Oller's Second Thoughts: Brady, Belichick reuniting at Michigan? Who is fooling whom?
BREAKING: According to a source’s source, who happens to be the brother-in-law of another source, who met Tom Brady’s gardener during a recent vacation to Greece, the now retired seven-time Super Bowl champion is returning to Michigan next season to start at quarterback.
And his QB coach will be Bill Belichick.
No foolin’?
Brady left Michigan in 1999 with one year of eligibility remaining, having redshirted as a freshman. He exhausted that eligibility by turning pro, but recently regained amateur status after retiring Feb. 1, 2023.
The GOAT could not be reached for comment, but his pool cleaner’s nephew assured The Dispatch – and he would never pull our leg on April 1 – that Brady is bored with his $375 million analyst gig with Monday Night Football and wants to get back on the field.
More Rob Oller: Oller's Second Thoughts: Ohio State basketball brings elements of surprise, frustration
“I’m bored with my $375 million analyst gig with Monday Night Football and want to get back on the field,” Brady told, er, someone.
Tom Terrific mostly was Tom Not Terrible when playing for the Wolverines, which is another reason he wants to don the maize and blue one more time. He figures that with a good 2024 season he can improve his draft status and prove he should have been higher than a sixth-round pick in 2000. (Note: Members of Brady’s legal team have yet to inform him that he likely cannot be drafted twice, although the guy who just cleaned my chimney said he heard from his neighbor that NFL commish Roger Goodell would be open to the idea, if it meant bringing even more eyeballs to the league, which of course it would.)
Anyway, Brady’s return to Ann Arbor is bad news for Ohio State, although if the Buckeyes can get enough pressure on No. 12, he might throw for only five touchdowns instead of seven.
More bad news for OSU? Michigan first-year coach Sherrone Moore one-upped Ryan Day by hiring Belichick as his quarterbacks coach. After Day brought in friend Chip Kelly to run the Buckeyes offense, Moore said, ‘Watch this,’ and convinced Belichick to reunite with Brady.
Our Michigan sources, most of whom live in their parents’ basements, revealed that Belichick accepted the job not because of Brady, but because he has formed a close friendship with former UM spy Connor Stalions. It takes one to know one, I guess.
No matter how you look at it, and you would be wise to look at it with great skepticism, the Brady-Belichick pairing will be worth watching.
By the way, no truth to the rumor Day is recruiting Peyton Manning from the retiree transfer portal.
Time to come clean on NIL paydays
Another day, another rant about NIL. I don’t care how much college athletes make, but I want to know how much they make. It’s not that I’m nosy – well, OK, there is some of that – but I find it disingenuous for collectives to ask fans for money to fund football (mostly), basketball (secondary) and other sports (well back in third place) then fail to reveal where and to whom the money goes specifically.
That’s one beef. Another is OSU, or any school, emphasizing NIL as a recruiting tool, then downplaying it when a recruit signs or a transfer climbs aboard. Be honest and transparent. When Ohio State signs an elite recruit, acknowledge it’s not just because of “The Brotherhood” or because the player wants a chance to win a national championship. It’s also because of the money. Just say so. Like Nick Saban did.
After retiring in January, Saban explained to ESPN how his season-ending meetings with players went following Alabama’s Rose Bowl loss to Michigan.
“I thought we could have a hell of a team next year, and then maybe 70 or 80 percent of the players you talk to, all they want to know is two things: What assurances do I have that I’m going to play because they’re thinking about transferring and how much are you going to pay me?”
Listening in
“Nuf said. Magic. Absolutely magic. Congrats Coach Keatts and the Pack!” – Bob Valvano, brother of Jim Valvano, on the similarities between this year’s North Carolina State team, which reached the Final Four by defeating Duke Sunday, and the 1983 Wolfpack that won the national title under Jim Valvano.
Off-topic
My wife and I took my 95-year-old mother to Olive Garden for Easter dinner. Per usual, she insisted I eat half her meal and then still took some home in a doggy bag. Happens every time. One of those special “family” moments you can always count on. What are some of yours?
This article originally appeared on The Columbus Dispatch: Oller's Second Thoughts: Tom Brady, Bill Belichick reuniting at Michigan
