Parents Love This Expert's Tip To Playfully "Yell" At Your Kid When You're Frustrated – Here's Why
Parenting can be frustrating, and if your kids are young, it can be even harder to vent your frustrations. Recently, TikTok user Sara (@joyfultoddlerparenting) shared a slightly unconventional method of releasing that frustration in a healthy way: Screaming.
In her video, Sara recommends "yelling" at your kid in a way that turns it into a game between a parent and child, demonstrating by "screaming" at her toddler — in a low volume, and in a silly voice as they both laugh. Sara explains that her kids had spent the day pushing every boundary she had, and she felt like she might either scream or burst into tears. She adds that the screaming gave her the release that she needed while still bonding with her kids.
Sara's video currently has 484.6K views, 64.6K likes, and a totally supportive comment section of fellow parents.
I spoke with Sara, who is a mother of two with over 15 years of experience working with families as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and a developmental therapist. Sara, who currently works as a parenting coach, said that she came up with this idea as a means to benefit both the parent and the child. She said, "Frustration is part of parenting, and the goal isn’t to not feel frustrated. The goal is to express emotions in a healthy way. This hack allows me to channel my frustration in a way that connects me to my toddlers, instead of disconnecting from them."
Before recording the video, Sara described spending the morning feeling overwhelmed by her kids, and said, "I was in complete sensory overload, and my chest felt tight. I was taking really shallow breaths and just felt like I was going to explode." After "screaming," Sara confirmed that she felt relieved of that energy, and added, "I felt my body relax. I started laughing with my son, and got me breathing normally and helped reduce the tension and tightness in my chest. I felt like I could respond to my toddlers’ needs calmly and patiently."
Sara's emotional regulation in the video is considered by some to be an example of "gentle parenting," a parenting tactic that relies on respect and empathy when raising a child, though Sara herself said that the label isn't as important as the sentiment behind it. She said, "Practicing and modeling emotional regulation is one of the key aspects of this type of parenting, and that comes from intentional awareness."
Sara said that she chose to document this experience for TikTok because she felt it showed a more realistic side to parenting that many don't see. She said, "I see so much shaming happening in parenting, both from parents and from experts. I know that so many parents feel guilt and shame for having negative emotions. I want parents to understand that these feelings are normal and okay. It’s our reactions to our emotions that matter. I filmed this because I knew other parents would relate to how I was feeling, and I wanted to give them a healthy outlet."
Sara added that "parents, especially moms, are holding themselves to superhuman expectations. Not only do they expect themselves to never lose their patience, they also expect themselves to not even think about it. The guilt that comes from those expectations has such an effect on parenting."
