Tyler Summitt on fatherhood, coaching, Pat Summitt and staying connected to his mom
LONDON, Ohio − Tyler Summitt had a firm grip on the steering wheel of the all-black MasterCraft X23.
His one-year-old son, Rocky, was attempting to yank the wheel while sitting on Tyler's lap during a cloudy morning boat ride in June on Choctaw Lake.
Tyler often takes his family out on the boat. Until last year, he still drove the MasterCraft X1 that he and his mother used to cruise on the Tennessee River with.
Tyler has a lot to teach his children about their grandmother. He talks about her often, but June, especially, is a time to tell them about his mom, the legendary Lady Vols basketball coach Pat Summitt. The three Summitt grandchildren will learn one day about the eight championships she won, the 1,098 career wins, and how she made sure the fight against Alzheimer's continued long after her death in 2016 at age 64.
But right now, Pat just gets to be Grammy to Breck, Rocky and her namesake, Patricia.
Breck, who will be 5 in July, still needs to be reminded sometimes he doesn't have to yell at the sky for God or Grammy to hear him. He hasn't fully grasped that his Grammy isn't as tall as her statue that stands across the street from Thompson-Boling Arena.
His grandmother becomes more and more real in his mind as he gets older, though, and he often tells visitors at their home that his Grammy was a champion.
Learning how to 'be his own man'
R.B. Summitt can't help being reminded of the house he and Pat bought a few months before Tyler was born when he sits in the three-season room of Tyler's house.
The man-made lake in Ohio isn't the same as the waterfront the Summitt's old home sits on. Choctaw Lake is shallow, only averaging seven feet deep across the 285 acres of water, its deepest point only 14 feet.
But as he gazed across the water – if you just take away the houses on the other shoreline and imagine an island in their place – R.B. said it's a reflection of the view Tyler had from his bedroom window or the kitchen nook in the house off Alcoa Highway.
It evokes the same feeling without being in the place where nearly every memory is associated with his mother.
"Part of the reason they're up here is that it gives a little bit of separation, and he can be his own man," said R.B., who was married to Pat for 26 years before she filed for divorce in 2007.
Now 32, Tyler spends his days as a stay-at-home dad, handling responsibilities as a board member of the Pat Summitt Foundation and helping the Pat Summitt Leadership Group. He knows he is where he's supposed to be now, and his wife, Brooke, said, “it's just a really good feeling to see that he's genuinely happy.”
Tyler also speaks on Pat's behalf sometimes, like last summer when he gave a speech for her induction into the U.S. Olympic Hall of Fame.
"It was very emotional for me, because I know she should have been there," Tyler said. "She should have been the one giving that speech, she should have been the one talking about the impact of Title IX on women, on everybody."
He always tries to turn those moments into an opportunity to tell his kids what their grandmother stood for.
But there are still hard days seven years after she died. R.B. called Pat a foundational cornerstone in Tyler's life – their bond was irreplaceable.
"There's times I still sense the sadness, and just the wishing his mom could see these kids," R.B. said. "It would be such a joy to her."
How Tyler is fulfilling Pat's dream now
Tyler snuck around the black curtain after Pat was replaced by Holly Warlick during her final press conference as the Lady Vols coach in 2012.
He called Marquette to accept the offer to be an assistant coach for the women's basketball team.
"The day she stopped, I started," Tyler said.
At the time, he really believed coaching was his passion. But looking back, Tyler realized he was just trying to be the perfect son and continue what his mother wasn't able to.
"I think it was very rushed," Tyler said. "It was very, 'OK, this is what I should do. I've got to keep going.' Looking back, I wish I could have done more for mom … It's something that I think, 'Could I have done things differently?' Even though I know she'd be telling me right now, just focus on what you can control."
His coaching career had an accelerated path, and it lasted only four seasons. Tyler spent two years at Marquette before being hired as the coach of Louisiana Tech women's basketball at age 23. He resigned in 2016 after having an extramarital affair with Brooke, who was the starting point guard.
In a matter of months, Tyler's entire world turned over.
He did a lot of reflecting after Pat died two months after his resignation. Now, he understands his place in her legacy, and he found a tangible way to fulfill one of Pat's dreams.
When Pat was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, she told Tyler that if she couldn't coach forever, she'd want to give her definite dozen speech to businesses. In 2020, the Pat Summitt Leadership Group launched its online program. Each module begins with a clip of Pat's definite dozen corporate speech and includes quizzes and other materials.
It's what Tyler is most proud of, not only because people can still learn from his mother, but because her leadership principles were who she was.
How Pat influences Tyler as a father
Whenever Tyler wants to feel connected to Pat, all he has to do is walk down to the dock and take the boat for a ride.
Every year on June 14, the boat ride is a continuation of Pat's favorite birthday activity. The boat was her respite; being on the water gave her a sense of peace amid her hectic life.
"She could be at the gym, she could be recruiting, June was summer camps – but then she'd be able to come home, walk 100 yards down the steps, get on the boat and just escape," Tyler said. "So it's nice to be able to get on the boat with the kids, with Brooke, and kind of share that experience, even though she's not there.
"I know that she would love to be here."
Some lessons have finally sunk in now that he has children, and so has a deeper appreciation for everything Pat did as a mother.
Like how she cooked dinner every night, and the computers and phones were put away during family dinners. Tyler is adamant about having dinner together every night, and it's a sacred time.
But something he appreciated above all else was how much time he got to spend with her.
"It was just a feeling that we always had each other's backs there for a while, whether I had the stool or her briefcase," Tyler said. "I thought I was helping, even though I probably wasn't … Even if she was working, she was present. I was there. She included me, and that's something we really try to carry on with our kids."
Tyler and Brooke always talked about naming their daughter Patricia, but they decided she'll go by her middle name, Lakelyn, to avoid putting any unnecessary pressure on her.
Lakelyn is only 4 months old, but sometimes R.B. notices a familiar look on her face. She has blue eyes and reddish hair, and R.B. can see a baby photo of Pat in his mind that looks just like Lakelyn.
"There is another Patricia Summitt," Tyler said. "I think it's something that my mom would have been proud of … I know my mom and my dad wanted to have more kids, and so I'm grateful that Brooke and I were able to."
How those closest to Pat are still Tyler's family
Before Breck was born in 2018, Tyler had a problem.
He didn't know what his son should call Pat. He didn't think she'd want to be called granny, because that's what Tyler called Pat's mother. And she definitely wouldn't like being called grandma.
So he called on those who knew Pat best: Warlick, Mickie DeMoss, Sally Jenkins, Carol Stiff and Danielle Donehew.
"As a group, we came up with Grammy with m's instead of n's," Tyler said.
Tyler leaned on that group of women – along with the late UCLA and Olympic coach Billie Moore, who he called a second mother – for advice after Pat died. He still calls her two longtime assistant coaches Aunt Holly and Aunt Mickie. He's still close with former players, such as Tamika Catchings and Candace Parker. He and Parker text often as parents of young ones after Parker's son was born last year.
Jenkins, who wrote Pat's books, Stiff, a former longtime ESPN executive, and Donehew, the Women's Basketball Coaches Association executive director, are all on the board of the foundation and leadership group. There are a number of other people still involved who knew Pat on a personal basis. But that won't always be the case.
Tyler is most involved with the leadership group and knows as time continues to pass, he'll have to take on a larger role in other areas as well.
Not only because he'll be one of the few left that knew his mother for decades, but also to show his children what it'll look like for them to carry on Pat's legacy one day.
"You look at (former UCLA coach) John Wooden's family or whoever – it's not the kids anymore. It's the grandkids," Tyler said. "So I think taking a leadership role and making sure that her legacy is protected, in a way, is teaching her grandkids what they're going to have to do someday, because that will fall to them."
One day, Tyler's children will fully grasp the nature of their grandmother. They'll understand the larger-than-life legacy she left behind for them, and how they can keep it alive.
But for now, she's just Grammy. And that's perfectly fine with Tyler.
This article originally appeared on Knoxville News Sentinel: Tyler Summitt on fatherhood, coaching, Pat Summitt and staying connected to his mom
