What every Big Ten football team wants for the holidays, what they are likely to get
‘Tis the season of holiday cheer and we’re spreading the goodwill here at Buckeyes Wire. We focus on Ohio State here at this free homer site, but we dabble into the entire league as well, and we thought it’d been fun to go through each Big Ten football program and identify the main thing on their wish list for the holidays, and what they are likely to get instead.
Remember, these are just for fun and it’s all just in jest, but we might also try and peer into the Christmas crystal ball a wee bit and see if we can predict some things as well.
And before we forget, Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and everything in-between your friends at Buckeyes Wire.
Dec. 30, 2019; Santa Clara, California, USA; General view of the Illinois Fighting Illini helmet during the second quarter against California Golden Bears at Levi’s Stadium. Stan Szeto-USA TODAY Sports
What the Illini want for the holidays
A bowl invite because of COVID-19 issues with another program, just like what fellow Big Ten member Rutgers got.
What they’ll get
A holiday free of the headache of making travel plans. The Illini won’t be as lucky as what the Scarlet Knights were. But hey, there’s nothing like home for the holidays, as they say.
Indiana coach Tom Allen talks to Indiana players before running onto the field against Michigan State at Spartan Stadium in East Lansing, Saturday, Nov. 14, 2020. Credit: USA TODAY Sports
What the Hoosiers want for the holidays
A stocking full of optimism after falling way short of expectations this past year.
What they’ll get
It’s Indiana. Who really knows what’s in that stocking? All we know is that it’ll continue to be hung in inconsistent spots on the mantle of the fireplace.
Nov 6, 2021; Evanston, Illinois, USA; Iowa Hawkeyes running back Tyler Goodson (15) and Iowa Hawkeyes quarterback Alex Padilla (8) celebrate after the touchdown in the first half against the Northwestern Wildcats at Ryan Field. Credit: Quinn Harris-USA TODAY Sports
What the Hawkeyes want for the holidays
A real, live offense to go with a defense that’s been pretty good, or a bushel of turnovers to make the offense look better.
What they’ll get
An unlimited number of quarterback sneaks to move the chains.
Maryland Terrapins quarterback Taulia Tagovailoa (3) is pursued by Ohio State Buckeyes defensive end Zach Harrison (9) during the first half of Saturday’s NCAA Division I football game at Ohio Stadium in Columbus on October 9, 2021. Credit: USA TODAY Sports
What the Terrapins want for the holidays
A year reprieve from injuries that continue to pile up year after year.
What they’ll get
A slew of nonconference wins, but few conference victories, just like we’ve seen year after year in College Park since joining the Big Ten.
Oct 2, 2021; Madison, Wisconsin, USA; Michigan Wolverines head coach Jim Harbaugh walks on the field during warmups prior to the game against the Wisconsin Badgers at Camp Randall Stadium. Credit: Jeff Hanisch-USA TODAY Sports
What the Wolverines want for the holidays
Why, a College Football national championship of course!
What they’ll get
A severe beatdown at the hands of Georgia in the Orange Bowl, with a dose of more losses to Ohio State upcoming. Oh, and a lump of coal.
Michigan State running back Kenneth Walker III (9) runs against Michigan defensive back R.J. Moten (6) during the second half at Spartan Stadium in East Lansing on Saturday, Oct. 30, 2021. Credit: USA TODAY Sports
What the Spartans want for the holidays
A New Years Six Bowl victory in the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl.
What they’ll get
As many Chick-fil-A chicken products as the team wants for a week and a stiff challenge from the Pittsburgh Panthers.
Nov 30, 2019; Minneapolis, MN, USA; Minnesota Golden Gophers head coach P.J. Fleck leads the Minnesota Golden Gophers onto the field before a game against the Wisconsin Badgers at TCF Bank Stadium. Credit: Jesse Johnson-USA TODAY Sports
What the Golden Gophers want for the holidays
A shiny, new boat to row — what else?
What they’ll get
The same boat with some broken oars that will sometimes row the team where it wants, while running aground at other times.
Nebraska Cornhuskers
Nov 6, 2021; Lincoln, Nebraska, USA; Nebraska Cornhuskers head coach Scott Frost (right) looks onto the field during the second quarter against the Ohio State Buckeyes at Memorial Stadium. Credit: Dylan Widger-USA TODAY Sports
What the Cornhuskers want for the holidays
After losing so many close games, some godforsaken wins where the team plays more than well enough to win.
What they’ll get
Same as always. The most difficult schedule any team from the West division can have. Someone within Lincoln needs to pray to the football gods, light some incense — anything.
Northwestern Wildcats
Sep 3, 2021; Evanston, Illinois, USA; Northwestern Wildcats head coach Pat Fitzgerald reacts after a play against the Michigan State Spartans during the fourth quarter at Ryan Field. Credit: Jon Durr-USA TODAY Sports
What the Wildcats want for the holidays
A Big Ten football championship, one that has been ever so close, yet ever so elusive.
What they’ll get
A popcorn tin of inconsistency. You have to love what the program stands for, but we’ve seen what’s usually under the tree for the often-overachieving squad.
Ohio State Buckeyes
Ohio State Buckeyes head coach Ryan Day looking for a call on a Purdue Boilermakers touchdown during the 2nd quarter of their NCAA game at Ohio Stadium in Columbus, Ohio on November 13, 2021. Credit: USA TODAY Sports
What the Buckeyes want for the holidays
A bounce-back year in 2022 that results in a rise back to the top of the Big Ten, with a College Football Playoff national championship in tow.
What they’ll get
Naughty or nice, OSU will make a run for all things it wants in 2022 with a young team returning to put Michigan back in its place and take on the rest of the college football world.
Penn State Nittany Lions
Oct 30, 2021; Columbus, Ohio, USA; Penn State Nittany Lions head coach James Franklin during the first quarter against the Ohio State Buckeyes at Ohio Stadium. Credit: Joseph Maiorana-USA TODAY Sports
What the Nittany Lions want for the holidays
To no longer play second fiddle to Ohio State.
What they’ll get
A seat in the third chair behind the Buckeyes, and now the Wolverines — maybe Michigan State too.
Purdue Boilermakers
The Purdue mascot waves to the Stead Family Children’s Hospital at the conclusion of the first quarter against Iowa on Saturday, Oct. 19, 2019, at Kinnick Stadium in Iowa City. Credit: USA TODAY Sports
What the Boilermakers want for the holidays
How about a West division title for starters?
What they’ll get
Some more wins against top opponents followed by just enough losses against subpar teams to keep the Boilers out of Indy.
Rutgers Scarlet Knights
Greg Schiano with Aron Cruickshank of Rutgers in the fourth quarter as Rutgers crushed Temple 61-14 in their season opener at SHI Stadium in Piscataway, NJ on September 4, 2021. Credit: USA TODAY Sports
What the Scarlet Knights want for the holidays
Well, I mean, Christmas did come early with an unexpected bowl invitation to the Gator Bowl, so …
What they’ll get
See above. While Nebraska has run into some bad luck, someone in Piscataway has fortune smiling on them.
Wisconsin Badgers
Wisconsin Badgers quarterback Graham Mertz (5) scores a touchdown in the second quarter against Army, Saturday, Oct. 16, 2021, at Camp Randall Stadium in Madison, Wis. Samantha Madar/USA TODAY NETWORK.
What the Badgers want for the holidays
A quarterback. One that can be consistent.
What they’ll get
A talented, yet inconsistent quarterback, but offensive linemen and running backs that grow on Christmas trees.
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