Author Rachel Hollis on facing divorce during the pandemic: ‘This is a lot of people’s story in 2020’
Rachel Hollis, author and motivational speaker, talks facing divorce among the other heartache brought on by the pandemic, and she’s not alone. “I think that this is a lot of people's story and in 2020. The reality is breakups and divorce are on the rise,” Hollis shares, “We slowed down, and you didn't have those distractions, and you didn't have the things that were keeping you from looking at the parts that weren't working…and that certainly was the case for us.” Hollis tells Yahoo Life that when the pandemic hit, like for many, relationships became strained. “When we went into quarantine here in Texas, in March, I was editing a book that I had already written. And while I was in the edit process, my marriage ended.” she explains. “I just started thinking about, if I was going to bring out a book in 2020, I really wanted to make sure that I was talking about what 2020 felt like for us.” In her latest book, Didn’t See That Coming, Hollis shares about her experience going through a break up in the middle of a global pandemic, and offers support for others facing grief and loss. “This is my version of hardship, and I feel like all over the world, people have their version of this. People have lost jobs, they've lost businesses, they've lost people that they love, maybe they're going through a breakup. Either because of COVID we've experienced pain this year, or just because life is sometimes painful,” Hollis says. “So I want to keep showing up even when it's hard and I want to speak truthfully about what it feels like.”
Video Transcript
RACHEL HOLLIS: This is a lot of people's story in 2020. The reality is breakups and divorce are on the rise. It's grown by 37% inside of quarantine. You didn't have those distractions, and you didn't have the things that were keeping you from looking at the parts that weren't working.
I'm Rachel Hollis. I just released a new book called "Didn't See That Coming" about how to navigate hard seasons. When we went into quarantine here in Texas in March, I was editing a book that I had already written. And while I was in the edit process, my marriage ended. In the past, I would have absolutely just pretended that this all didn't hurt. And I'm really proud of the fact that in this year, the hardest year of my life, I have allowed myself to feel the pain.
And it's one of the best pieces of advice I could offer to people in this time is if you're angry, allow yourself to be angry. And if you're sad, let yourself cry. This is my version of hardship, and I feel like all over the world people have their version of this. People have lost jobs. They've lost businesses. They've lost people that they love. Maybe they're going through a breakup. Either because of COVID, we've experienced pain this year, or just because life is sometimes painful. And I want to speak truthfully about what it feels like. If I was gonna bring out a book in 2020, I really wanted to make sure that I was talking about what 2020 felt like for us.
While there is no clear answer for how to navigate a global pandemic in 2020, there are tools and pieces of advice and wisdom collected over time about how to deal with the side effects. How do you manage anxiety? How do you manage your fear? What do you do if you're grieving? And I think that there are a lot of people right now who are trying to rush as fast as they can through this process and hope that it's gonna go away.
It cannot wait until 2021 as if we're gonna, like, snap our fingers on December 31 and all of our problems are going to go away. They are going to be here. And so it's important that we are taking control of the only thing we have ever been in control of, which is ourselves. You know, we see these movies with superheroes and warriors with, like, swords, and they're fighting, and we have in our idea that that's what bravery looks like. And I think that bravery looks, for so many people, like just standing back up.
