Tresolini: Newark, Stanford great Harris coped with incongruity of being gay NFL lineman

There had never been anyone like him before.

Little did we know the extent to which that would go.

But that was our belief when Kwame Harris, all 6-foot-5 and 300 pounds of him and still growing, showed up on Newark High’s offensive line as a ninth grade phenom in 1996.

It was preposterous. Nobody could be that good and that big as a freshman.

In 1997, Harris became Delaware’s first offensive lineman to be first-team All-State as a sophomore. By his senior year in 1999, he was a three-time choice, a two-way first-team pick while also starring on the state champion Yellowjackets’ defensive front, plus the first lineman to be state Offensive Player of the Year.

By that time, college football’s recruiting eyes, which had rarely glanced toward the First State, were riveted on Harris. Penn State coach Joe Paterno landed on the field at Hoffman Memorial Stadium in a helicopter when he came to woo him.

Those coaches learned they had to time their visits appropriately, then-Newark coach Butch Simpson said, because Harris would not miss class to meet them because it might undermine his studies. The fact Harris was a standout student, accomplished pianist and violinist, avid reader and engaging conversationalist only added to the sense of wonder that enveloped him.

The gentle giant was 6-foot-7 and more than 300 pounds when he jetted off to his college choice Stanford. In three years there, Harris was eventually cited as the Pac-10’s best lineman and an All-American before being the first-round draft choice of the San Francisco 49ers in 2003.

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Few, however, fully understood what an enigma Harris truly was and the difficult path he’d actually traveled to reach those places and scale those heights.

“It’s a journey, right?” Harris said Thursday night at Wilmington’s Chase Center on the Riverfront after being inducted into the Delaware Sports Hall of Fame.

“That’s the thing that I’ve learned to try to appreciate, everything I’ve gone through to get from there to here.”

Harris is 41 now, his hair flecked with gray. He is still tall, of course, but way too thin to be an offensive tackle. He is living happily in south Florida.

Harris had become a football icon while feeling forced to suppress, except to family and those especially close such as Simpson and his wife, Charlotte, sexuality he knew was contrary to that rough-and-tough gridiron guise.

The inability to reveal his true self, as a gay man, in an environment where he would likely be rejected and ridiculed, gnawed at Harris.

“It wouldn’t work,” he said Thursday, before adding, “I wish I would have had more courage” to perhaps be more open.

That likely played a role in Harris’ six-year NFL career being rather lackluster, as he fought the incongruity of who he was and who he was expected to be.

Several years after Harris’ NFL career concluded, when news of charges stemming from a domestic quarrel broke, was when Harris’ personal life became public knowledge. He spoke publicly for the first time then about the inner conflicts with which he’d lived.

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It would eventually, in a way, set him free.

That was 10 years ago.

“He’s gone through his acceptance of the world knowing who he is,” Simpson said Thursday, once again demonstrating his trademark eloquence, “and especially the world he was in. When you really think about it, it’s difficult enough.”

Simpson remembered Harris initially expressing a lack of interest in and passion for playing football and his disbelief college recruiters thought he was so talented.

“I so admire him,” Simpson said, “to channel what was a God-given skill that was in contradiction with who he was, and for him to say, ‘I can run with this. I can make something out of this.’”

In his first visit to Delaware since Simpson’s last game in 2015, it was clear Harris is quite comfortable with who he is. Part of that comes from living in a world that has become more accepting of those with unconventional lifestyles.

“We’re always scared of things we don’t understand,” he said in a moment of reflection. “That’s what a lot of it is, just exposing, ‘Hey, … I’m the same person you love and have hung out with and made memories with. This just happens to be part of my mix-up.’”

It was clear Harris was deeply honored and truly appreciated and relished the fanfare he was afforded last Thursday, when he was joined by his family, including brother Orien, who also starred at Newark and Miami and played 20 NFL games and now lives in Atlanta. Kwame appreciated the many handshakes and hugs.

“Delaware has always taken care of me in a way,” Harris said. “This whole experience has really made me appreciate this place. It feels like home more than anywhere I ever lived.”

Have an idea for a compelling local sports story or is there an issue that needs public scrutiny? Contact Kevin Tresolini at ktresolini@delawareonline.com and follow on Twitter @kevintresolini. Support local journalism by subscribing to delawareonline.com

This article originally appeared on Delaware News Journal: Stanford, 49ers lineman Harris struggled with being gay football star