Puck Daddy - NHL

Judging from yesterday's post on the Nashville Predators' ownership brouhaha, many Puck Daddy readers have a slight disregard for NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. OK, slight is kind; "The Love Guru" got better reviews.

No matter how high the NHL soars, Gary Bettman continues to be a pesky anchor; everything about him conjures ill feelings and painful memories of cancelled seasons and managerial ineptitude. The fact that he receives the blame for all of hockey's problems ("Bettman invented the Neutral Zone Trap to steal teams from Canada!") doesn't help his reputation, either.

The man needs an image makeover. And we're just the puckheads to give him one.

In the thrilling sequel to our Chris Pronger tribute slogan competition, Puck Daddy is proud to present our first reader-submitted art contest -- Gary Bettman: Portraits in Heroism.

We're asking you to send in your drawings, paintings, Photoshops and any other electronically-submitted visual media that depicts Gary Bettman in a moment of true valor and heroism. Fighting to the death in "300." Body-slamming Andre the Giant in Wrestlemania III. Here's an example I created in roughly 180 seconds: Gary Bettman fighting a fire-breathing dragon.

Rules: Original artwork only, and we'll publish many but not all of the entries. The Yahoo! Sports rules of profanity and PG-13 content apply. We're looking for originality, creativity, wit and whatever puts our beloved commissioner in the most valiant light. Our friend Japers used Deadspin's Legend of Ned art gallery as an example; we'd like to see that, with a twist of Pensblog absurdity. Deadline for submissions is Friday, August 1 at noon EDT. E-mail contest entries (.jpegs preferred) to puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com. Judges are myself, Leahy and a 12-pack of Smithwick's.

Prizes: Oh yes, there are prizes. Jon Swenson from the brilliant Sharkspage hooked us up with some Versus gear, which we will give away (so subversive!). So there will be three places, with first-place getting his or her choice of the three prizes and second place getting nexties:

• An adult small Versus hockey jersey with "Versus 08" on the back, plus a special Stanley Cup playoffs poster.
• A spiffy Versus hat and a 2008 Stanley Cup commemorative puck.
• From the Puck Daddy prize closet: Monopoly, MY NHL edition. Yes indeed.

Use the comments section below for brainstorming ideas. For the Photoshoppers, here's a rather good start on Bettman art. We're very excited to see how hockey fans will re-imagine the commissioner as a courageous leader. Like Gotham City, the NHL needs a symbol of unwavering valor. And with that: Bettman Begins!

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35 Comments

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  1. Seedy
    1. Posted by Seedy Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:33 pm EDT

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    What, no unopened breadmaker?
    Regifting FTW!
  2. Wyshynski
    2. Posted by Wyshynski Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:21 pm EDT

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    @ Seedy --
    I'll have you know that the MY NHL Monopoly game is actually in the plastic. Which just goes to show how much I played the hell out of Star Wars Monopoly to never get around to hockey.
  3. Leahy
    3. Posted by Leahy Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:27 pm EDT

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    this contest can only end one way...
    epic.
  4. Leahy
    4. Posted by Leahy Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:27 pm EDT

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    and Bet-Man can totally dominate Trogdor there. Excellent artwork Wysh
  5. tmr
    5. Posted by tmr Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm EDT

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    Wysh,
    Will your censors allow a close-up of Bettmans face painted on my arse as long as he's not smiling??
    It's a shoo-in for 1st place...
  6. The KBBL Party Penguin
    6. Posted by The KBBL Party Penguin Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:04 pm EDT

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    @ TMR:
    Would that actually require paint?
  7. Seedy
    7. Posted by Seedy Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:33 pm EDT

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    @ Wysh
    I'll have YOU know that I gave MY NHL Monopoly game, still wrapped in plastic, to my brother last christmas...I'm calling him today to make sure he still has it!
  8. tmr
    8. Posted by tmr Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm EDT

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    KBBL...
    It's supposed to have some kind of "artistic" element to it, so I guess I gotta paint my arse...
  9. The KBBL Party Penguin
    9. Posted by The KBBL Party Penguin Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:04 pm EDT

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    @TMR:
    Fair enough. I suggest black and orange. Reminiscent of the classic "pre-silver/post-lockout" NHL logo. Maybe add "Wales and Campbell - RIP"
  10. tmr
    10. Posted by tmr Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm EDT

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    Hey, my arse ain't that big....but thanks for the ideas.
  11. BRIAN S
    11. Posted by BRIAN S Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:14 pm EDT

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    ADULT SMALL? what, so my girlfriend can wear it? she hates hockey!!!!!!!
    Wyshynski you stink!!!!
  12. books
    12. Posted by books Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:22 pm EDT

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    It's time's like this that I wish I knew how to do a bit more with photoshop programs. Due to my ineptitude I hope someone takes my Batman and Robin Parody (Buttman and Colon of course) idea and runs with it. "To the Butt-Cave, Colon." "What!?!?! You forgot to ask for financials? Holy lawsuit pending Buttman!!!" etc.
  13. BRIAN S
    13. Posted by BRIAN S Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:14 pm EDT

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    yes what stinks worse than a hockey game on Versus I cannot watch?
    an adult small Vs jersey with '08' on the back (at least the 0 is the right size - but we can only assume right?)
  14. J.P.
    14. Posted by J.P. Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:42 pm EDT

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    That's some pretty craptacular schwag, but putting together a worthy-for-consideration submission should be reward enough to motivate most.
  15. Wrap Around Curl
    15. Posted by Wrap Around Curl Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:49 pm EDT

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    I call dibs on the jersey.
  16. Wyshynski
    16. Posted by Wyshynski Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:21 pm EDT

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    @ Wrap Around Curl
    Well then you're going to have to win the contest then, won't you?
  17. Michigander21
    17. Posted by Michigander21 Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:35 pm EDT

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    A. This is going to get really ugly, really fast. AWESOME!
    B. Wysh, that drawing of yours is classic. I peed myself when I saw it.
    C. VS. gear is perfect for a Bettman contest.
    I haven't got any graphics skill, nunchuck skills, etc... So I am dying to see what insanity everyone comes up with.
  18. Rumpelstilzchen
    18. Posted by Rumpelstilzchen Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:32 pm EDT

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    Who uses Yahoo search? Google search would have been delightfully subversive
    I'm a linux man and photoshopping is hard on here.
  19. Bob
    19. Posted by Bob Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:43 pm EDT

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    Dress him like his look-alike stunt double (the Count from Sesame Street), as he teaches the GM's around the league how to hid-- I mean, count, their revenue.
  20. Matthew G
    20. Posted by Matthew G Thu Sep 03, 2009 11:00 pm EDT

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    I'm going to end up getting fired for making my sweet art at work. haha. Its too irresistible to not work on. Ill be looking over my shoulder all day.
  21. Bubbabanjo
    21. Posted by Bubbabanjo Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:05 pm EDT

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    Napoleon. Paul Simon, Inch High Private Eye, Ronnie James Dio (sans hair), Mahatma Gary-ndi.........Bettman would fit any of those pics.
    Wyshynski you stink!
  22. John M
    22. Posted by John M Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:34 pm EDT

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    When is Mr. Bettman going to get out of the hockey world he hates Canadians and is always trying to kill Canadian hockey in Canada he must be getting a big pay off as he can only see united states teams they can not do wrong .according to Mr. Bettman give Canada a break Mr. bettman and quit and stop screwing up the Canadian hockey game.
  23. ~jai~
    23. Posted by ~jai~ Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:21 pm EDT

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    @ BubbaBanjo, you forgot Pee Wee Herman, doubt me? Check out PeeWee's mug shot.
    @ Wysh well the jersey would fit me, too bad I have zero drawing ability, maybe I'll call in a favor.
  24. Leahy
    24. Posted by Leahy Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:27 pm EDT

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    @Rumpelstilzchen: You know who uses Yahoo! images? A Yahoo! blog
  25. mark w
    25. Posted by mark w Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:08 pm EDT

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    Sorry Wysh, can't draw this. But how about an Ultimate Fighting Contest before the Winter Classic featuring our Beloved Commish Butthead and Don Cherry. Let Don (After taking his Geritol and proclaiming Canada's greatness) rearrange Bettman's face. NBC's rating would kill anymore on the tube.

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