Midsummer siesta

DETROIT – The reason why Kenny Rogers, who's facing a 20-game suspension for assaulting a television cameraman, shouldn't have been allowed to play in Tuesday's MLB All-Star game was evident long before he was shelled in the seventh inning.

Rogers was pitching for the home team – the American League – and yet was lustily booed by a bunch of American League fans. That's not exactly the kind of feel-good, Americana, fathers-and-sons, let's-have-a-catch stuff baseball likes to peddle.

"I wasn't really dwelling on it," said Rogers after his AL team beat the National League 7-5. "I think if it makes me better in the long run, it was worth it."

So that's nice for him.

Actually, we will say this for Rogers' one-inning performance. It was about the only thing that got the Comerica Park fans excited, one way or another.

On a warm and humid night in the Midwest, they staged an All-Star game full of the excitement and ambiance of your typical algebra class.

You just never know with All-Star games. Some are compelling. Some are surprising. Some are historic.

And some are snoozers.

Far be it from a jaded sports writer to determine what passes for a good game, but there was a reason fans started leaving in the middle of the sixth inning with the AL up 7-0. By the time some rain fell in the eighth, the crowd was scattered as the NL attempted to mount a comeback.

"I like the fact we kept playing," NL manager Tony La Russa said. "We made them nervous."

Moral victories in an All-Star game? It was that kind of night.

With 20 first-time All-Stars and 18 second-time selections, this was hailed as a changing-of-the-guard game. The theory was that we might look back in 10 years and realize this was the first national appearance of a whole bunch of legends.

Which would be really cool – a decade from now. In the interim, the fans probably would rather have seen Barry Bonds and Derek Jeter.

At least there was Rogers. Other than that, the biggest ovation of the night came when they introduced Ernie Harwell, the Tigers' legendary, good-guy, retired play-by-play man.

So maybe Bud Selig, who loves tinkering with this game, could try to follow MTV's latest model for the Real World/Road Rules Challenge – the Good Guys vs. the Badasses.

Forget stats, strong starts and league affiliations. Stack one team with some lovable characters – Manny Ramirez, Brian Roberts, Derek Jeter. On the other team, trot out Rogers, Balco Barry and John Rocker, with special guest manager Morris Buttermaker, who would be summarily fired in the fifth inning by George Steinbrenner for drinking generic beer in the dugout.

What, you don't think Fox would jump at that?

All we know is that for one night, at least, the old system didn't give the fans all that much. Oh, there was a nice homer by Miguel Tejada, the game's MVP. Roger Clemens pitched a scoreless inning under a barrage of flashbulbs. Luis Castillo made some sick snags at second. Mariano Rivera did his "Enter Sandman" routine in the ninth.

Other than that, well, the two teams set an All-Star game record for most double plays (five).

Most of the blame for the lack of buzz has to go to the NL All-Stars, who – despite boasting a triple-crown threat (Derrek Lee) and a guy who slugged 41 dingers in Monday's Home Run Derby (Bobby Abreu) – showed up in Detroit and promptly hit like the Tigers.

The dead bats were a long cry from the steroid era, when guys routinely crushed balls into the heavens. Sure it was cartoonish and corrupt, but it made for good TV.

Through five innings on Tuesday, the NL had five measly hits and no runs. It was so weak of a performance that the AL pitchers got nervous they would allow a run and embarrass themselves.

"That had me going even more," said Jon Garland, the AL's sixth-inning pitcher. "I didn't want to go in there and give up the first run."

Garland didn't. The NL went scoreless through six, which bolstered AL manager Terry Francona's confidence so much that he sent Rogers to the mound. Rogers' appearance caused everyone to boo the home team and then cheer the visitors when Andruw Jones carried out some cameraman justice by hitting a home run.

What was Francona's opinion of Rogers getting booed? "I was going to the bathroom," he said.

In the seventh inning, MLB played an anti-doping commercial on the Jumbotron that concluded "steroids don't make great athletes, they destroy them."

All of which is true. But they did make for fun All-Star games.