Todd Cayea added to his Carmel legacy by stepping away to focus on health and family

FREEDOM PLAINS – Sometimes you gotta play hurt.

Todd Cayea was hoping to get through one more season at Carmel before stepping away. Along with juggling the multitude of tasks required of a successful football coach across the calendar year, the 55-year-old has been managing diabetes.

It’s a numbers game.

“And it’s very difficult for me to control my sugar,” Cayea said. “Outside the season, I have pretty good control over it, but the lifestyle I lead and the way I approach things during the season, along with the stress level and the lack of sleep, make it very difficult to control my numbers.”

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Like most head coaches who enthusiastically invest a ridiculous number of hours preparing for the next game, Cayea was grinding the moment two-a-days began.

“I was already feeling tired, my sugar began to elevate and last week I got physically sick,” explained Cayea, who also dropped weight he cannot afford to lose. “My numbers were not in a healthy range, so at that point I just said, ‘You know what, I tried, and this is the Good Man telling me step away while I’m still healthy.’ I'm not dying any time soon, I just have to be able to control my sugar levels. For the first time in 34 years, I decided I had to take a step back and take care of myself and focus on my own family.”

He officially stepped away last week.

“My numbers are not where they need to be yet, but in a week they’ve improved 100 points so I’m moving in the right direction,” Cayea said.

He also stepped away after leading the Rams to a NYSPHSAA AA title in 2021 and was planning on sitting out one season, but was back on the sideline last fall leading his team to a second consecutive Section 1 championship.

It’s been a strange week.

Cayea was suspended for the Week 1 win against White Plains due to a preseason rules violation. Carmel used blocking sleds on the first day of practice, which is considered a contact drill and not allowed under state guidelines. He was still indirectly part of the process.

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Heading for home each day after school is taking some getting used to.

“The only time during the season where I’m not working is Saturday night,” Cayea said. “I’m up at 7 on Sunday, breaking film down and putting in 12 to 14 hours. My wife, Debra, keeps me fed throughout the day as I’m usually on the phone, collaborating with my assistants. I’m wired a little differently and I’ve called the offense and the defense for 26 years. If I don’t do things a certain way I can’t sleep at night. My kids put a lot of time in, too, and they deserve the best. I think that was my downfall, not being able to delegate more even though I’ve had outstanding assistants through the years.”

All those hours were in addition to the day job, teaching physical education at the high school.

There isn’t much down time with football. After the players get time for rest and recovery, they are back in the weight room. There are multiple camps and workouts to attend over the summer.

Sometimes you gotta play smart.

“Although this is a very difficult time for Todd, I’m actually happy for him,” Mahopac football coach Dominick DeMatteo said. “I’m happy that he is putting his health and his family first. Clearly, this decision is difficult for everyone, but it’s clearly necessary. His legacy as a transformational educator is intact and he will be forever remembered by those people he impacted.”

Football is a gladiator sport.

Sometimes the passion overshadows what’s happening outside the lines. How many times is family mentioned during locker room speeches and postgame huddles? All credibility is lost if those words mean nothing. Cayea is a role model. That’s a big part of his legacy, too. Football can’t always be the first priority.

Stepping back is the right example.

“The older I got, the wins are great, but you’re always chasing the next one,” said Cayea, whose career record is 181-82-1. “When I was younger, I enjoyed the victories a lot more. I think I’m burned out, too, from the grind.”

Carmel has plenty to work with this season and remains a playoff contender.

The numbers are good at every level and Cayea had a strong roster of assistants in place, just in case. Tom Donahoe, who previously coached rival Mahopac, is taking over as the interim head coach, pending board approval. Jim Donahoe, Jeff Hughes, Brendan Connolly, Patsy Costabile, Thomas Woodburn and Jorma Tompuri are all experienced, as well.

“It’s great to have that continuity for the kids,” Carmel athletic director Chris Salumn said. “They have a good relationship with our kids, they know our system. … The plan is to get through this season and then we’ll look for a permanent candidate, somebody who is able to carry on the tradition of the Carmel football program and be great for our community and kids.”

While he will be slowing down a step, Cayea will not be parked on the couch with a remote in hand.

“It was an emotional week,” senior Matt Risley said after the Rams suffered a 55-18 loss to Arlington, the program’s first regular-season defeat in 20 games.

“He plays such a big role in all of our lives," the linebacker continued. "It’s going to be different without him, but we have an amazing staff and we just have to trust them. I’m so happy for coach. Football is in his blood so it’s going to be difficult to step away, but he’s going to get his health where it needs to be and he’s going to spend way more time with his family. It’s nice to see and helps put everything in perspective for us. We don’t get this game for forever, so we’ll enjoy it while we’re here.”

Cayea was at Thursday’s game watching from the other side of the fence. But don’t be surprised if he's back on the sideline again this spring. Carmel will be fielding a girls flag football team and he’s planning to coach his daughter, Breleigh.

“She’s a cheerleader, so I’ll be at every game this fall, too,” Cayea said. “I still really enjoy the kids. Maybe there will be football down the road, I don’t know, but not as a head coach.”

Mike Dougherty covers high school football for The Journal News and lohud.com. Follow along on X/Twitter @hoopsmbd.

This article originally appeared on Rockland/Westchester Journal News: Carmel NY football coach Todd Cayea stepping down | Dougherty column