31 Dating Profiles So Horribly Cringe-Worthy, I Can't Believe Someone Actually Posted Them

Look, making a dating profile is hard. I get it. I'm not here to shame good people just trying their best. But every once in a while, a profile is SO bad that it actually is disturbing, offensive, or just plain combative. Here are 31 examples people actually posted.

1.I will never get why some men write an entire rant in their bio and think it's gonna get them matches???

A rant about "fuck tinder" and "u girls match with the biggest jackass that treat u girls like fucking shit and u give them the world well the good guys get fucking kicked to the curb such bull fucking shit"
u/stinky-twink / Via

2."Ur all tramps" is the perfect way to get women to date you.

  u/Spent2longonthis / Via
u/Spent2longonthis / Via

3.I am actually in awe of how offensive this first line is.

"No single moms, if u were a catch he wouldn't have thrown u and the kids back" with laughing emoji
u/its_andi_with_an_i / Via

4.The hatred toward single moms is so disgusting.

"Let me guess you're 25 w/3 kids and now you've had your fun, you want a real man to settle down with and take care of you and your kids because you let a loser nut inside of you" and "Stop saying you're thick, you're obese"
u/Tired-poppunk / Via

5.This guy isn't even being subtle about hating women.

Women are a joke, they are worst creatures on planet earth, ya'll just play games and treat the good decent guys like s***; there are no good women around anymore
u/OverlordTankFromCnC / Via

6.Like...if you hate women so much, why are you dating them?

Everything isn't about you, the world doesn't revolve around you, stop taking selfies and videos at the gym, so you're very pretty, but your so ugly on the inside; you complain that men are shallow and you want a nice guy — girl please
u/mlwirtjes / Via

7.I'm just here laughing at his hatred for single women 30 and older, when he himself is 32.

You are probably nearing 30 w/ or w/o some one else's kids and now you want to date and settle down with a "real man"; what do you bring to the table? If the answer is your kids, your looks or holiday wishes go pound sand
u/Intergalactic-Kiwi / Via

8.This list of requirements is actually wild — it's not a job interview.

Looking for my lovely ever after MUST be blonde or brunette, be fit and toned, go to the gym 4x weekly, be 5'4 to 5'11, be available at all times, give good head, be able to cook and clean, earn more than $70K, not interested in BBWs or single moms
u/evenREPTARisnakey / Via

9.As is this one.

Long hair, big tits, likes anal, is not fat, is voting for Biden, likes NBA, supports lgbtq+, uses air freshener in bathroom, good credit score, says she loves me every day, nice feet with straight toes, can cook, and more requirements
u/Prof_RPNT / Via

10."If ur lucky" — I'm thinking the only lucky person in this situation is the one who dodges a bullet by swiping left on you.

We either friends or fuck buddies, if ur lucky can turn into something serious, I'm dead ass tired of BS and putting forth effort where I get nothing back; good guys get fucked over way to many times
u/Pretend_Dependent_60 / Via

11.Ah yes, a nice guy who (checks notes) uses the word "pussy" and decides he doesn't want to settle down because he just wants to live. Definitely not a fuckboy in disguise!

Women don't like nice guys and I am too nice for my own good, I'm not going through 300 hours of therapy for 20 minutes of pussy, not looking to settle or marry, I just wanna live and see where it takes me
u/heimatlosenfriedhof / Via

12.Started off strong with the first sentence, then immediately shot himself in the foot.

Actions speak louder than words, most y'all just wanna be thots anyways, if you selling pussy or pics and videos of that nature you a bum do better
u/its_andi_with_an_i / Via

13.It's not just men. I don't know why this woman thought "Tinder keeps giving me uglies" was a good thing to write in her bio.

This app is a joke, Tinder keeps giving me uglies, prolly not interested but shoot your shot; musts: good teeth, at least 6'0, swaggy, employed
u/[deleted] / Via

14.This woman straight-up told people *not* to match with her?

No hook-ups, no sending nudes, no you can't have my Snapchat, don't fuck with me, no, i don't wanna follow you on IG, don't match with me, you'll get your feelings hurt and call me a bitch and then I'll show you the real bitch
u/CarterMT099 / Via

15.This whole profile is just a big YIKES.

Masks are lame, tattoos are cool, bacon is gross, if you're vaccinated boy bye, this vagina is not for China
u/detBittenbinder23 / Via

16.Ever wondered what Rupi Kaur would sound like as a Nice Guy?

Poem: When I speak to women in bars, I say thinks like 'Come here, let me cover you with all my kindness'; usually they turn to one of my other friends who are all perverts and they end up marrying
u/[deleted] / Via

17.There might be a *reason* you're in the friend zone.

So women love being treated like shit right — well, my parents taught me to be a nice decent being, so if you want to be treated like shit, fuck off outta here, if you gonna friendzone me u can fuck off too; hopefully there's some normal people out there
u/airneanach / Via

18.I've stared at this for so long scratching my head. What does "I'm that dude your ex's mom warned him about" even mean?? Like, he's saying your hypothetical ex was into him? Or just saying he was a bully on the schoolyard and your hypothetical ex's mom told your hypothetical ex to stay away from him because he was a creep? How is that alluring?

Will unmatch after 24 hours of silence, I'm that dude your ex's mom warned him about; I fall for short goofy girls who are spontaneous, and of course boobs
u/catsnothats / Via

19.But this woman who "doesn't date outside her race" might take the cake.

i luv hunting fishing camping and long walks on the beach and in the rain and i dont date outside my race if ur married and not white dont hit me up
u/JuanDomingoPeron / Via

20."Must hold conservative core values" and also be "open minded"?? I'm confused.

Don't be fat, cannot be taller than 5'8, must weigh less than 130 lbs and earn at least $80K, no feminist qualities, must hold conservative core values and be open minded, don't fucking argue w/me I'm not your daddy, you're paying for the first date
u/kabukistar / Via

21.This is not your soapbox to be bigoted; it's a dating app.

Fuck all you fake profile non responding bitches on here; black lives dont matter, all lives matter you racist fucks; im not racist or a woman hater; dont say dtf if your really not you lying wannabe sluts
u/ghoozi / Via

22.Why are you ranting about snowflakes on Tinder?

I can cook 2 kinds of spaghetti and I look like shit; I don't give a flying fuck about your Instagram nor followers — it's not a fucking personality trait; was that too harsh? Maybe just dont be such a special snowflake, I'm really nice, I swear
u/My_Name_Is_Ana / Via

23.Sir, this is a Wendy's.

I'm the kind of guy you friend zone, the kind you replace for someone else who doesn't deserve you; the reason I'm single is because I've been cheated on or left; all I ever did was love, was care, was make sure you were happy; i just want to be happy too
u/isyourBBQcanceled / Via

24.Well...thank god chivalry still exists.

I'm 20 and have never had the attention of a real women before, never dated, cishet white male and avid gamer; if you're looking for man who treat u like shit, you're stupid as fuck; I offer genuine love, won't ask for nudes 'cause chivalry still exists
u/trashtina666 / Via

25.I hope this person is trolling, but even if they are, they sound like a POS.

I'm used to having my way w/women, so allow me to speak on behalf of every man with options: regardless of how good you think you look, there's always something newer, faster and better with less mileage, and your looks are a rapidly depreciating currency
u/EnvironmentalPlum8 / Via

26.This is such an effective bio, because I immediately know whether I want to meet this person. The answer, if you were wondering, is absolutely no way in hell.

I'm extremely picky and busy so please don't get down on yourself if I don't respond to your "hey there"; I've lived everywhere you haven't, people who've known for 10+ years are still trying to figure me out
u/PracticalSnail / Via

27.You know what? She did make it easy, I'll give that to her.

I'm gonna make this easy: I like Trump; criteria for you: own waterfront property, be independently wealthy, and no baby mama drama, be willing to wash and clean my vehicle regularly, treat me to massage, hair and nail appts
u/[deleted] / Via

28.I...have no words.

More of a beast than a beauty but I'll grind your cervix into a paste (w/ an "innocent" halo emoji)
u/Kerrypurple / Via

29.Ladies, if you see a bio like

Looking for something real, w/a checklist: does she hush in front of my friends, ask for my permission to do things, cook and clean "unpromted," forgo hanging out with her friends, give sex regardless of how she feels, delete her social media
u/[deleted] / Via

30.I am once again asking men who clearly hate women to stop dating women.

This app fuels the female egotistical and narcissistic nature by giving them selfie culture and a smorgasbord of cock to choose from; most females on here having nothing to offer but depreciating looks and worn-out, disease ridden vaginas
u/avajax / Via

31.And finally, here's a reallly old-fashioned dating profile. Not only because of its offensive, outdated values, but because it's literally printed on paper.

A typed page from SWM, 50, seeking white, Asian, Hispanic, "Europeen or Mid Eastern female": no whores/sluts, can't have had sex with a black person or have any male friends, preferably a virgin, will do as asked when asked, take lie detector every 6 mos
u/phisigtheduck / Via

What's the worst thing you've seen on a dating profile? Let us know in the comments!