On Steve Spurrier’s staff, fat, sloppy, bachelor smokers need not apply


So, you want to be an assistant football coach?

Well, Steve Spurrier has laid out specific criteria to be a member of his staff and if you're sporting a nicotine patch or recently applied to be on the television show "The Biggest Loser" you probably shouldn't apply.

Josh Kendall, Gamecocks beat writer for The State, tweeted some of Spurrier's criteria for adding assistant coaches to his staff. No. 2 on the list: "Non-smokers." Why? "Because it's stupid. Smoking is stupid." Spurrier also said he doesn't want "fat, sloppy guys" on staff, and that he preferred married coaches over single ones.

While the Ol' Ball Coach's candor is refreshingly honest and good for a laugh, his hiring practices (as he described them Tuesday) are also probably illegal. We'd like to thank our friends at saturdaydownsouth.com for confirming this:

"… South Carolina law forbids the University from making employment decisions based on 'familial status,' and the school's own non-discrimination policy states hiring cannot be based 'on the basis of personal characteristics that are not relevant to individual's abilities, qualifications, or job performance.' Actually, this standard arguably forbids all of Spurrier's conditions."

Spurrier probably isn't the only coach to have such "rules" when looking at assistant coaches, but he's sure the first to be so vocal about them. Unfortunately for South Carolina, every overweight, unmarried smoker that Spurrier has ever passed over may now have a discrimination claim against the school.

And really, can Spurrier be so choosy when the above picture was snapped of him last year? Perhaps that's why he's taking such a hard stance on sloppiness now considering he's gotten himself into better shape.