Fri Jul 25 09:00am EDT
This has gone too damn far.
Life isn't easy, sometimes, but you tolerate things. You put up with them. You move on.
This morning I woke up with a Jimmy Buffett song in my head, and I dealt with it. At least it wasn't the Eagles.
Last night, I couldn't find a bottle of unsweetened iced tea at the local convenience store to save my life, mainly because the whole of the American Midwest can't deal with consuming anything that doesn't come complete with a cup and a half of sugar per serving. I dealt with it. Made my own homebrew out of some crushed trucker pills from the convenience store and some used Irish Breakfast leaves.
(There's your answer to the Jimmy Buffett conundrum, by the way. Go looking for a clip of Freddie King's "Play it Cool" on YouTube, and end up discovering some random 80s German pop group.)
Ricky Davis, rumored to be next? You deal with it. You wonder if he's going to bother to learn how to say "nausea-related symptoms" in Greek.
("ναυτÎ¯α που συνδÎονται με συμπτÏματα," as far as I can tell.)
But this news? Too much.
"Lakers reserve guard Sasha Vujacic, a restricted free agent, is prepared to leave the team and accept an offer from a European team in the next few days if the Lakers don't make him an offer he deems fair, according to a source in the Vujacic camp who spoke only on the condition of anonymity."
First of all, Machine has a "camp," and you know for damn sure that regardless of the subject it will ALWAYS speak only on the condition of anonymity.
Secondly, and most important? We can't afford to lose this guy.
Mitch Kupchak? Pay the man. Pay the Machine, too, because Sasha has equal parts within him. The blood in that picture above? We're not sure if it's real, or something the Machine came up with in order to try and worm some pity out of James Posey back in June. One minute a concerned Pose is telling the man not to pick at it, the next second the Machine is drilling a 26-footer in Posey's face.
That's how the Machine works, in deference to the man at all times, but taking over when the situation calls for it.
And you can't lose that edge. You can't lose that touch. You can't lose those skills. You can't lose that man, or the Machine.
Vujacic and Kobe Bryant share the same agent. Same guy. And while you would think this would be enough to help convince Sasha to stay stateside, I'm thinking the other way around on this. Kobe already speaks Italian. He already prefers a tasteful Aston Martin DB9 to some ghastly GM-built monstrosity with 22-inch wheels and DVD players in every cup holder. He could be next.
I wouldn't blame him. You can probably find unsweetened iced tea in Europe. I would venture a guess that Jimmy Buffett has yet to find much of an audience over there. I'm pretty sure Skip Bayless isn't reviewing movies on TV in Greece. No one over there has ever been on the "Budweiser Hot Seat."
With that said, we can't let this breach happen. Call an emergency meeting, rip up the CBA, trade Odom and Gasol for cap space and bring Anthony Peeler back. See if Stu Jackson is still running a team, deal with him. Do whatever it takes.
Don't lose the Machine.