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Sean Leahy

Beyond bizonkers: Expanding Gary Bettman's slang dictionary

Sean Leahy
Puck Daddy

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In an interview yesterday with ESPN 760 in South Florida, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman broke out a new addition to the slang dictionary.

"When you think back at the history of this club, I remember in the Stanley Cup finals in 1995-96, Florida was absolutely bizonkers, if there is such a word, over the Panthers," Bettman said. "And I think for a team that fans see to be increasingly competitive, that excitement and that feeling will be back."

That's right: Bettman fondly remembers the excitement of Florida Panther fans and the team's run to the Stanley Cup Finals as "absolutely bizonkers."

I would imagine our fearless Commissioner was hoping to connect with the kids, and reinforce his aura of cool that Wysh attempted to bestow upon him this summer.

In order to help our dear Commish reach new heights of balla status, we here at Puck Daddy would like to expand his hip vocabulary, with some examples of potential usage:

Craptastic: "That attendance in Atlanta the other night was totally craptastic."

Redonkulous: "It seems like every goal scored against the Phoenix Coyotes is redonkulous."

Biznatch: "Russia should stop being a bunch of biznatches and agree to a transfer deal already."

Sangwich: "Daly and I are gonna head over to Chipotle to discuss Winter Classic ticket prices over some sangwiches."

Pwned: "If Koules and Barrie try to step out of line with their goofy ideas, they're going to get pwned by the NHL ..."

n00bs: "... and let me make this perfectly clear: They will be pwned, because they are n00bs."

Kabillion: "We were secretly selling Winter Classic tickets on StubHub hoping we'd make, like, a kabillion dollars."

Drop the skinny: "Every Thursday afternoon, I drop the skinny on NHL happenings with my main man Bill Clement."

Ginormous: "Jim Balsillie is a ginormous pain in my ass. And also a craptastic biznatch."

What hip, new slang words would you'd like to hear at the next NHL State of the Union address by Senor Bettman?

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