After tragic shooting, Virginia RB Mike Hollins is back: 'It’s so much bigger than me now'

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Physically, Mike Hollins said he felt ready to rejoin the Virginia football team from the moment doctors removed the staples and stitches from the once-existent gunshot wound in his stomach.

Mentally and emotionally, however, there was more healing to be done. And in some ways, there still is.

"It was hard to come into these same walls, into this same locker room, after seeing what I saw," he said.

As the Cavaliers open fall camp Wednesday, the fifth-year running back is doing something that seemed improbable. Eight months after being severely wounded in an on-campus shooting that killed three of his teammates, he is returning for another season of college football − carrying with him a new purpose, and a new burden.

After emerging from tragedy, Hollins is expected to not only be a key player in Virginia's running game but also the metaphorical heartbeat of its program.

"It’s so much bigger than me now," he said in a news conference Friday morning, in his most expansive comments to date about his recovery and return. "Football as a whole has kind of shrunk. And when I say that, it’s like football is a vehicle to so many other avenues in my eyes now."

Hollins was one of two students hospitalized in the Nov. 13 shooting, when a former Cavaliers football player opened fire on a bus returning from a field trip. Three of his teammates − Devin Chandler, Lavel Davis Jr. and D'Sean Perry − were killed. The shooter, Christopher Darnell Jones Jr., has yet to stand trial.

In the immediate aftermath of the shooting, Hollins said he lost roughly 30 pounds, dropping from his normal playing weight of 208 pounds to around 180. But even then, he said he was confident that he could return to football shape. "The physical part was the easy part," he said. Processing the tragedy was something else.

"It could’ve been easy, and everyone would’ve been OK with me not playing this season or sitting out. Or finding a way to just be a part of the team but not actually participate," Hollins said.

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Then what drove him to return to the field?

“I don’t know," he said. "I just felt like enough was already taken from me."

Hollins rejoined the Cavaliers during spring practice and slowly worked his way back into shape. He eased his way back into contact, careful to ensure that his body could withstand the physical toll. And he grew accustomed to spending time at the team's facilities, where football served as both a necessary distraction and a somber reminder of the friends he'd lost.

Virginia head coach Tony Elliott said he wasn't certain that Hollins would make it back to football − let alone play in the team's spring game April 15, where, in an emotional moment, he ran for a touchdown at Scott Stadium.

"I was erring on the side of caution, to be honest with you. They were telling me that he’s cleared to go, and I’m like, 'Are we sure?'" Elliott said.

"But that day that he took some contact for the first time and he got up, and he was excited about the contact, I said, 'OK, he’s ready to play football again.'"

Hollins is hardly just a motivational figure for the Cavaliers. He started two games at running back last year and appeared in seven others, rushing for 215 yards and two touchdowns prior to the shooting. (Virginia canceled the final two games of its season in the wake of the tragedy.)

Running backs coach Keith Gaither said Hollins isn't just coming back; He's "going to be an impact player."

"He’s been different. He’s been different in a great way," Gaither said. "He came back on a mission, and the bar’s high for Mike. Because now I think Mike’s playing at an elite level that he didn’t play at last year. He’s a much better player, because he’s driven. He’s purpose-driven."

He's also become something of a leader. It's a shift that Virginia coaches said they've enjoyed watching, and Hollins said he didn't anticipate − a role that was sort of thrust upon him, by virtue of his circumstances.

"I’m a hero in some people’s eyes, and it’s for something that I didn’t ask for to happen. I didn’t ask for any of it," Hollins said. "So it’s kind of a weird feeling, being looked up to for something you didn’t ask for to happen to you − something you would take back in a heartbeat."

In some ways, it's also a bit of a burden, too − but one that Hollins embraces. His perspective on football, and what it means in the broader context of his life, has changed. This season, he said he's playing for God, his family and the community of Charlottesville, which has rallied to support him and the program in its time of grief.

He's also, of course, playing for the three teammates he lost; He wears wristbands that bear their names, and says he never takes them off.

"You’ll never find the proper way to carry such a traumatic experience. It’ll always weigh on you," Hollins said. "There will never be a day where you won’t remember it or feel something missing from your heart, when thinking about it. So just learning to accept that has been − it will be a lifelong journey. It’s not something that comes easy."

Contact Tom Schad at tschad@usatoday.com or on social media @Tom_Schad.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Mike Hollins, Virginia running back, returning after fatal shooting