5 things Ben Simmons could've been saying with his eye-emoji tweet to LeBron

Dan Devine
The emoji that launched a thousand heart palpitations in the City of Brotherly Love. (Screencap via @BenSimmons25)
The emoji that launched a thousand heart palpitations in the City of Brotherly Love. (Screencap via @BenSimmons25)
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1. “Hey, man. Saw that Instagram photo of you on the boat. Love the shorts. Where’d you get them? Dope pic, bro. For real.”

2. “Hey, man. Saw that you signed J.J. Redick up to do a podcast on Uninterrupted. Big moves, dude. Super happy for you and your continually growing entertainment empire. What do you think about me doing a podcast, but instead of it just being me talking with other NBA dudes about NBA stuff, it’s me and Dario and Furkan and Stauskas playing Dungeons and Dragons together, like ‘The Adventure Zone?’ Might open Uninterrupted up to a whole new audience. Think about it, OK? For real.”

3. “Hey, man. Saw the IG post about Lonzo. Hilarious, bro. Can’t wait to dunk on him so hard that his dad runs out onto the court, like Joel said I should. Do you think he could really get on the court? I know you’ve got some experience with that. It seems really bad! I mean, the joke is funny, but the idea of that dude running up on me like I’m The Miz is not especially appealing. Maybe we should delete those tweets? I don’t know, man, I just had a cold brew and my head’s kind of racing right now. I’ll think about it some more later. But seriously, dope vid. For real.”

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4. “Hey, man. Saw those stories about how close you guys were to getting Paul George and Jimmy Butler, except that you, like, had no GM or whatever? That seems super weird, and maybe hard to believe? I mean, obviously, you’d know better than me, but yeah, from the outside, it looks super weird. Then again, not having a GM for free agency seems super weird, too, and that happened, so I guess this could have happened, too. Either way, just wanted to let you know I saw it, and I was thinking of you. For real.”

5. “Hey, man. Just wanted to make sure everybody in the world could see me letting you, a player with whom I’ve recently worked out and spent time, and with whom I share an agent, know that I’m looking out for you one day after reports began to circulate that you’re frustrated with the Cavs’ offseason, and several hours after the publication of a story suggesting there might be a match between you and my Philadelphia 76ers when you hit free agency next summer. Just wanted to let you know I’m keeping my eyes open, seeing how everything’s playing out. No big deal. I’m sure nobody’s even taking notice of it.”

“… Oh. Wow. For real.”

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Dan Devine is an editor for Ball Don’t Lie on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at devine@yahoo-inc.com or follow him on Twitter!