Jimbo Fisher beats Gus Malzahn again — this time in the obscene Buyout Bowl! | Commentary

Running off at the typewriter …

Nearly a decade ago, Jimbo Fisher just barely beat Gus Malzahn when Kelvin Benjamin caught a touchdown pass from Jameis Winston with 13 seconds left to give Jimbo’s Florida State Seminoles a 34-31 victory over Gus’s Auburn Tigers in the 2013 season’s national-championship game.

Now, though, Jimbo has routed Gus — not in the storied Rose Bowl but in the obscene Buyout Bowl. Jimbo’s record $77 million contract buyout when he was fired by Texas A&M earlier this week nearly quadrupled Gus’s previous-high $21.7 million buyout after he was fired by Auburn in 2020 before taking the UCF job.

It should be noted that Jimmy Sexton, the renowned college football super agent, represents Jimbo, Gus and Willie Taggart, who got nearly a $20 million buyout from FSU in 2019. Sexton, you see, is the Michael Jordan of negotiations while gullible, desperate college athletic directors are more like the Dave Corzine of the bargaining table.

As a college football fan, it’s comical, sad and maddening to see Sexton make these ADs look like a bunch of buffoons. And, quite frankly, nothing irks me more than college athletic departments spending money like drunken Democrats, er, sailors on coaching buyouts and then expecting their fans and boosters to ante up and pay the players via “NIL” compensation.

Shameful.

Do you realize if Texas A&M took that $77 million it’s giving Jimbo over the next eight years, it could pay all 85 of its scholarship football players about $113,000 a year over that same eight-year span?

According to ESPN, Power 5 and Group of 5 programs spent more than $533 million in dead money — money owed to football and basketball coaches who were fired without cause with time left on their contracts — in an 11-year period from 2010 to 2021.

Dr. B. David Ridpath — an Ohio University sports business professor and a member of The Drake Group, an organization that lobbies Congress on issues in college athletics — told ESPN that this foolish spending will only get worse unless the schools are forced to start paying the players.

“I would like to think [the Fisher buyout] would be so outrageous that the Texas public-policy groups or state legislators or federal delegation says, ‘Hold on a second. Our public institutions should not be doing this,’ ” Ridpath said. “What I fear is, this is only going to get larger. The only thing that will stem this tide is if the labor is paid and more money goes to the athletes instead of the coaches.”

Amen, Dr. Ridpath!

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times:

If our institutions of higher earning are willing to pay an already-rich middle-aged man nearly $80 million NOT to coach, then shouldn’t they pay the athletes who actually do all the work and literally put their necks (not to mention their shoulders, knees and brains) on the line every Saturday for our entertainment?

Short stuff: Question: If Tom Brady is the goat with seven Super Bowl rings, is Philip Rivers, who recently welcomed his 10th child into the world, the rabbit? … Nothing is sillier than archaic-minded college football coaches (see Billy Napier) who won’t allow true freshman players like UF star wide receiver Eugene Wilson III to talk to the media. If an 18-year-old is mature enough to play in front of 100,000 enemy fans at LSU and sign a six- or seven-figure NIL deal, they’re certainly mature enough to talk to a handful of friendly hometown reporters. … Did you see where a LeBron James museum is scheduled to open Nov. 25 in his hometown of Akron? I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see the “Silence on Human Rights Issues in China” exhibit! …

It was announced Wednesday that Cleveland Browns quarterback Deshaun Watson will undergo shoulder surgery and is out for the year. Let’s hope and pray that massage therapy will not be part of his rehab process. … Is it just me or are you starting to think Jaguars quarterback Trevor Lawrence is destined to go down in history as a No. 1 overall draft pick who turned out to be just OK? … I would love to see Texas A&M hire Dabo Swinney, if for no other reason than to watch Clemson fans blame Tyler from Spartanburg for Swinney’s departure. My guess, though, is that the Aggies will end up with a coaching mercenary like Lane Kiffin. …

Tweet of the week from Brandon Kravitz, afternoon sports radio host on FM 96.9 The Game: “The Texas A&M job is the LIV Golf of college football. Big time pay day with nothing to show for it in the end.” … So who ya got winning it all on your NBA In-Season Tournament bracket? … … We’ve heard a lot of rhetoric about “due process” coming from Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Wolverines, but not once have we heard them deny that they cheated. Why? … The Buffalo Bills are self-destructing, the New York Jets lost Aaron Rodgers before the season even started and the New England Patriots are even more pathetic than we imagined. In the race to win the AFC East, the Miami Dolphins are suddenly Max Verstappen driving his RB19 Formula One machine while the Bills, Jets and Patriots are Dorothy, Blanche and Rose from The Golden Girls taking a road trip in their Ford Country Squire wood-paneled station wagon. … Did you see where The Marvels, the latest installment in the Marvel movie franchise, bombed at the box office and had the worst opening weekend in franchise history? In other words, this is Disney’s worst nightmare since Ron DeSantis. …

This week’s Super 6 NFL Power Index, according to the BCS (Bianchi Charting System): (1) Deshaun Watson’s $230 million fully guaranteed contract, (2) Philadelphia Eagles, (3) Kansas City Chiefs, (4) Detroit Lions, (5) Miami Dolphins, (6) Dallas Cowboys. … This week’s Super 6 BCS College Football Power Index: (1) Jimmy Sexton. (2) Georgia, (3) Ohio State, (4) Michigan, (5) Florida State, (6) Washington. … Mikey likes: 49ers over Bucs by 10, Dolphins over Raiders by 17, Jaguars over Titans by 8, UCF over Texas Tech by 3 in Upset Special, Florida A&M over Bethune-Cookman by 14, Missouri over Florida by 10, Florida State over North Alabama by 100, Miami over Louisville by 1 in Upset Special II, Michigan over Maryland by 35 (stolen signals).

Last word: With today being the birthday of late, great actor Burgess Meredith, let us never forget what his most memorable character (Mickey the trainer) inspirationally told his fighter Rocky Balboa in Rocky II: “You’re gonna eat lightning. And you’re gonna crap thunder!”

Email me at mbianchi@orlandosentinel.com. Hit me up on X (formerly Twitter) @BianchiWrites and listen to my Open Mike radio show every weekday from 6 to 9:30 a.m. on FM 96.9, AM 740 and 969TheGame.com/listen