The Southwest and the Southworst

The Charlotte Bobcats will become the NBA's 30th franchise next season, and with their arrival comes realignment to the league's divisions, as announced earlier this week. After studying the new format, which has three five-team divisions in each conference, two questions immediately entered my mind.

First, will the winner of next season's Southeast Division even have a .500 record, and second, did Charlotte owner Bob Johnson name his team after himself? The "Bob"cats? Let's just hope other owners don't get any vain inclinations to do the same thing. I wouldn't want to have to watch the L.A. Busses take on the Dallas Cubans next year. But forgive me, I digress. Let's talk about what realignment means to the NBA.

First of all, it makes sense. It's symmetrical, or linear, or whatever the word is (maybe I'll ask Phil Jackson; I'm sure he'd know.) It's good to have an equal number of teams in each division (right now the Central has eight teams, the others seven), and the league did the best job it could dividing its franchises into their respective divisions geographically.

The Minnesota Timberwolves really don't fit into its natural geographic area in the Northwest Division, where they join Portland, Seattle, Utah and Denver. The T'Wolves are two time zones away from the actual Northwest. But the league wanted 15 teams in each conference and didn't have much choice. There are more franchises in the Eastern part of the country than in the West.

The problem for the Memphis Grizzlies is not geographic so much as it is competitive. Memphis joins four of the best teams in the league (San Antonio, Houston, Dallas and New Orleans) to form the Southwest Division, the toughest division in the NBA. Memphis was being considered for a spot in the Eastern Conference's Southeast Division, but the Grizz got the short end of the stick.

So just six months after barely missing the grand prize in the LeBron James sweepstakes, the Grizzlies take another hit. Imagine if they had won the lottery and been placed in the Southeast, along with Charlotte, Atlanta, Miami and Orlando. The LeBron James-led Grizzlies would be the best team in the division! Instead, it's no LeBron and a steady diet of Tim Duncan, Yao Ming, Dirk Nowitzki and Baron Davis. Ouch.

The New Orleans Hornets can't be too happy, either. They will go from being one of the top teams in the Eastern Conference this year to maybe the fourth-best team in their own division next season.

While Memphis, Minnesota and New Orleans were the big realignment losers, the winners are every team entering the Southeast Division. They all instantly go from cellar dwellers to playoff contenders. One of them could win the division with a sub-.500 record and advance to the playoffs, ahead of other teams in the conference with better records.

If the Southeast existed this season, the Washington Wizards would be in first place with a 5-6 record, followed by Atlanta at 4-8, Miami at 3-9 and Orlando at 1-11. And the Bobcats, who will undoubtedly stink it up next year, will join that group of powerhouses. I can see the marketing people in Washington getting together and saying, "Hey, never mind the fact that we stink. We just won the division! Let's hang a banner!" Oh my.

Perhaps instead of Southeast, the division could be called "Southworst."

For the rest of the NBA, nothing much has changed. The Pacific, Central and Atlantic divisions all maintain most of their traditional teams. In all likelihood, the playoffs will still involve the top eight teams in each conference. I asked Don Nelson about realignment the other day and he said, "Who cares? It doesn't mean anything to us." He's right. The Mavericks, like every other team in the league, are after a championship. An NBA championship, not a division one.

Even the new Charlotte BobJohnsonCats are hoping to win one someday.