Future News: Bebe named world’s 97,612th highest paid footballer

After establishing that Barcelona star Lionel Messi is the world's highest-paid footballer, earning €33 million a year (€10.5-million salary, €1.5 million in bonuses and €21 million in advertising and other contracts), France Football magazine has discovered that Manchester United disappointment on loan at Beskitas is the world's 97,612th highest paid footballer. It is estimated that Bebe earns about €17 a year.

"My contract is for much more than that," said Bebe, who cost Manchester United around €9 million in 2010. "But when I joined Besiktas on loan, there must have been some confusion about who would pay me so I haven't been paid anything in...a while. Maybe it was a payroll glitch. Could have been Y2K related. Anyway, my cruciate ligament melted before I even got to Turkey, so I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it. I don't have a phone and that tin can tied to a string thing just doesn't work at all. Whoever invented that is an idiot."

Bebe later added: "In all honesty, [Manchester United manager Sir Alex] Ferguson refused to pay me the first time he saw me train -- the day after I signed with Man United. But I grabbed a bunch of scones from their breakfast spread and wrapped them in napkins that day so I didn't care. They were such good scones."

According to a report published Tuesday, Bebe earns an annual salary of €0, owes €175 in bank fees and makes €192 for wearing knockoff "Badidas" brand football boots in various fast food restaurants. But none of that matters to Bebe, who lived in a homeless shelter during his teenage years.

"Money isn't that important. Especially when you have scones. I still have a bunch left."