New Year's boxing resolutions
Throughout the year, so many things occur in boxing that make you wince. Somehow, there never is appropriate time to tell the person how to do things better.
There is now, though. It's nearly 2008 and time to make those New Year's Resolutions.
And since so many people have trouble even coming up with a resolution, let alone sticking with it, I'll offer a few suggestions for the good folks in boxing.
Oscar De La Hoya: The Golden Boy should make it a point never to lay hands on a pair of fishnet stockings or a wig, in 2008 or beyond.
Floyd Mayweather Jr.: If you fight again, promise the next time out that it's against Miguel Cotto. And promise to quit talking about retiring after every fight, because that act has gotten older than Engelbert Humperdinck.
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Ross Greenburg: The president of HBO Sports should promise to spend every waking moment trying to figure a way to get Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Miguel Cotto to fight sometime in 2008.
Miguel Cotto: The WBA welterweight champion should resolve to go to church every day to pray that Floyd Mayweather Jr. does not retire and gives him an opportunity to show the world how good he is.
Erik Morales: The one-time great Mexican warrior should try really hard to learn the lessons that so many other boxers before him failed to learn and gracefully retire before he gets seriously hurt.
Ken Hershman: The head honcho of Showtime boxing should agree to open his boxing telecasts to all promoters. Top Rank, which has the deepest pool of talent, had no cards on Showtime in 2007. Golden Boy, which has the second-deepest pool, had one.
Ozell Nelson: The new trainer of middleweight champion Jermain Taylor should find a good set of ear plugs to block out all the complaining he's going to hear from the Taylor faithful if Taylor doesn't win back the title from Kelly Pavlik on Feb. 16.
WBA, WBC, WBO and IBF: Boxing's major world sanctioning bodies should agree to fairly rank all boxers, not strip champions of their belts arbitrarily and charge sanction fees only for world title bouts.
Manny Pacquiao: The popular super featherweight should remember he's a boxer and not a rock star and thus needs to stay out of the night clubs and get into the gym.
Floyd Mayweather Sr.: The self-anointed world's greatest trainer with the acerbic tongue ought to do his part to keep peace in the family and agree to go an entire year without making a derogatory comment about his son or his brother, Roger.
Wladimir Klitschko: The IBF heavyweight champion should agree to fight each of the other three world champions and not let his purse get in the way of making the bouts happen.
Vitali Klitschko: The brother of the champion should resolve to give up these crazy comeback plans. He doesn't need it.
Don King: He ought to agree not to stand in the way of a fight between Juan Diaz and Michael Katsidis, which could be the best fight of not only 2008 but of the 21st century.
Hugh McIlvanney: The wonderful British columnist should promise to write more about boxing, because nobody has ever done it better.
Dave Anderson: The Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Times columnist is too humble, but needs to take a public bow on his election to the International Boxing Hall of Fame. It's an honor long overdue.
Joey Gilbert: The cast member of the first season of The Contender should promise to quit calling himself a champion until he fights someone — anyone — with a pulse.
Miguel Diaz: Should agree to train more fighters. The 1999 Trainer of the Year works primarily as a cut man these days, but there are plenty of young fighters who would benefit from his wisdom.
Jorge Linares: The WBC featherweight champion must vow to resist any efforts to change him as he matures into one of the world's elite fighters.
Bob Arum: The Hall of Fame promoter must resolve to count to 10 before letting his legendary temper get the best of him and starting another detrimental to boxing feud with Golden Boy Promotions.
Andy Lee: Boxing's finest prospect must promise to keep working as hard once he lands on the world stage as he has on the way up, because if he does, a superstar will soon emerge.
Ricky Hatton: The über-popular British star should promise to push his people to make a mid-year fight with Manny Pacquiao.
Felix Trinidad: We're happy to have him back as an active fighter, but he must promise that if he decides to retire again, this time it's for good.
Mark Taffet: The head of HBO Pay-Per-View should vow to be an advocate for the consumer in 2008 and promise that if promoters ask the public to pay for a bout that they deliver at least two compelling matches. If the main event is the only fight worth seeing, then the price should be cut by 30 percent.
Kelly Pavlik: If the new middleweight champion gets past Jermain Taylor on Feb. 16, he should vow to resist the second-tier opposition like John Duddy that Top Rank is going to try to feed him.
Shane Mosley: Agree to a spring match with Antonio Margarito.
All promoters and broadcasters: Should forget about championships and simply promise to make the best fights possible.
