2023 NFL Power Rankings: Preseason edition (including the Bills)

We had a football game, everybody. We made it.

While the Hall of Fame Game kicked off the preseason, the remaining 30 teams begin action this Thursday where we will all get a glimpse into what September will hold. Among that faction in the Buffalo Bills, who face the Indianapolis Colts on Saturday.

While there are few guarantees when it comes to the NFL, there are two things that are certain- some teams are good, some teams stink, and some are a mediocre blend of both. Where does your team fall amongst those three categories?

Read through to find out Touchdown Wire’s first preseason power rankings of 2023:

32. Arizona Cardinals

Greg Dortch is going to be a focal point of the Cardinals offense. And he’s going to be catching passes from Colt McCoy, David Blough, Clayton Tune, or a combination of all three. Let’s just thank our respective lords above that we don’t have to sit through watching the Cardinals play in any primetime games this season, as such an act would qualify as a crime. 

31. Las Vegas Raiders

Kudos to Josh McDaniels and Mark Davis for reading one of my favorite books, The Idiot’s Guide on How To Build An NFL Roster. Derek Carr is responsible for whatever relevance the Raiders have had over the last two decades, and how did they thank him? By making him the scapegoat in a situation that should have fallen on a head coach who has had zero success with anyone not named Tom Brady. If Jimmy Garoppolo somehow leads the Raiders to wins, we must seriously look into whatever deal he made with the devil in order to secure success wherever he goes. 

30. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Having to choose between Baker Mayfield or Kyle Trask is like choosing between getting a root canal or a colonoscopy, only Todd Bowles is your doctor for either scenario, so you’re just laying there praying for the sweet release of death. Mike Evans and Chris Godwin are great, but when Brucie from The Longest Yard is responsible for getting them the ball, they can only make so much of an impact. 

29. Los Angeles Rams

Outside of Matthew Stafford, Cooper Kupp, and Aaron Donald, the Rams are relying on 50 Indeed applicants. Puka Nacua could be fun as a gadget receiver, but outside of him? There is nothing to marvel at. Unless, of course, you’re the type of person who likes watching planes crash or trains wreck, then the Los Angeles Rams are the team for you. They are starting men named Russ Yeast, Christian Rozeboom, and not-the-rapper Bobby Brown. Plus, the offensive line still stinks and we don’t know if Stafford’s arm is anything more than a limp piece of silly string. 

28. Indianapolis Colts

I appreciate that the Colts have a clear direction in mind- invest in athletes that are scheme fits and building blocks for the future. What I don’t appreciate is that their owner seems to have gotten his hands on Aaron Rodgers’ bag labeled “Definitely not MDMA” and went on to bury running backs on the app formerly known as Twitter. If Jonathan Taylor has played his final down as a Colt, their ceiling and floor both go down. They weren’t going to be a playoff team with him, but they are certainly more dangerous with him on the field. 

27. Tennessee Titans

Quite frankly, I couldn’t care less that DeAndre Hopkins signed with the Titans. They’re not a team who is a receiver away from being good. Their offensive line will have three new starters, their pass defense was near the bottom of the league in DVOA, and it looks like they’ll be starting Will Levis at some point, who is best described as what would happen if Carson Wentz got hit in the head and thought he was Josh Allen. Tennessee’s front seven is nasty, and Mike Vrabel raises their floor, but they are still far too reliant on Derrick Henry offensively for me to take them seriously. 

26. New England Patriots

I’m trying to find the best analogy for how boring and bland the Patriots are, and plain Cheerios with no milk is the best I could do. What substance does this team have? A limited quarterback whose closest thing to a No. 1 receiver is the JuJu Smith-Schuster or a vastly overpaid DaVante Parker? The offense is going to lean heavily on the run game and short passes, which is about as fun and explosive as a lullaby. The defense will be good, as Patriots defenses usually are, but this team has consistently been the most boring in football since TB12 took his talents to Tampa.

25. Houston Texans

The Texans sneakily have a pretty solid roster. Their secondary is very good on paper. Derek Stingley was good when he was healthy in 2022, Jalen Pitre is now paired with Jimmy Ward, who followed DeMeco Ryans over from San Francisco. They have two good tackles and a good committee of running backs, as well. Their only glaring weakness is that the USA Today NFL staff could all earn roster spots as receivers. Tank Dell could be a fun player, but he’s predominantly a slot guy. John Metchie could have a good season, and it’s lovely to see him back after his leukemia battle. Besides that, though, all that remains is Nico Collins, 74 year-old Robert Woods, Noah Brown, and Xavier Hutchinson. This is a year for laying foundation in Houston, but they’ll be a tough out every week.

24. Denver Broncos

Of course, this all depends on how the lord’s favorite player, Russell Wilson looks under Sean Payton. If all goes well, Denver could be a playoff team. If all fails, Broncos fans might superglue Russell Wilson to a church pew every Sunday so they don’t have to watch him play football ever again. The true result is likely in the middle, where the Broncos are a middle-of-the-pack team that will keep games competitive and lean on the run game rather than trusting Russ to cook anything palatable. 

23. Green Bay Packers

“We’ll see how Jordan Love looks” may as well be the new rally cry of the Packers. Truthfully, it’s hard to place them any higher or lower until we see him get meaningful live reps. Matt LaFleur is too good of a coach to put them lower, though. 

22. Minnesota Vikings

The Vikings’ offense will remain fun with Kirk Cousins and Justin Jefferson still tormenting defenses, along with the added threat of Jordan Addison joining the fray. However, two things prevent me from seeing Minnesota as a playoff contender- they aren’t winning 11 one-score games again, and their defense is still horrid. Brian Flores may help the issue, but this isn’t a one-year fix. Even in an up-in-the-air division, I think the Vikings take a step back. 

21. Atlanta Falcons

I’m going to get really tired of saying “I love the Falcons’ roster.” That’s just a polite way of saying “Yeah, your quarterback stinks.” There will be several teams who get this treatment, and the Falcons are their emperor. Atlanta did a lot of genuinely good things for their roster this offseason. They added Jessie Bates, Calais Campbell, and Kaden Elliss via free agency, and traded for Jeff Okudah from Detroit. Safety Richie Grant should also take a step forward, and running ba- sorry- Offensive weapon Bijan Robinson will be a blast to watch. All that said, their quarterback does nothing for me. Desmond Ridder isn’t keeping defensive coordinators up at night, and if your quarterback doesn’t scare anyone, that takes your team down a peg.

20. New York Giants

I’ve been informed that I, in fact, cannot just copy and paste what I said about the Falcons and also say it about the Giants, so here we are. Paying Daniel Jones was a mistake. $40 million per year is roughly $2.66 million for every touchdown he threw in 2022. Their schedule will also be more difficult than last season and I don’t love their ability, or lack thereof, to beat good teams. They beat two teams with winning records in 2022, and got destroyed both times they faced an Eagles team that actually cared about winning the game. I can’t be bothered to take the Giants seriously as a team that will continue their success from 2022. Some teams are just one-hit wonders. 

19. Chicago Bears

The Bears feel like a team that will take a step forward. They did all the right things in the offseason, notably adding D.J. Moore to a receiving group that previously consisted of three mops and a drawing of Muhsin Muhammed. They added both Tremaine Edmunds and T.J. Edwards to clean up the middle of the field, and most recently signed Yannick Ngakoue to be their predominant edge rusher. It all comes down to Justin Fields becoming a more efficient passer. With a bolstered group of receivers, and improved offensive line, that leap is justifiably expected. 

18. New Orleans Saints

The Saints play in a bad division, and they have the best quarterback in that bad division, so they’ll be in the wild-card race. That said, I don’t love anything else about their roster. All of their best defensive players are old, Alvin Kamara is gone for the first three games, and if anyone tries to talk to me about Michael Thomas, I will happily walk into the sea. A meh roster with a bottom three head coach in the league. Everyone is overhyping a Saints team that is trying to trick themselves into thinking they can be something. 

17. Washington Commanders

Get used to me being higher than most on the Washington Commanders. Their defense was one of the best in the league last season even with Chase Young missing significant time. The weapons they have offensively are criminally underrated in Terry McLaurin and Jahan Dotson, and Sam Howell gets more hate than Nickelback for whatever reason. Howell has a lot to prove after being overlooked in the 2022 NFL Draft, and I expect him to make a lot of people eat their words. Speaking of words, mark these ones — the Commanders will be a playoff team in 2023. 

16. Cleveland Browns

Something something something if Deshaun Watson returns to his former self. That pretty much sums up the Browns. Here comes that phrase I’m tired of saying — their roster is very good, it all depends on their quarterback. However, if they fail to make any noise, Kevin Stefanski’s seat will be red hot. 

15. Carolina Panthers

Carolina has welcomed back its wayward son, Frank Reich. After 2022 brought the Panthers nothing but noise and confusion, they are hoping 2023 gives them a glimpse behind any sort of illusion to have them soaring ever higher. Along with having the NFC South’s best head coach, they also have the best defensive coordinator in the division after Ejiro Evero. Evero’s arrival does bring a scheme switch to a 3-4 base, but the personnel they have is more than capable of making it work. All of this is capped off and centered around their No. 1 overall pick, Bryce Young, who is surrounded by a coaching staff with a lot of quarterback experience. I like what the Panthers are building, and spoiler alert, they are my pick to win the NFC South.

14. Detroit Lions

If they could stop gambling for five minutes, I’d tell you what I enjoy about the Lions. For starters, we all love Dan Campbell. He’s what would happen if Stone Cold Steve Austin became an NFL head coach. As a matter of fact, if the motto for the 2023 Detroit Lions isn’t “Show up, raise hell, leave,” then a ginormous cash grab opportunity for t-shirts is being lost. Regardless, their offensive line is amongst the best in football, and the likes of Jahmyr Gibbs and Amon-Ra St. Brown are going to turn games into track meets. The secondary was the worst unit for Detroit in 2022, and all they did to fix that was sign all of the hottest available defensive backs in Cam Sutton, Emmanuel Mosely, and C.J. Gardner-Johnson. I like the direction of the Lions. We’ll see how they do with actual expectations.

13. Dallas Cowboys

Dallas terrifies me, and not in a good way. They fired Kellen Moore. Oh no. They hired Brian Schottenheimer. Oh no. And Mike McCarthy will be calling the offense. Merciful heavens. Now, there are some aspects of the Cowboys to be optimistic about. Micah Parsons is good, I don’t know if anyone has told you that yet. They also acquired Brandin Cooks from Houston to be their burner while CeeDee Lamb can eat defenses in the intermediate game.

All of the aforementioned issues, as well as Tony Pollard’s timetable for return being unknown, and Zach Martin is a very angry lad who wants paid and is in the midst of a holdout. All of that, combined with the fact that the last time the Cowboys had three consecutive postseason appearances was 1994-96, you can say I’m a little skeptical about what 2023 could have in store.

12. Seattle Seahawks

The Seahawks were the walking embodiment of the Kermit sipping tea GIF in 2022. Everyone, myself included, expected them to be terrible after trading Russell Wilson to Denver, when, really, the opposite became reality. The Broncos went 5-12, the Seahawks went to the playoffs riding the right arm of Geno Smith, whose career resurgence was enough to make grown men think that if they trained hard enough for a year, they could qualify for an Olympic event. With the additions of Jaxon Smith-Ngjiba and Devon Witherspoon to two units that were already very good, the Seahawks should be right back in the Wildcard once again, and maybe even competing for the NFC West title.

11. Baltimore Ravens

It’s a tell-tale sign of how horrid Lamar Jackson’s receivers have been when fans treat 30 year-old Odell Beckham Jr like the Ravens just signed Randy Moss and Jerry Rice rolled into one. I love what the Ravens have, and I think Todd Monken’s offense will be a welcome change to the stale attack of Greg Roman, but I’ll echo what I said about the Chargers and say it about Baltimore- they need to stay healthy. I can’t bank on Lamar, Odell, and Rashod Bateman all staying healthy all season. John Harbaugh will get the best out of whomever they have, but the Ravens have to have a shorter injury report to have any real shot at a Super Bowl run.

10. Miami Dolphins

Jalen Ramsey getting hurt puts a big damper on things for the Dolphins, but I still like the pieces they have for Vic Fangio’s system, especially their defensive front of Christian Wilkins, Zach Sieler, Bradley Chubb, and Jaelan Phillips. My question is will the offense replicate what they did last season? Yes, they are going to be very fast again, but how will they counter when teams attack them like the Chargers and 49ers both did last season? Plus, can Tua Tagovailoa stay healthy, and can he continue to be that proficient? And how will the Dolphins fare against the still-great Bills and the expected-to-be-much-better Jets? I think they take bronze in that division, but will still be a likely Wildcard team.

9. Los Angeles Chargers

I’m going to regret this so bad. That sentence alone sums up the Chargers. Any sort of belief in them is rather unjustifiable. They blew a 27-0 lead in the Wildcard round to the Jaguars, and somehow Brandon Staley kept his job. The only reason for the optimism, of course, is Justin Herbert. That quiet killer the Chargers have at quarterback keeps me, and several others, drinking the Kool-Aid one more time. Kellen Moore should take the lid off the offense a bit more than Joe Lombardi did, and the weapons he has at his disposal are still reliable. The Chargers just need to stay healthy. Several key players missed significant time with injury in 2022.  The word “if” is a big one for the Chargers, but their potential is certainly great. 

8. New York Jets

The Jets won seven games last season with human tackling dummy Mike White and Cougar alum cougar-hunter Zach Wilson as their primary quarterbacks. Adding a four-time MVP into the mix will certainly go a long way. The defense is astounding and their young stars have potential to get even better. The only thing that would keep the Jets out of the playoffs would be distractions. Verbally jousting with Sean Payton because he said something correct about Nathaniel Hackett isn’t what this team should be doing. If they keep their mouths shut and heads down, they’ll be a force. If they get distracted by outside noise, well we know the Jets. 

7. Pittsburgh Steelers

Mike Tomlin should get a Nobel Prize for somehow scraping together nine wins after a slow start and quarterback change mid-season. With a young cast of stars who now have a full season and another offseason together, combined with the new talent that was added to the roster, I really like the Steelers in 2023. Kenny Pickett has looked fantastic in camp. His confidence, poise, and rapport are all night-and-day different for the better. The weapons he has at his disposal, along with an improved offensive line and a defense that features three All-Pros, Pittsburgh is going to win a lot of games. 

6. Jacksonville Jaguars

Trevor Lawrence is my preseason MVP pick, I’ll get that out of the way now. With Calvin Ridley, Evan Engram, and Christian Kirk leading a really deep group of receiving threats, it’ll be a pleasure to watch Goldilocks and the three Jags go to work offensively. Not to mention Travis Etienne and Jamal Agnew, who will have their own roles offensively, and the mad hatter, Doug Pederson calling the offense as he does so well. The secondary does worry me a bit. Outside of Andre Cisco, there isn’t anyone I love, but their front seven is full of guys that can all be called upon evenly, and all of them find ways to make plays. Jacksonville is the hipster pick to make it to the Super Bowl, and it would not shock me in the least if they pulled it off. 

5. San Francisco 49ers

Some will say that the 49ers should be higher, but my top four is reserved for teams whose quarterbacks I can rely on. For the 49ers, I can rely on everything else, but when you have questions about the most important position in sports? Yeah, I’m not putting you above Jalen Hurts and Josh Allen. Sorry. The rest of their roster is terrific, though. An already-loaded defense added Javon Hargrave in the middle of the defensive line. Fred Warner is the best off-ball linebacker in football, and their offense is basically the NFC Pro Bowl team. Even then, until the 49ers go into a season knowing they have a guy at quarterback, they won’t win a Super Bowl. 

4. Buffalo Bills

Last year was supposed to be the Bills’ year. It looked like the Chiefs were going to go through a little bit of a reload, they have who many believe to be the second best quarterback in football in Josh Allen, and a defense that added Von Miller. Unfortunately, injuries, weather, the Damar Hamlin incident- all of these things became obstacles that were difficult to overcome. And once Von Miller was lost for the season, none of the Bills’ pass rushers could do anything that signified they’d be a Super Bowl team.

This year, though, they are still strong. They’ll get Von Miller back in the back half of the season and try to put together a run at a championship. One of two things will happen for Buffalo. We’ll all look back at the Stefon Diggs minicamp ordeal and laugh after they hoist the Lombardi, or serious questions will be asked about if Sean McDermott is the right guy at head coach. 

3. Philadelphia Eagles

The Eagles were within a nose hair of possibly winning the Super Bowl, but fell just short. The Eagles lost the aforementioned Javon Hargrave and C.J. Garnder-Johnson in free agency, but they added Terrell Edmunds and half of the University of Georgia to make up for it. The Eagles are the best team in the NFC until proven otherwise, and with how top-heavy the conference is, there are only a select few that will threaten to take their crown.

2. Cincinnati Bengals

All of Ohio collectively held its breath when Joe Burrow hobbled off the field, and was eventually carted off with what was later revealed to be a calf strain. For the Bengals’ sake, hopefully their start quarterback doesn’t miss any regular season games. The Bengals’ did lose some talent from the last two seasons. Vonn Bell and Jessie Bates now call the NFC South home, as they signed with the Panthers and Falcons, respectively. They did, however, extend Trey Hendrickson, and as long as he, D.J. Reader, and Germaine Pratt are in the front seven, the foundation of Cincinnati’s defense will be great. Ja’Marr Chase and Tee Higgins will continue doing their thing, as well. As long as Burrow is healthy, it’s business as usual for the Bengals.

1. Kansas City Chiefs

They have Patrick Mahomes and Andy Reid. You don’t. Anything else? 

Story originally appeared on Bills Wire