Stamfordhockeytournament honoring Darien teen's legacy features NHL pros and high school athletes

Aug. 2—On Thursday, the HT40 Foundation is hosting the Shoulder Check Showcase at Terry Conners Rink in Stamford, a hockey tournament featuring professional hockey players and local high school athletes designed to emphasize the importance of making contact and reaching out to loved ones.

Darien resident Rob Thorsen named the foundation in honor of his son Hayden, who died by suicide last spring. Hayden, an avid hockey player, wore the No. 40 jersey.

Though a shoulder check is a hockey term, Thorsen said the name for the initiative came to him from his son's way of showing support with a single gesture — a hand on someone's shoulder.

"I was just looking at all these photos of Hades throughout his life, and in every single photograph, he's standing there with his hand on the person's shoulder, whether it's a kid, an adult, a famous person — doesn't matter," Thorsen said.

HT40 founding partner Gary Zegras, vice president of the Mid-Fairfield Youth Hockey Association where Hayden played, said he knew the Thorsen family from their hockey connection. Shortly after Hayden's funeral service, he knew he wanted to support the family in any way he could, he said.

"At the time, they had started (a) GoFundMe, which we put on our website," Zegras said. "(I) just knew eventually that they were going to want to do something, and I just said to him, 'Listen, when you decide what it is that you want to do, I want to help.'"

Because of Hayden's love of hockey, the two decided to host a hockey showcase as the first event, partnering with Ben Prentiss of Prentiss Hockey Performance in Stamford to connect with players. Hayden trained at Prentiss's gym.

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Many local professional players also train at Prentiss's gym, and were universally on board with participating in the showcase, Zegras and Thorsen said. Participants include members of the New York Rangers, Connecticut Whale and Zegras's son Trevor, who plays for the Anaheim Ducks.

"Once we mentioned to any of these guys, 'Hey, this is what we're doing on Aug. 3,' to a man, every single player said 'If I'm here, I'm playing in the game,'" Zegras said.

Tickets for the game are sold out, but it will be broadcast on ESPN, MSG, Fox Sports One and the Darien Athletic Foundation.

In organizing the event, Thorsen consulted — among others — his son's closest friends, who have been part of HT40 since the beginning.

Some of the ideas for Thursday's showcase can be traced back directly to the kids, like getting light blue cleats and tape for the game — their signature color — and helping with social media promotion.

One of the most important details to consider was making sure the intended message got across, said teen contributor Morgan Ruppenstein.

"They didn't want it to just be a suicide awareness thing," he said. "I feel like they've done a great job at making it an initiative instead of just a poster or something like that, where you actually can do something about it instead of just talking about it."

"Mr. Thorsen was great at involving us, and it makes us feel like we're needed," said another close friend, Brady Pokorny. "It was important that we were given so much opportunity to help in this."

The event will open with a game played by his son's peers from Darien and across Fairfield County.

Thorsen said he was "extremely grateful" for the many kids who dedicated themselves to being a part of the journey and being so open in the process.

"As we've gotten further and taken steps, I get texts every other day from the kids in town or from the kids in the game about how excited they are for it, to be a part of it and to bring it forward," he said.

Despite the grand scale of this event, the Shoulder Check Showcase is, at its core, a community tribute honoring the life of a caring young man, its organizers said.

Thorsen said he was amazed by the number of people who have offered their help and support, adding "those are the kinds of moments that help you continue to take steps forward."

While this may be the first initiative for HT40 and Shoulder Check, hopes are already high to continue as an annual event and potentially beyond Fairfield County, organizers said.

Zegras said he was already receiving offers to partner with community organizations, including continuing with the National Hockey League, and could see Shoulder Check events "in arenas around the country."

"I think it's just going to be an all-out effort to spread the word and to share this initiative with as many people as possible," Zegras said. "Maybe we'll do other events during the year that aren't hockey centric because we want to make sure that this is for everybody."

Ruppenstein said he was proud that he could be part of something that can spread a positive message and carry on his friend's legacy.

"He was just such a great guy, the funniest I've ever known," Ruppenstein said. "I just miss him. I wish he was here to see everything that was going on. That he could have been a part of it."

Thorsen said he was proud that Shoulder Check's mission has resonated so deeply, a way to share the message that "you're not alone ... because I'm right here with you.

"What I do know is that we're all capable of kind of checking in on one another, and everybody recognizes what that feels like, and why it's important. Everybody can do it. I think that goal is to just get as many people doing it as possible, because that can only be a good thing."

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline can be reached 24/7 at 800-273-8255.