In two of the last three years, Wayne Rooney's desire to leave Man United has quietly been leaked to the press and systematically pushed until they give him an improved contract. Perhaps inspired by this maneuver, cue Yaya Toure's representative, Dimitri Seluk, who now says his client is very upset about a perceived birthday snub from the owner of Manchester City and is willing to leave because of it. This is insane and makes Rooney's agent look like a brilliant chess computer.
"He got a cake but when it was Roberto Carlos's birthday, the president of (Russian side) Anzhi (Makhachkala) gave him a Bugatti," Seluk told BBC Sport.
"I don't expect City to present Yaya with a Bugatti, we only asked that they shook his hand and said 'we congratulate you'. It is the minimum they must do when it is his birthday and the squad is all together.
"Of course Yaya is upset about this. It is his birthday and nobody said anything or shook his hand, so he does not feel comfortable," added Seluk, who said City sent a Twitter message wishing Toure a happy birthday.
"The most important thing is a human relationship and maybe this is his opportunity for Yaya to find that. If City don't respect him, then easy - Yaya will leave. No problem."
The only problem with Seluk's statement is that the club did celebrate Toure's birthday with a cake and an impromptu song on their flight to Abu Dhabi after winning the Premier League title (they also tweeted birthday wishes to him the same day and gave him a proper birthday cake later). And Yaya looked like he could not have cared less. He didn't even bother to close his computer and take his headphones off. Then again, maybe he just couldn't hear and thought the cake was to cheer up Samir Nasri for missing out on France's World Cup team.
But none of that matters. All Toure had to do was keep quiet like Rooney and let his representatives build the drama until City finally hand over a sweeter deal. Yaya decided to go rogue on Twitter, though. Read these tweets from bottom to top and you can see the exact moment his agent tied him up and took over his account.
Even the punctuation changes drastically from the first two tweets to the second two. Either Toure is suffering from a split personality disorder or this isn't actually about birthday wishes.
Seluk did tell the BBC that this isn't an attempt to get an improved contract. "Money is not important," he said. "He has enough money." So maybe this is actually a ploy to get City to reduce Toure's wages and let him play for free. Whatever the case, it's not about birthdays and Yaya Toure should strongly consider getting a new representative.
Here's Seluk trying to explain this nonsense on Sky Sports. This has to be a prank.
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