BDL's Ranking Rosters: Measuring depth in the Southeast Division
Stars guide the NBA. Set your watch by LeBron James contending in June. Kevin Durant joined Stephen Curry, Klay Thompson and Draymond Green in Golden State, and we all know how that will turn out. (Hint: Pretty good.) Fill out the rest of that roster with 11 Mark Madsens, and they’ll still vie for a title.
But few stars push teams to the playoffs alone. Ask Carmelo Anthony. Or DeMarcus Cousins. After 10 straight playoff appearances to begin his career, the former has seen his season end in April three years running. And the latter has landed in the lottery every season since entering the league in 2010.
Depth and continuity count in the NBA, too, and that’s why we’re here. We ranked every roster, one through 12, mostly because that’s how many players a team activates each game (and partly since 15 is more effort). Then, we broke divisions down by depth, sorting teams into four distinct categories:
• Stars: You know ’em when you see ’em
• Supporting actors: Starting-caliber NBA players
• Role players: Possess a very particular set of skills
• Extras: Putting the RP in VORP
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Likewise, we noted each roster’s additions (“standing in”) and subtractions (“edited out”).
These subjective rankings are based on depth and continuity, or lack thereof, and not a prediction of where teams will finish in the standings, even if they’re often intertwined ideas. Newly formed or existing star-studded squads may fare better than ones with longer-running or stronger supporting casts, although a revolving door or bottom-heavy roster is almost always a target for rotten tomatoes.
Without further ado: The Southeast Division.
1. Atlanta Hawks
• Stars: Paul Millsap, Dwight Howard
• Supporting actors: Kyle Korver, Kent Bazemore, Dennis Schroder, Thabo Sefolosha, Tiago Splitter
• Role players: Mike Scott, Kris Humphries, Jarrett Jack, Tim Hardaway Jr.
• Extras: Taurean Prince
Standing in: Howard, Jack, Prince
Edited out: Al Horford, Lamar Patterson, Jeff Teague
The Hawks are “Pulp Fiction.” They may also be pulp fiction. Can Mike Budenholzer do for Howard’s career what Quentin Tarantino did for John Travolta? Atlantans sure should hope Howard’s signing isn’t just a flashy cover for a product diminished by the departures of recent All-Stars Al Horford and Jeff Teague. Either way, we know for sure Millsap is a certified Samuel L. Jackson-esque badass.
Like every Tarantino project, the Hawks aren’t for everyone, and they can be tedious to watch when they’re not at their best, but Coach Bud’s got a proven directing style, and so long as he gets Bruce Willis and Uma Thurman-like performances from his veterans, they’ll draw plenty of critical acclaim.
2. Miami Heat
• Stars: Chris Bosh, Hassan Whiteside
• Supporting actors: Goran Dragic, Justise Winslow
• Role players: Tyler Johnson, James Johnson,Dion Waiters, Josh McRoberts, Derrick Williams, Wayne Ellington, Josh Richardson, Beno Udrih
Standing in: Ellington, Johnson, Waiters, Williams
Edited out: Luol Deng, Gerald Green, Joe Johnson, Amar’e Stoudemire, Dwyane Wade
“The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.” It’s not the cast you’ve come to know, since Paul Walker (Dwyane Wade) didn’t sign up for this one. You know Vin Diesel (Bosh) makes an appearance, but you’re not quite sure for how long. There’s a new crop of characters, and some might even stick around the franchise awhile, but they’re not as good as what you’re used to. Even if it’s a forgotten venture, the director’s still pretty solid, so the product won’t suffer as much as you might think.
3. Washington Wizards
• Stars: John Wall, Bradley Beal
• Supporting actors: Marcin Gortat, Markieff Morris, Otto Porter Jr., Ian Mahinmi
• Role players: Trey Burke, Jason Smith, Andrew Nicholson, Tomas Satoransky, Marcus Thornton
• Extras: Kelly Oubre Jr.
Standing in: Burke, Mahinmi, Nicholson, Satoransky, Smith
Edited out: Alan Anderson, Jared Dudley, Nene Hilario, Ramon Sessions, Garrett Temple
“All the President’s Men.” Robert Redford describes the relationship of Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein as such: “Bob was quite comfortable with Carl being the more colorful, because that helped him do what he did best, which was to have a killer instinct masked by a very cool, Presbyterian presence.” This is the Wall and Beal the Wizards need — Wall’s flashy Bernstein to Beal’s Woodward-ian sniper skills. Oh, and Gortat loves to “look at a white wall and contemplate,” which seems like something Deep Throat might do. Why Wall isn’t following the money is the only mystery here. In the end, they all dispose of Richard Nixon (Randy Wittman), and Washington, D.C., finally moves forward.
4. Charlotte Hornets
• Stars: Kemba Walker
• Supporting actors: Nic Batum, Marvin Williams, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist
• Role players: Cody Zeller, Frank Kaminsky III, Marco Belinelli, Spencer Hawes, Roy Hibbert
• Extras: Jeremy Lamb, Ramon Sessions, Brian Roberts
Standing in: Belinelli, Hibbert, Roberts, Sessions
Edited out: Tyler Hansbrough, Al Jefferson, Courtney Lee, Jeremy Lin
Back to Tarantino for a minute. Samuel L. Jackson and Kurt Russell aren’t Academy Award winners, but they produced Oscar-level efforts last year in “The Hateful Eight.” That’s how I feel about All-Star cases for Walker and Batum in 2016. Jackson deserved an Oscar, just as Walker did an All-Star bid. Batum wasn’t quite an All-Star, but he at least warranted consideration, a la Russell. Williams is Jennifer Jason Leigh here, dropping a career performance well beyond when you’d expect it. And Kidd-Gilchrist is Walton Goggins; we’re just waiting for him to be a breakout star one of these years.
I guess that makes Michael Jordan the Tarantino of this roster. As a unit, last year’s cast outperformed any expectations you might’ve had for them as individuals, and the finished product was better than we give the director credit for, because we’re constantly measuring them against their own greatness.
5. Orlando Magic
• Supporting actors: Serge Ibaka, Nikola Vucevic, Aaron Gordon, Evan Fournier
• Role players: Bismack Biyombo, Jeff Green, Elfrid Payton, D.J. Augustin, Mario Hezonja, Jodie Meeks, C.J. Watson
• Extras: Stephen Zimmerman
Standing in: Augustin, Biyombo, Green, Ibaka, Meeks, Zimmerman
Edited out: Dewayne Dedmon, Ersan Ilyasova, Brandon Jennings, Andrew Nicholson, Victor Oladipo, Jason Smith
The Magic are “Jobs.” Tackling the life of Apple’s creative force or trying to make the playoffs in Orlando is ambitious, but casting Ashton Kutcher or Serge Ibaka as the lead is your first mistake. You’ve got recognizable names — guys like Dermot Mulroney (Green) or Matthew Modine (Augustin) — but there’s a ceiling for this cast, and it’s low. You just hope Vucevic, Payton or Hezonja is your J.K. Simmons, submitting a strong performance despite those obvious limitations. And like most Magic teams, they’ll remake this as “Steve Jobs” a couple years later, and it won’t be all that much better.
Previously, on Ranking Rosters:
Eastern Conference: Atlantic Division • Central Division • Southeast Division
Western Conference: Pacific Division • Southwest Division • Northwest Division
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is a contributor for Ball Don’t Lie and Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at rohrbach_ben@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter! Follow @brohrbach
