A teenager’s ranking of the Big Ten mascots
Everyone who spends their entire life a die-hard sports fan tends to fall in love with something different about the game. Whether you like the athleticism, the competition, the entertainment, or the comradery – you always hold something dear from your time with your teams. One thing my family has always loved,…are mascots.
The silent entertainer, providing joy to fans both young and old in suits portraying a team’s namesake or a fantasy character to entertain the masses in attendance. They capture the hearts of children and garner laughs from the adults, all while not saying a word. The rodeo clowns of major sports, mascots are there to bring us joy (and sell a few stuffed animals) regardless of how well our favorite teams are performing. Growing up in Philadelphia, I had two of the best mascots of all time in my city.
My son wasn’t always a huge sports fan. As he’s gotten older, he’s joined Dad to watch more and more sports and as a Philadelphian himself, he too is an expert on mascots. I read a fun piece from our friend Evan Bredeson from our crew over at Cornhuskers Wire and decided to ask the same question. This time, to a 15-year old.
Here’s my son’s rankings of the Big Ten mascots:
No: 14: Ohio State (Brutus Buckeye)
Mandatory Credit: Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports
When I asked him why he ranked Brutus lower than the schools with no mascot, he said “Where do I begin? Non-human head, but a human body and his hat is way too small. I would rather have no mascot than this.”
Take it easy on him, Buckeye fans.
No. 11 (tie x3): Illinois, Indiana, and Michigan
A three-way tie for the 11 spot and the only tie of the rankings. Illinois, Indiana, and Michigan all have no mascots. He really didn’t like that Brutus.
No. 10: Purdue (Purdue Pete)
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My son’s feedback: “Low-effort mascot with a mask you could buy at Spirit Halloween”
No. 9: Nebraska (Herbie Husker)
Mandatory Credit: Mike Granse-USA TODAY Sports
Me: “Why is Herbie so low?”
My son: “He just looks like some dude who owns a farm”
Me: “That’s what he’s sort of supposed to be”
My son: “Well, then he just looks like a dude”
No. 8: Testudo (Maryland)
Mandatory Credit: James Snook-USA TODAY Sports
My son said: “The turtle in general is a bad way to represent a team. When I think ‘basketball team,‘ I don’t want to think ‘a bunch of turtles.’ And it looks like a bird.”
No. 7: Penn State (Nittany Lion)
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The Nittany Lion remained at No. 7, even after I revealed to my son that it was supposed to be a lion and was not, in fact, a bear.
His thoughts: “It’s a baggy costume, doesn’t look like normal mascots. It’s above Maryland because looking like a bear when you’re a lion is better than looking like a bird when you’re a turtle.”
No. 6: Wisconsin (Bucky Badger)
Mandatory Credit: Mary Langenfeld-USA TODAY Sports
My son’s thoughts: “I liked Bucky because he looks fun and like you just want to give him a hug.”
No. 5: Michigan State (Sparty)
Mandatory Credit: Mike Carter-USA TODAY Sports
My son said “He looks tough and strong but, he’s also got weird knees.”
No. 4: Rutgers (Scarlet Knight)
Mandatory Credit: Vincent Carchietta-USA TODAY Sports
My son’s take: “Knights are cool. He looks passionate about Rutgers, and that the person in the costume is too. He does have a fake smile though.”
No. 3: Iowa (Herky the Hawk)
© Joseph Cress/Iowa City Press-Citizen / USA TODAY NETWORK
My son’s thoughts: “He looks all-around tough. He looks cool, and like he knows he’s cool.”
No. 2: Northwestern (Willie the Wildcat)
Mandatory Credit: Nicole Sweet-USA TODAY Sports
My son said: “Looks like he would be scary and crazy, but when you get to know him he’s really cool”
No. 1: Minnesota (Goldy Gopher)
Mandatory Credit: Brace Hemmelgarn-USA TODAY Sports
My son’s take for the top spot in his rankings: “He looks like a great hype man.”
On the nose, kid. On the nose.
