Ball Don't Lie

C-a-C: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar will destroy you, ball

Dan Devine
Ball Don't Lie

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Little-known fact -- nearly 11,000 of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's 38,387 career points were scored via penshots. (AP …

In the years since his retirement, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has found many ways to pass the time. He's been a coach, a mentor, the Archangel of Basketball, a best-selling author and, most recently, a global cultural ambassador for the U.S. Department of State. When you add his many post-career accomplishments to his Hall of Fame playing career, you're left with a man who has achieved on a level few have ever known — a lifelong winner for whom, perhaps, few challenges remain. For individuals of such distinction, the journey can never stop; new horizons must be sought.

At least, that's what I tell myself when Kareem decides he's going to try to develop psychokinetic powers that enable him to move, distort and perhaps even destroy objects with his thoughts. I think it's good for people to set goals, even if those goals leave you staring crazily at a basketball on top of a pen in Brazil.

To be fair, he's getting really good. That ball wasn't even spinning when he put it on top of the pen. He did that with his mind. True story.

Best caption wins "Slam Dunk Ernest," in its entirety, overdubbed in Hungarian. Don't you dare say I never gave you anything. Good luck.

In our last adventure: The list of games at which Kevin Durant is better than Jarrett Jack now apparently includes freeze tag.

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Jarrett Jack checks the shot clock. Frown-emoticon seconds remain. (Getty Images)

Winner, CS: The New Orleans Hornets would have been better if they signed a group of players WITHOUT a severe phobia of a moving net.

Runner-up, Colin: "The Thunder's new mascot is the ghost from the Skirvin Hotel? Run!"

NOTE: Granted, the goof here is basically just a variant of the one I made in the post itself, but it's specific, it's accurate and, most importantly, it enables me to link back to a post in the BDL archives that features a super-dope J.E. Skeets Photoshop. Everybody wins!

Second runner-up, Vaffanculo: Sometimes you don't even need to buy a ticket to watch a good game.

A Special Commendation in Ruling, Great Job, Internet! Division, goes to Meowmeowmeow, who offered: ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD.

Cat-friendly user name + "Futurama" reference + the delightful (and perhaps accidental) trolling in getting the reference a little bit wrong = Great Job, Internet!

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