Recapping the Blue Jays season after a Raptors hangover

So, you’ve spent the last two and a half months hitching your star to the Toronto Raptors wagon, and you ended up getting towed along into a championship parade. An incredible story concluded with a party the size of which the sports world has never seen, and an all-day celebration downtown that brought out fans from coast-to-coast in record numbers to dance in the streets.

Now the party is over, you’ve refreshed every video and picture of the speeches and buses in your Instagram hundreds of times, and you’ve finally officially showered the smell of champagne off of your body. You start to wonder what you’ll do to fill your nights, because your insatiable need for fresh sports content will never be silenced.

Then, maybe when you’re flipping channels on the couch or getting wings at a bar and notice a TV out of the corner of your eye, you are reminded that the 2019 Toronto Blue Jays exist.

You turn your attention to the screen, only to realize you’re not sure at all what has happened at any point this season because you got so caught up in the Fun Guys.

If that sounds like something that has happened or could happen to you, here’s a quick recap of the Blue Jays season so far to catch you up to speed through the first 72 games. Yes, I know, they’ve somehow already played 72 games.

Surprise! They’re bad.

The very first thing you’ll notice when you look into the team is that they have been really bad and lost a lot so far. They’re already 20 games under .500 and 18.5 back of the division lead, and nothing you can really point to suggests the record should be better than it is.

They haven’t been this bad in about 40 years and the big challenge down the stretch to keep an eye on will be if they can stave off losing 100 games.

The positive here is that you won’t have to plan your week around where you’re watching any specific game, and you won’t find yourself in a standing room only bar filming your reaction to any ninth innings. You can relax and not get too worked up over any isolated incident from a game, because it won’t factor into the fate of the season.

The kids are here

It’s not all bad and big losses, as there are some certifiable reasons to be tuning in.

Vladimir Guerrero Jr. — have you seen this, have you heard about this? — is in the lineup every day (except on Victoria Day, which was a thing) and you don’t have to learn any weird contract rules or CBA details to appreciate it.

He’s still figuring out everything that he’s capable of, but his phenom status offers a rare opportunity to watch a special talent come of age at the highest level. He’s not immediately an MVP candidate, but every game offers a flash of what could be to come.

Similarly, the Blue Jays called up Cavan Biggio, another legacy kid with a Hall of Fame father. He’s shown elite plate discipline and has progressed from a relative non-prospect to possible long-term piece for the franchise.

All told, 11 players aged 25 or younger have played for the Blue Jays this season, and there are a few more guys like Bo Bichette and Nate Pearson to dream on in the not too distant future.

The year of Just A Guy

The thing you’ve missed most of if you’re just joining the Blue Jays season now is a regular churn of “Just A Guy” type players at the bottom of the roster.

Here is a quick list of names that you will almost certainly never have to know anything about: Alen Hanson, Socrates Brito, Jonathan Davis, Billy McKinney, Jimmy Cordero, Zac Rosscup, Ryan Feierabend, Derek Law, Javy Guerra, Justin Shafer, Nick Kingham.

Baseball is remarkable for how many immediately forgotten players pass through a roster on any given year — remember when Junior Lake, Jimmy Paredes, and Darrell Ceciliani played for the ALCS-bound 2016 Jays? — and this phenomenon goes double for bad teams.

The rotation is crumbling

The Blue Jays tried to piece together a rotation with a lot of low-risk veterans that they likely hoped could combine to eat up enough innings to keep the wheels from completely falling off in the short term.

That plan has failed pretty spectacularly.

Matt Shoemaker was great through five starts before a season-ending injury, and all the other pieces have eroded away any foundation of the depth the team may have fooled themselves into believing they’d acquired.

Clay Buchholz, Sean Reid-Foley, Clayton Richard, Thomas Pannone, and Edwin Jackson have combined to make 18 starts, to almost unanimously disastrous results.

The Blue Jays starters have posted a combined 5.07 ERA, 24th in baseball.

Marcus Stroman has held down his part of the deal as the staff ace, with a 3.18 ERA and long stretches where he has looked like one of the best starters in the American League, and has been rewarded with some of the worst run support in baseball.

Rookie Trent Thornton has been a decent surprise with a funky delivery and fun specs, while Aaron Sanchez is exactly who you remember: good for stretches and never far from a random finger-related injury.

We’re getting weird

New manager Charlie Montoyo brings with him a Tampa Bay Rays induced desire to try new things, and a season already ear-marked as a lost cause and a roster full of players without established spots has produced a lot of odd experimentation, to very mixed results.

You may remember defensively-challenged left fielder Teoscar Hernandez from last year? He’s the every day centre fielder now.

Lourdes Gurriel Jr. is now an outfielder, in part because no other third outfield option has been any good and because he became incapable of throwing accurately from second base.

Backup catcher Luke Maile pitched, and did pretty well for himself.

Thirty-three-year-old Eric Sogard signed a minor-league contract in spring and has been the best hitter on the team for long stretches.

There have been bunts, openers, infielders playing in the outfield, little league home runs, double switches that remove the designated hitter, and a seemingly endless line of face-palming moments in the field already.

So, nobody would blame you if you’d spent your spring soaking in the celebration and suspense of the Raptors run to the NBA Finals, but now you can spend your summer nights knowing you’ve caught up to all you need to know about what’s been going on at the Rogers Centre.

Alright, maybe you can swipe through that parade gallery one more time.

More Blue Jays coverage from Yahoo Sports