Manchester United and Casemiro’s slapstick defending is inexcusable

There have been an abundance of egregious moments defensively from Manchester United this season, but no goal better encapsulates their abomination of a Premier League campaign than the first of the four goals they conceded against Crystal Palace.

The scale of the ineptitude was so great that, on first viewing, you could be forgiven for thinking your eyes were playing tricks on you. But, no, really, truly, it was that bad: nothing that would make one of those blooper videos but several interlocking parts of near frightening incompetence all the same.

Erik ten Hag has bemoaned United’s injury crisis for months, but let’s be clear from the outset: this specific goal had nothing to do with injuries. Injuries did not explain Christian Eriksen’s starting position at Palace’s throw-in, for example.

That had nothing to do with injuries – that was a simple, inexplicable case of a highly experienced player in completely the wrong position with seemingly no one around him telling him to drop 10 yards. Had he done so he would have had clear sight of Michael Olise. Instead, the most dangerous player on the pitch was free to amble into the giant space behind the Denmark midfielder, a hole that has become such a frequent feature of this brainless United side that it could be trademarked. That was the first instance of gross negligence.

The second followed almost immediately – and will have left audiences just as speechless. Casemiro is not averse to throwing himself recklessly into challenges – an oddity for a player with five Champions League titles and more than 650 career appearances for club and country to his name – but how to explain his limp fall in the vague direction of Olise?

It would be nice to credit the Palace player’s shimmy for sending Casemiro into next week, but that would just be too kind to the Brazilian. He could have just stood his ground but instead contrived to produce a piece of pure slapstick.

Eriksen was not the only player with a suspect starting position from Daniel Munoz’s throw-in. Aaron Wan-Bissaka was lost in his own world – nothing unusual there – and Kobbie Mainoo was not best placed either. Mainoo then never got close to shutting down Olise, strangely running alongside and away from him rather than at him. More passive defending from a team that excel at it.

All of which left Jonny Evans and Diogo Dalot in an unenviable position with Palace players either side of them and, as they backed off and backed off, Olise found himself inside United’s penalty area with not so much as a snip at his heels by the time he shot and guided the ball into the bottom corner – the shot didn’t even require a clean finish.

There was then the extraordinary sight of Casemiro appearing to apportion blame. “Tell them I’ll fix it” Casemiro famously told United via his agent in advance of his £70 million move from Real Madrid. For a while last season, he did help to provide a sticking plaster, but the 32-year-old is now one of the symbols of how broken things have once again become.

Never before have United lost 13 games in a Premier League season and you have to go back 34 years for the last time they finished a campaign with a negative goal difference. It currently stands at minus three. That is unthinkable for a club like United.

If Ten Hag is to survive, you have to think it will be more by default than anything because United are not convinced by the other candidates out there, or because the club already feels it is facing enough upheaval without a change in the dugout. Equally, if a statement dropped in the coming days thanking Ten Hag for his services and announcing his departure would it really come as a surprise?

On this evidence, it is hard to see United winning another game this term. They have the league leaders Arsenal at Old Trafford on Sunday before the visit of Newcastle three days later and then on the final day face Brighton, who have won the last four league meetings between the teams. There is also Manchester City to play in the FA Cup final. So United still have two routes to get into Europe this season but there was nothing against Palace to suggest they can or will get over the line.

Some might regard the absence of European football as a blessing next season – more time on the training ground and a less onerous schedule – but it would hit the bank balance hard and place even greater onus on the need to sell well to raise funds to reinvest in the squad.

And, as the Palace game reaffirmed, this squad – this club – needs a lot of attention.

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