty."
    To this day, if you want to make my Dad cough up a lung, mention Johnny Most trying to call the McDonald's tourney from 1988.
  5. Des H
    5. Posted by Des H Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:41 pm EDT

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    1. Wally Szcerbiak
    2. Kelenna Azubuike
    3. Zydrunas Ilgauskas
    4. IDK
    5. Anderson Varejao
    6. Tom Chambers
    7. IDK
    8. Kevin McHale
  6. the REAL Headless Chicken
    6. Posted by the REAL Headless Chicken Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:12 pm EDT

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    Wasn't it Schintzius, KD? Rigudeau played Ball? I thought that was a hockey name... And yeah, that must be Bird.
  7. Envigado
    7. Posted by Envigado Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:24 pm EDT

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    Alaa Abdelnaby and Lyrics Born- separated at birth?
  8. mcwelk
    8. Posted by mcwelk Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:14 pm EDT

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    Alaa Abdelnaby. We're not worthy.
  9. KD
    9. Posted by KD Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:48 pm EDT

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    OK, I missed the one I missed and another one I misspelled. Six out of eight, 75 percent, sounds like high school to me.
  10. Damon
    10. Posted by Damon Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:34 pm EDT

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    From the Dwayne Schintzius wikipedia page:
    Brandon High School, Schintzius played for the Florida basketball team in the late 1980s. He had several disciplinary problems while in college, including an assault charge for allegedly attacking a car with a tennis racket.[2]
    ...
    He was later suspended indefinitely in 1990 by his coach Don DeVoe for the combination of a fraternity house fight and a stubborn refusal to get a haircut. Schintzius released a statement that he could "no longer sail under the authority of Captain Ahab."
  11. Kaan Kural
    11. Posted by Kaan Kural Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:46 pm EDT

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    1.wally szczerbiak
    2.kelenna azubuike
    3.zydrunas ilgauskas
    4.antoine rigaudeau
    5.anderson varejao
    6.dwyane schintzius
    7.alaa abdelnaby
    8.darn i missed out at the last one... ok i cheated at #6 too
  12. baller13zg
    12. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    7 is definitely ME. Baller8184198. For sure.
  13. Mathias
    13. Posted by Mathias Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:11 pm EDT

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    at first, I thought #8 was 'Doug Moe', just for kicks.
    i'm ashamed to say I don't even recognise #4...
  14. baller13zg
    14. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    1.wally szczerbiak
    2.kelenna azubuike
    3.zydrunas ilgauskas
    4.antoine rigudeau
    5.anderson varejao
    6.dwyane schintzius
    7.alaa abdelnaby
    8 dave debuscherre
  15. Jeff Clark
    15. Posted by Jeff Clark Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:29 pm EDT

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    I got number 3 wrong as well, that's obviously Peter Stormare
  16. baller13zg
    16. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    I think i'm the first one to get all 8, even if i cheated.
  17. goathair
    17. Posted by goathair Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:10 pm EDT

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    Schintzius' mullet is amazing. I think he painted the water tower at university.
  18. Lawrence G.
    18. Posted by Lawrence G. Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:12 pm EDT

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    01. Wally Szerbiak
    02. IDK
    03. Zydrunas Ilgauskas
    04. Don Flamenco (previously of Punch Out)
    05. Anderson Varejao
    06. Crush (previously of the WWE/F)
    07. Lil' Mac (previously of Punch Out)
    08. IDK
    I wish I could've came up with something funnier for 2 & 8.
  19. Ty
    19. Posted by Ty Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:26 pm EDT

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    1. Derek Zoolander (old, but who cares?)
    2. Nacho Johnson (not Joe Johnson)
    3. Uncle Fester
    4. Vince Vaughn and Brent Barry put together? IDK
    5. Carlito/Sideshow Bob
    6. Chris Cooley
    7. Eddie Munster
    8. The day Burt Reynolds decided to shave his epic mustache
    Now, where is my tax-free nothing?!?!
  20. BigTo
    20. Posted by BigTo Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:40 pm EDT

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    I suck.
    1.Wally Szczerbiak aka Derrick Zoolander
    3.Zydrunas Ilgauskas aka Z
    5.Anderson Varejao aka Sideshow Bob
  21. NativeSun
    21. Posted by NativeSun Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:44 pm EDT

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    1. zoolander
    2. michael bivins
    3. young joey crawford
    4. the first overhyped nellie foreigner
    5. sideshow bob
    6. captain planet
    7. contributor to duke's legacy of underachieving professionals
    8. extra from the basketball scene of "one flew over the cuckoo's nest"
  22. Mojo
    22. Posted by Mojo Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:00 pm EDT

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    1. Wally Szcerbiak
    2. Kelenna Azubuike
    3. Zydrunas Ilgauskas
    4. Antoine Rigudeau
    5. Andersen Varajao
    6. who cares
    7. ugly guy
    8. uglier guy
  23. doneycat
    23. Posted by doneycat Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:46 pm EDT

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    Okay, I'll use each in a sentence:
    1. Wally Szczerbiak missed 4 open threes, but he's still better than Larry Hughes.
    2. Kelenna Azubuike had 18 pts and 5 asts in last night's Warriors win; expect a DNP-CD their next game.
    3. Zydrunas Ilgauskas' back flared up again, making it the 49th time over the life of his contract.
    4. Antoine Rigaudeau is French for "end of the bench".
    5. And Anderson Varejao draws the charge on Rasheed Wallace, prompting him to get his second technical.
    6. Dwayne Schintzius is just Andrew DeClercq with a mullet.
    7. Alaa Abdelnaby was a nice Egyptian guy to have around but ultimately useless - much like Sallah in "raiders of the lost ark".
    8. Why did Dave Debusschere have to start the trend where teams think that just because he was a star player, he could be a good general manager? (Jerry West aside)
  24. Louis
    24. Posted by Louis Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:01 pm EDT

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    I only got one right. You have a tough job Skeets.
    Also, it's funny that Alaa Abdelnaby and Dwayne Schintzius were drafted back-to-back in the first round of the 1990 NBA draft.
  25. Spiderbandit88 - Read the Blogs, Not the Comments
    25. Posted by Spiderbandit88 - Read the Blogs, Not the Comments Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:08 pm EDT

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    some of these answers are hilarious, extra credit goes to the guy referencing Punch-Out!!, awesome
    I only know Varejao/Sideshow Bob/Carlito because I just started watching the NBA about 3 years ago.

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Ball Don't Lie is an NBA blog edited by J.E. Skeets. Email him, and follow him on Twitter.

Contributors:
Kelly Dwyer, Rod Benson, Trey Kerby, Nick Friedell, Garbage Time All-Stars, Blair Johnson,

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