Sorry Six: Kicking around the NFL's ugliest teams

Anyone can list the best teams in the NFL. That’s easy, and around the Sorry Six, we don’t do easy. Pathetic, ugly, misbegotten and cringeworthy, yes, but never easy.

The rules here are simple: these are the six teams, players, units, coaches or fan bases that turned in the sorriest performances of the week. They’re not necessarily the worst in the league, but they ought to be ashamed of themselves. And we start on not-so-special special teams…

1. Kickers

Black Monday came early this year, as two separate kickers got the boot—sorry—after wretched performances on Sunday. So, farewell Zane Gonzalez and Daniel Carlson. We hope that as you took that last drive out of your teams’ facilities, you didn’t drift right. And while I’m at it, what’s up with these fools on Twitter calling for these kickers’ heads? Come on. That’s brutal. None of these clowns talking trash about kickers have ever dealt with that kind of big-game pressure in their lives.

All right, maybe that guy.

2. Buffalo Bills

The news that Buffalo has outlawed table-jumping for the loyal Bills Mafia is just another sign of how out-of-touch NFL ownership is. Look, this is a terrible team. Their loyal fans leap off RVs and injure themselves just so they can feel something, anything at all. This week: the Vikings will feast on Buffalo meat. Sorry, Bills fans.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers

This team’s always about one lunch table away from full-on middle-school drama, but even by its own Mean Girls standards it’s been a wild couple weeks in Pittsburgh. The running back’s holding out and riding jet skis, the wide receiver’s making quote-unquote jokes about getting traded, and the quarterback’s showing up in news articles about the president and an adult film star. All of which would be just fine if the Steelers could win a game once in awhile.

4. Oakland Raiders

After Sunday’s loss to the Broncos, Jon Gruden said the team needs to get better at pass rushing. That sound you heard was every member of Raider Nation spitting up their cheap beer at once. And somewhere, in the distance, Khalil Mack laughs.

5. Seattle Seahawks

We could also put the Arizona Cardinals in this slot, but outside of David Johnson, most people have forgotten they even exist. Anyway, it’s the 25th anniversary of Nirvana’s “In Utero” record, and it feels like it’s been that long since the now 0-2 Seahawks have been relevant too.

6. New York Giants

Do this. Hold your hands as far apart as you can. That distance? That’s about how far Odell Beckham can get before the Giants offensive line collapses on poor Eli Manning. It’s like playing quarterback against an incoming tide. Got a feeling we’ll be checking in with New York a lot on this list.

And that’ll do it for this week’s Sorry Six! Congrats to all the teams that made it, and even more congrats to those that didn’t. Got comments? Hit us up by email or find us on Twitter at @jaybusbee. Catch you next week, and remember … never be sorry.

____
Jay Busbee is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at jay.busbee@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter or on Facebook.

More from Yahoo Sports:
• Roethlisberger ‘terrified’ me, Stormy Daniels says
• Jets RB Crowell trolls Browns with vulgar celebration
• Rookie Mayfield’s NFL debut is one to remember
• Dan Wetzel: This time Conor McGregor isn’t faking the hate