Spying scandal has turned into a dark comedy for Jim Harbaugh and Michigan football | Whitley

Before we get to the most important game in Billy Napier’s UF tenure, please check any leftover video you may have taken at last week’s Florida-Georgia game.

Zoom into the Gators’ sideline to see if there’s a strange guy wearing sunglasses and fake UF coaching gear. It might be Connor Gump, I mean Connor Stalions.

Pardon the confusion, but Michigan’s sign-stealing scandal seems to be morphing into a movie. I’d say it’s James Bond meets Forrest Gump, but Stalion isn’t nearly as slick as 007 or smart as Gump.

In the latest twist, photos and video surfaced of Michigan’s alleged spy master on Central Michigan’s sideline during its game against Michigan State. He’s dressed like a CMU coach, only he’s wearing dark sunglasses (at night) that probably had tiny cameras recording the Spartans’ signals.

“We’re obviously aware of a picture floating around of the sign-stealer guy,” CMU coach Jim McElwain said after Tuesday night’s game against Northern Illinois. “Our people are doing everything they can to get to the bottom of it.”

You can’t help wondering what future pictures might show. It’s like when Gump meandered into the photo ops with John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon and appeared with John Lennon on “The Dick Cavett Show.”

I think we’re just an FBI leak away from a reporter asking the White House why a picture of Stalions and a 2021 Iowa game plan were found on Hunter Biden’s laptop.

Whether that happens or not, pick up extra popcorn the next time you go the grocery store. “Forest Stalions” is looking more and more like comedy gold.

Now, please allow me to tell you which teams will get last laughs on Saturday…

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Braun Voyage: Former Florida football OL to start for Arkansas vs. Gators on Saturday

Arkansas at Florida football

As woeful as the Razorbacks’ offense has been, the Hogs have put real scares into Alabama, Ole Miss and LSU. This is the Gators’ (last?) best chance to clinch bowl eligibility. If they lose to Arkansas at home, Napier might need to borrow some dark sunglasses from an unidentified staffer and try to go incognito until spring practice. Florida 27-23

Notre Dame at Clemson football

Dabo Swinney went off this week when “Tyler from Spartanburg” called into Swinney’s radio show and asked why Clemson’s paying its football coach $10.8 million “to go 4-4.” Dabo blamed it on the Fed’s monetary policy fueling inflation. He needs to come up with better answers soon. Notre Dame 28-24

Missouri at Georgia football

I don’t know if the upstart Tigers will win. I do know they probably won’t go for it if they have fourth down on their own 34-yard line while trailing 10-7 in the first quarter. Check that, I do know if the Tigers will win. They won’t. Georgia 33-17

Pick a Name: According to various reports, Connor Stalions name is spelled "Conor," "Stallion," or "Stallions." For now, we're going with "The Sign-Stealer Guy."

LSU football at Alabama football

This will likely decide the SEC West and the emotional well-being of two states. LSU’s defense is no longer allowing about 842 yards a game, and Jayden Daniels is capable of turning the game into one long Heisman Moment. Unless Forrest Gump returns a couple of kickoffs for scores… LSU 24-20

Washington football at USC

Speaking of allowing about 842 yards a game, the Trojans could do that against Michael Penix and the Huskies. Course, they could do that against your kid’s Pop Warner team. Washington 39-33

Trivia Question: Is it easier to sneak across the U.S. border or onto Central Michigan’s sideline?

Oklahoma football at Oklahoma State

These teams have been playing since prospectors first struck oil in the state. Alas, conference realignment is ending “Bedlam.” As badly as the Sooners want the last laugh, the Cowboys want it more. Okie State 31-27

Kentucky at Mississippi State football

Mark Stoops is 0-5 in Starkville, but most of those losses were to Dan Mullen and Mike Leach. When it comes to offensive wizardry, nobody is confusing Zach Arnett for those guys. Kentucky 24-17

Clarification: A photocopy of a 2021 Iowa game plan was not found on Hunter Biden's computer. Iowa has not had an offensive game plan since 1997.

Jacksonville State at South Carolina football

The Battle of the Cocks. There are 133 Division 1 football teams, and only two go by “Gamecocks.” They are meeting Saturday in Columbia. That’s the only interesting thing I could find about this game. South Carolina 27-17

Auburn football at Vanderbilt

For the life of me, I can’t find anything interesting about this one. Maybe one of the teams could change its nickname to the Stalions.

Last Week: 6-3. Season: 55-23

Bonus Prediction: However Stalions is spelled Jim Harbaugh will swear he's never heard of the guy.

David Whitley is The Gainesville Sun's sports columnist. Contact him at dwhitley@gannett.com. Follow him on Twitter @DavidEWhitley

This article originally appeared on The Gainesville Sun: Connor Stalions pictures turn Michigan spy scandal into dark comedy