Insider: Why Michael Pittman Jr. is the edge the Colts need

INDIANAPOLIS - Michael Pittman Jr. had just finished pin-balling through the best defense in the NFL in a game his team would go on to lose. And now he was staring into his Lucas Oil Stadium locker, searching for what went wrong.

He and I often talk after games about what happened, the good and the bad. This one was especially painful, as the Colts lost 39-38 to the Browns in the final minute. The game was all of 20 minutes old.

I started by asking about that 75-yard go-ahead touchdown catch, the longest of his career, but just his second catch of the day.

"They just didn't target me today, for whatever reason," he said. "Maybe I'm not a big part of the offense.

"When I do get the ball, I feel like I always do something with it. Just know that I'm viable to break off a big one in any situation vs. any team. I'm just trying to show the coaches that I'm out there, too."

These are the quotes that have taken off on the Internet, leading some to question Pittman's motives and the vibe of the Colts passing game under first-year coach Shane Steichen.

But another quote he gave, when asked about the Colts' 456 yards and 38 points on the No. 1 defense, reveals a lot:

"There's really no moral victories in a loss like this," he said.

Pittman lives by two rules in this sport:

Losing is never acceptable.

If it happens, however it happens, there was always something he could have done to prevent it.

This is who Pittman has been after every game since I started covering him in 2021. The wins lift him, sometimes in spite of the stats. The losses crush him, igniting a search for answers. Occasionally, the answers can come in the role.

More often they lie within.

Last year, the Colts lost to the Commanders when Pittman dropped a pass late, and he told me he was to blame for offensive coordinator Marcus Brady getting fired. After another loss, he called his play "dog(bleep)."

"Trust me," Matt Ryan said about Pittman last season, "I'd rather have a guy that's accountable and takes ownership for his own things than where it's the other way, where you're trying to get more out of him than he wants to give."

Pittman is the most competitive football player I have been around in eight seasons covering three NFL teams. I discovered it in a series of conversations for a deep-dive into what he calls his multiple personalities.

He is, as they say, built differently.

He was born the son of an NFL running back, given the same name to chase the same dream. But when Michael Pittman Sr. retired from the Broncos when his son was 11 and told him he was too tall to play running back, the younger Pittman raged -- until he found a way to play that vicious "Pittman" style after the catch, like we saw Sunday. He runs with the angry promises he made as an 11-year-old boy.

GO DEEPER: The multiple personalities of Michael Pittman Jr.

Pittman Jr. grew to be 6-foot-4 and 223 pounds and became a five-star recruit, a Biletnikoff Award finalist and an NFL team's leading receiver, furthering his belief that he could do anything -- and twisting the knife inside whenever those gifts and desires didn't add up to a win.

He once caught 16 passes for 356 yards in a high school playoff game only for his team to lose by three touchdowns. It is statistically the greatest game he'll ever play -- and yet he doesn't like to talk about it, because it was a loss.

Along the way, his father instilled a lesson on where this ego and fire had to lead in the ultimate team sport.

“I always told him, ‘Son, don’t be that arrogant, knucklehead kid who puts your teammates down because you’re good,’" Pittman Sr. said. "Be that kid who uplifts those guys who don’t have the confidence you have. Make them feel important and a part of the team. In the end, they’ll thank you for that.’”

Now 26 and the Colts' oldest starting receiver, Pittman Jr. leads with his play. In his zero-sum world, the only destinations are victory and defeat.

So in a game of inches like Sunday's, he'll believe the missing inch falls on him. To think otherwise is to accept the fate of losing.

"I love Pitt," general manager Chris Ballard said back in August. "... I don't mind guys that are emotional and care because they want to win and guys that want the ball. That stuff doesn't bother me. I would rather have a guy like Pitt who wants it and wants to win and does all the little things competitively right instead of a guy that just accepts what his role is."

Pittman has another fan in his head coach.

"He’s the ultimate competitor," Steichen said Monday when asked about Pittman's comments. "I think when really good players – they want the ball and they express their feelings sometimes. That’s part of this league, and we are going to do everything in our power to continue to get him the football moving forward.”

As Steichen and offensive coordinator Jim Bob Cooter spent last week devising a plan that could win, they wanted to correct the 55 passes they had Gardner Minshew throw in the loss to the Jaguars. It felt like a must to survive superhuman pass rusher Myles Garrett. But in shifting to 40 runs and 23 passes, they cost themselves a playmaker.

Pittman didn't see his first target until the 4:27 mark of the second quarter, or around when a team's scripted plays run out. He wasn't a part of the game plan like he had been in previous weeks, when he averaged 10 targets a game.

The Colts lost 10 points in the second quarter on a Garrett strip-sack in the end zone and a screen pass that fell incomplete and led to a punt. Steichen admitted Monday he could have thrown quick instead and suggested a slant.

A slant is the play Pittman took 75 yards for that go-ahead touchdown.

The Browns were not shadowing Pittman, instead keeping Pro Bowl cornerback Denzel Ward on the left side of the field. Against primarily man coverage, the Colts had the ability to draw up any matchup for Pittman they wanted.

On a day when the Colts got one catch for -6 yards from their tight ends, who were mainly extra linemen in the effort to stop Garrett, they could have used the steady chain-moving completions Pittman normally provides.

That role has treated Pittman nicely this season, allowing him to rank seventh in the NFL with 42 receptions entering Sunday, on 19 more targets than any other Colts player. He has not complained about that role until Sunday, when it disappeared and the Colts lost.

There's no denying Pittman wants to produce, both for his team and for a hefty contract that will come as a free agent next spring. We talked about that a couple of weeks ago, too. He has a wife named Kianna, a 2-year-old daughter named Mila and a newborn son named Michael Jr., and he thinks about them as he slips into that manic mode between the lines. This makes him like the rest of the players in his locker room.

Pittman wears his emotions on his sleeves. Ballard and others in the organization have grown to believe the Colts needed more of an edge after last season, back when Nick Foles lay on the ground as Kayvon Thibodaux performed snow angels and the offensive linemen did nothing about it.

For better or for worse, Pittman embodies a quote you often hear in this game:

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser.

He is many things -- multiple personalities even -- but he'll never let himself be that.

Contact Nate Atkins at natkins@indystar.com. Follow him on Twitter @NateAtkins_.

This article originally appeared on Indianapolis Star: Michael Pittman Jr.’s fierce competitiveness is what the Colts need