Martina Muller after scoring the match's only goal. (Getty)

Completing the German domination of the Champions Leagues this season, Wolfsburg beat Lyon 1-0 in the women's final at Stamford Bridge. This was a shocking result for two reasons: 1) Lyon had won the last two Champions League finals and over their last 120 matches, they had not lost in regular time. And 2) This was Wolfsburg's first time in the competition. Not a bad debut.

Any karma Lyon built up from offering to replay a French Cup match marred by a referee's mistake last week apparently wore off pretty quick. A handball in the second half gave Wolfsburg the deciding penalty and with the win, they completed the treble despite never winning a trophy before this season. Martina Muller, who has been with Wolfsburg since they were in the 2. Bundesliga in 2006, scored the goal that made history as Germany will now be the first nation to ever win both the men's and women's Champions Leagues in the same season.

Clearly the lesson here is that if you plan on having a football tournament anytime soon, don't invite the Germans.

(Getty)

The first ever all-German Champions League final is upon us and that means it's time for the third annuel DT Champions League final viewing companion. Wembley will host the match and though excitement in London has been dampened by the fact that all the English clubs in contention were eliminated long ago, the visiting Germans bring all the passion and leather pants necessary for a memorable game.

Of course, since Borussia Dortmund and Bayern Munich both play in the same domestic league, this is far from the first time they've met this season. Dominant Bayern won the Bundesliga with astounding ease, finishing 25 points ahead of second-place Dortmund in the table. But head to head, they've been much closer, with each of their league matches ending 1-1 — including their most recent earlier this month, which included Dortmund manager Jurgen Klopp and Bayern sporting director Matthias Sammer going nose to nose (or, more accurately, chin to nose). Bayern did, however, beat Dortmund 1-0 in the DFB Pokal quarterfinals and 2-1 in the German Super Cup match way back in August.

Anyway, you can find serious business previews and primers for this match pretty much everywhere else online and in print. So here we'll do it the Dirty Tackle way.

Matze Knop, the comedian and prolific impersonator of Bundesliga personalities who previously gave us "Luca Toni Numero Uno" (the greatest song of all time), is back with yet another tune about Borussia Dortmund manager Jurgen Klopp. Knop gave Baron Von Borsig's fist-pumper "Kloppo Du Popstar" an English twist ahead of the Champions League final at Wembley and so we have the video for "Kloppo You Rockstar" in all its odd glory above.

But if you want to celebrate Klopp with a smoother club jam, Knop has you covered there too. Here's "I want to be like Jurgen Klopp"...

Man City visited the New York Giants training facility on Wednesday in between attending a press conference for the club's new MLS venture and flying out to St. Louis for the first of their two post-season friendlies against Chelsea. During the tour, Giants quarterback Eli Manning threw a few passes to Joe Hart and James Milner, both of whom showed soft hands.

Upon making his catch, Milner was given an added surprise from long snapper Zak Deossie which might have required a change of underpants.

Here's a longer look at the visit in which the Giants players tell their guests how they always play with them in FIFA, Carlos Tevez has no idea what they're saying and the Giants' VP of communications calls Joe Hart "Joel Hart."

Tony Pulis with the Olympic torch in May 2012. (Getty)

Tony Pulis' second spell as Stoke City manager has come to an end following a disappointing season in which the club finished 13th in the Premier League. After his initial three years with Stoke between 2002 and 2005, Pulis returned in the summer of 2006. He won promotion to the Premier League and eventually led Stoke to their first ever FA Cup final in 2011 and a spot in the Europa League. The baseball cap and tracksuit wearing 55-year-old, who physically fought one of his own players in 2009, ultimately didn't reach the heights expected of him with the money he was able to spend. So now he's gone.

But on his way out the door, he took a cue from Roberto Mancini's full-page ad in the Manchester Evening News saying goodbye to Man City supporters last weekend and penned a farewell letter to Stoke fans that ran in a local paper.

From The Sentinel:

I'D like to start by thanking every single one of you who have made the last decade so special for me at Stoke City.

I am grateful for this

This might be the easiest penalty call of all time. A player in green gathers a rebound off the post with his back to the goal. A player in red then clumsily falls into him from behind, sending them both to ground. With the player in green sitting over the ball, red gets up and starts kicking him. Two of his teammates then join in and suddenly they're kicking the guy like he robbed someone's grandmother.

The penalty was awarded, but it appears no one was booked for the attack. Probably because the referee didn't want them to gang up on him next.

This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

Video via Bola Nas Costas

(Reuters)

Manchester City Football Club have announced that they have purchased Major League Soccer for an undisclosed sum. This comes days after it was revealed that the Premier League club owned by Sheikh Mansour will co-own MLS's 20th franchise, New York City FC, which will begin play in 2015. And according to Man City, the decision to buy the whole league arose from their desire to eliminate its tight salary cap.

"We're very excited about the NYCFC project and so we've wasted no time in working towards building the team," Man City CEO Ferran Soriano told reporters. "But then we found out about this 'salary cap' that is already prohibiting us from signing all the players we want and giving them all the money we want to give them. So we asked our partners at the New York Yankees what it was and they had no idea either. I mean, it's a nonsense phrase like 'football bat' or 'Champions League winner Roberto Mancini.' So we decided to just buy the whole league and now it's gone."

Though Man City

One of Real Madrid's sponsors decided it would be a fun idea to use the team's bus as a regular city bus for a day, picking up random passengers and delivering them to their destination in the comfort and luxury usually reserved for professional footballers. And so they did.

The unmistakable bus pulled up to a stop with hidden cameras filming and loaded up the random passengers, who were treated to a video message from Alvaro Arbeloa (which would surely excite anyone) and goodie bags upon arrival at their destination.

The one fishy element to the endeavor is the fact that the sponsor that ran organized the scheme, Nivea, did it to advertise their men's line and they just so happened to target a stop devoid of women. Could this have been more meticulously set up than they want you to think? Certainly not.