Dwight Gooden’s Mets number retirement a long-awaited opportunity to celebrate career

Heartfelt as it was on this April Sunday at Citi Field, Doc Gooden’s number retirement ceremony was unlike almost any other, simply because his legacy has long been as complicated as his rise to superstardom 40 years ago was magical. 

It was a day that was a long time coming because, while Gooden’s off-the-field issues with drugs may have kept him from maximizing his Hall of Fame talent, his first three years in the big leagues alone were franchise-changing; his unparalleled brilliance at 19, 20, and 21 years old that helped turn the Mets from irrelevant to the toast of the town, as well as World Series champions. 

Yet for Doc himself it meant so much more than overdue recognition of his impact as a pitcher. It was also a celebration, as he called it, of his life off the field as well, his ability to survive the demons that haunted him for years after baseball, and overcome the sense of guilt and regret he carried with him for so many years. 

“It took me a long time to get to a place where I could forgive myself,” was the way Gooden put it, speaking at a press conference Sunday morning. 

He was answering a question about famously missing the parade the day after the ’86 World Series. Gooden has told the story repeatedly, about how he wound up doing drugs all night with people he barely knew, and how much it ate at him over the years.

But on this day he wasn’t looking back anymore, having come to grips with so much of his past, in no small part because of the Mets, by retiring his number, finally said all was forgiven. 

“I never thought this would happen,” he said, “because of my struggles off the field. I was sick for a long time. I never thought I would get the chance to thank the fans for all their support over the years. So now I’m not thinking about the past. I’m thinking about where I am today, and how important this day is to me. 

“I don’t think I’d be here today without the support of fans, family, teammates…all the text messages I got or even social media messages when I was down or struggling. People care for you until you get to the point where you can love yourself again. That’s why I look at this as a celebration of my career and my life off the field as well.”

Jay Horwitz, the Mets’ long-time former PR director who has remained close to both Gooden and Darryl Strawberry (who will have his number retired in June) over the years, took it a step further. 

“He’s in a good place right now,” Horwitz told me. “He knows he has to keep fighting the battle (with drug addiction) but this number retirement has given him a sense of dignity. He’s been making a lot of appearances, visiting hospitals. This has given him a new sense of self-worth.

“For years he just felt he let a lot of people down, and what he wanted more than anything was the chance to tell Mets’ fans how much he appreciated their support, not just during his playing days but through all of his struggles. Today he finally got that chance.”

Out beyond second base, where the Citi Field groundskeepers had cut the outfield grass so his number 16 was displayed for the crowd to see, Gooden made just that point to the fans during the ceremony that included many family members and former teammates. 

“I’m very happy to share this with all you guys,” he said with a smile, as fans erupted in cheers. 

To drive the point home, Doc told the story of how hard he tried to convince the Mets to bring him back toward the end of his career. 

“After ’94 they cut ties with me,’’ he said, referring to the year-long suspension he received from MLB for drug usage. “I understood why, but I wanted to stay to make things right with you guys.”

He then told of making phone calls to the Mets three different times during his later years, when he played with the Yankees, the Cleveland Indians, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, and finally the Yankees in 2000, the final year of his career.

“I was always told there was no room,” he said. 

Gooden even joked with the fans about it a bit. They booed good-naturedly when he mentioned pitching for the Yankees, in two separate stints, and Doc smiled and patted his heart.  

“I’m a Met, I’m a Met,” he said, chuckling. 

He was hurt that the organization wouldn’t embrace a late-career return, and clearly it took Steve Cohen buying the team to make this number retirement ceremony happen, but all these years later Gooden said he was too happy to dwell on the past. 

“Today it just feels like the timing is right,” he said. 

Gooden didn’t show much emotion during his speech but did get choked up during his press conference, talking about how much this would have meant to his late mom and dad. 

“It was my dad’s dream at first, for me to pitch in the big leagues,” he said. 

By high school it became young Dwight’s dream, and though he said Sunday that having his number retired was never part of the dream, his nephew, former All-Star Gary Sheffield, explained that Doc knew exactly what this day would have meant to his dad. 

“His dad used to tell both of us that you haven’t done anything just by making it to the big leagues,” Sheffield said. “It’s the mark you make and how you finish. That became more complicated for Doc and our whole family, with everything he went through off the field. We all did what we could for him because we wanted to see him through to the finish line. 

“That’s what this day is for him. He made it.”