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    Ball Don't Lie

    Report: LeBron James is hilarious

    LeBron James, dreaming of delicious bites of already-cut steak (Getty Images)

    We realize that this is a bit of a cheap shot, lobbed from afar, but as continued hints and passed-along reports of LeBron James' terrible tipping habits keep getting shipped to us, we feel it our duty to pass along Peter Pattakos' interview with a Cleveland-area steakhouse server, who revealed the knowledge that he or she was James' favorite server mainly because he or she "didn't put up with his crap."

    And that, apparently, James likes all the comforts of home to follow him when he goes out to eat. "Home" meaning, of course, what his dinner table looked like around 1990 or so. Minus the apple martinis. Read:

    "(S)he also told us that LeBron liked to drink apple martinis, which comes as no surprise because apple martinis are delicious, and if you had a job where you could take a four-hour nap every day to sleep off the sugar hangover, you would drink them, too. Relatedly, LeBron would ask his servers to have his steak (well done) already cut up for him, which corroborates a report by a (former?) server at Johnny's who once told [fellow reporter Vince] Grzegorek that LeBron would order his spaghetti cut up as well, and also of course enhances the credibility of our source."

    (Hee hee.)

    Even as a two-fisted Jameson drinker, I can get behind the idea of an apple martini. They're delicious, they put a cherry in there, and they look all green and fetching. I've only had one in my life, but if you're buying, I'll drink seven just as long as you provide the aspirin.

    Then there's the well done steak, cut up for him. Cut up for him! The ideal is that you'll usually let the steak rest for a few minutes while it still cooks off the grill to that perfect point between rare and medium rare, and that you (as a sentient human being with an ability to pull off that whole "knife and fork" thing) would cut it yourself.

    Especially if you're in an establishment where you're known to tip poorly. Especially because servers have to tip out all manner of staff (including the bartender that makes your apple martinis, the bus boys, the food runners, the dishwashers, sometimes the line cooks), and each of those people (usually working past closing, to accommodate a local star walking in 90 minutes after a game that usually ends around 10:00 at night) would have more than enough reason to, say, "alter" the way your steak was prepared between the grill and your table.

    (Just sayin', LeBron. Again, I've no sources in the Cleveland area.)

    If the self-styled "King" has a food-taster, we don't envy him. Even if the food is coming to the table untouched.

    More from Yahoo! Sports: Thaddeus Young gets tricked

    Watch Full Count!
     

    51 comments

    • Larry  •  Wichita, Kansas  •  3 months ago
      I can see why Lebron gets his food cut up for him, he does have a history of choking.
      • Derek 3 months ago
        Nicely done, sir.
      • Derek 3 months ago
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      • Curtis 3 months ago
        That was a good one.
    • TheDeadWalk  •  Seaman, Ohio  •  3 months ago
      Pretty much anything Lebron says or does can result in a traveling or choking joke and I love every one of them.
    • Drew  •  3 months ago
      F! LeBron. What a lame story.
    • javan p  •  Washington, District of Columbia  •  3 months ago
      This is an article? ...Seriously??
      • Derek 3 months ago
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    • GT3  •  3 months ago
      Report: Kelly Dwyer has a crush on Lebron James.
      • Derek 3 months ago
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    • dick burns  •  3 months ago
      Why not bypass all of this and just
      have LeBron crap into a baggie and sell it on eBay?
    • tupac4life  •  New York, New York  •  3 months ago
      Get off Lebron's nuts yahoo ... Jesus christ.
      • theargus 3 months ago
        actually likes his nuts cut up for him too.
    • EJ  •  Phoenix, Arizona  •  2 months ago
      Get off his nutz geez. I bet the next Kelly Dwyer article will reveal is Lebron shakes or wipes
    • None  •  3 months ago
      I wish Lebron was in the Restaraunt I was frequenting, because I would make it a point to tip the wait staff that was waiting on Lebron, and walk by and tell him "you're welcome" Cheap #$%$
    • Thanatos  •  3 months ago
      Hey, even Scottie "No Tippin" Pippen never demanded his food cut up for him. Would you like it pre-chewed as well, Lebron?
      • Marvin 3 months ago
        LOL
      • Marvin 3 months ago
        PRE CHEWED eewww
      • US Army Veteran 3 months ago
        When you're a big ole spoiled baby you get your steak cut up into bite sized pieces and you drink Kool-Aid tasting drinks.
    • A Yahoo! user  •  3 months ago
      Aple martini is a girls drink. No wonder he's on his cycle in the playoffs
    • trolling the world  •  3 months ago
      Appletinis? You gotta be kidding me. What kinda man has that for a drink? Or maybe John Dorian from Scrubs is his idol......it would explain his need to always be the center of attention.
    • Joe  •  Austin, Texas  •  3 months ago
      Kelly, you're trying too hard. Way too hard.

      "Even as a two-fisted Jameson drinker",,, Dude, you must be cool!
    • Bob  •  Akron, Ohio  •  3 months ago
      Lebron needs his food cut up because he is used to eating with his hands.............cant use a knife and fork.............and a spoon.................forget it.
    • mike  •  Seattle, Washington  •  3 months ago
      This was one minute of my life I can't get back! I guess Kelly Dwyer had a brain fart and doesn't have enough to write about!
    • Santiago B  •  3 months ago
      I could care less how Lebron wants his food served, I used to smash Doritos into sandwiches as a kid, but tipping badly is just stupid. I always tip at least ten percent regardless and I don't make millions of dollars. Don't be that guy, LBJ.
    • RichardO  •  Norfolk, Virginia  •  3 months ago
      I want to start by saying I'm a generous tipper, but have never understood the practice. I do not feel sorry for anyone who relies on the "generosity" of others for their pay. Why do they deserve to be given extra money for doing their job? If you don't like it, find another source of income. Tipping should be for special circumstances, not just bringing me my plate and check, that's your JOB, not doing anything extra.
    • Captain Kickass  •  Boston, Massachusetts  •  3 months ago
      He couldn't win a Championship in Cleveland by himself. How do you expect him to cut up his own food? He asked Bosch for help and he just started crying. He asked Wade to help and he replied " #$%$ this is my house do it yourself!"
    • Ricky  •  Pleasanton, California  •  3 months ago
      kelly, how are you paid to do what you do? this is junk.
    • RICK JAMES  •  Glen Ellyn, Illinois  •  3 months ago
      A lot of NBA players are like this. Some even much worse.

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