Shutdown Corner - NFL

Shutdown Corner

Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:41 am EDT

The rhythm got the Miami Dolphins. Hey, we were all warned.

By MJD

It will have absolutely nothing to do with the product you see on the field, and it only makes headlines because a celebrity is involved, but I feel compelled to comment on it anyway. Gloria Estefan and her husband are buying a small part of the Miami Dolphins.

You want to know why I want to comment on it? It's because I have a picture in my head of Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter(notes), standing in front of the stereo in the Dolphins locker room, wearing a teal half-shirt and a jock strap, dancing his heart out to "Turn the Beat Around." And if a teammate tries to approach the stereo to turn of the Gloria Estefan, Joey punches them in the face, screams, "IT'S GLORIA TIME UP IN THE PIECE, SUCKA!" and goes right back into his aerobic, passionate, pulsating dance routine. All the while, Tony Sparano wants to address the team, but he knows that he has to wait until Joey Porter proclaims that Gloria Time is over. It could be hours.

So I wanted to share that with you. I don't know why.

Also, just to be thorough here: I have attended a Gloria Estefan concert. It was a long time ago, and I was very young. The most vivid memory I have from it is at the end, I wouldn't get up and dance because I didn't want to risk being uncool, even though the extended dance version of "Conga" was practically begging me to get up and pretend I was a Cuban dance floor legend. To this day, I deeply regret that I didn't.

Anyway, yeah, um ... Miami Dolphins. Football. Gloria Estefan. I'm pretty sure she supports the 3-4 defense. GRRR, football.

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40 Comments

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  1. Seth C
    1. Posted by Seth C Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:34 am EDT

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    the gayiest statement I've heard, that would be the last image in my head. damn, mjd
  2. Koharu Kusumi
    2. Posted by Koharu Kusumi Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:53 am EDT

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    I'd still hit that.
  3. Philip
    3. Posted by Philip Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:04 am EDT

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    I can now say without a doubt, this will be the LAST time I will ever click on any link having to do with Shutdown Corner. Unless it's news about the internet banning him from ever tainting another website with his inept, non-sensical blogging.
  4. simon w
    4. Posted by simon w Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:59 am EDT

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    You know how I know you're gay? You went to a Gloria Estafan concert.
  5. simon w
    5. Posted by simon w Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:05 am EDT

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    I also like the fact that once you were at said concert you chose not to dance because THAT is what would make you uncool. Ignore the haters MJD I found this blog very entertaining.
  6. THE TRUTH
    6. Posted by THE TRUTH Tue Jun 23, 2009 5:05 am EDT

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    S h u t u p ! ! !
  7. Max_Powers
    7. Posted by Max_Powers Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:48 am EDT

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    Sounds like you were cool beyond your years when you were young.
    And now you're a complete douche. Go MJD!!!
    I like this blog anyway.
  8. Johnny Bravo
    8. Posted by Johnny Bravo Tue Jun 23, 2009 8:04 am EDT

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    That was a minute of my life I can never get back. Thanks MJD!
  9. road rage
    9. Posted by road rage Tue Jun 23, 2009 8:40 am EDT

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    Joey should punch you in the face for haveing GAY day dreams about him!!
  10. brian b
    10. Posted by brian b Tue Jun 23, 2009 8:47 am EDT

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    yo, she's puerto rican b!
  11. Sean Patrick
    11. Posted by Sean Patrick Tue Jun 23, 2009 9:14 am EDT

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    You say "Joey Porter" I immediately think "Terry Tate". Why is that?
  12. Huck it deep
    12. Posted by Huck it deep Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:03 am EDT

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    A real reporter might have actually added value to the already published article regarding this sale. MJD, if you are going to be a sports reporter, don't use the premise of sports as a means to write about absolutely nothing of value. Unless you are doing this as a last resort to feed your family, stop being a pansy.
  13. warren t
    13. Posted by warren t Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:20 am EDT

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    Real Gloria Time would be Gloria in the locker room with the 1/2 teal shirt and.......well not jock strap.........Love the Gloria/Sound Machine, and love the Dolphins, but please do not put these awful images in our heads you crazy wabbit reporters!!! Let's just play some good football..
  14. Keith S
    14. Posted by Keith S Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:30 am EDT

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    I'm with Simon here, MJD, don't let the haters win. It's June, there's not a whole lot going on with the NFL, but now I get to picture Porter dancing around all Flashdance-like. And that entertains me. Thank you.
  15. Traci
    15. Posted by Traci Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:37 am EDT

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    great, now we have something in common with the cowboys, gonna be interesting to see if the players can stay focused on the field and not look up to the suites looking for gloria , like romo does, jeeze , wonder who looks better , gloria in her prime or what was that broads name that romo went fumblemenuts over.
  16. daddymag
    16. Posted by daddymag Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:57 am EDT

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    Damn, now Ray Lewis gonna want a trade. JAZZ HANDS!
  17. pikkoro
    17. Posted by pikkoro Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:31 am EDT

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    After this, Debbie Gibson want to buy the New York Jets. Tiffany's buying Detroit Lions. thought it would not happen..
  18. SNOT BUBBLE KOOLAID
    18. Posted by SNOT BUBBLE KOOLAID Tue Jun 23, 2009 12:38 pm EDT

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    Hey el diablo you dont think the name packers is gay you douchebag fudge packer!!
  19. OzFraud
    19. Posted by OzFraud Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:23 pm EDT

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    The "Backdoor to paradise" comments on this board is off the charts! Undercover "Skid Mark" Assassins! All of you!
  20. Ouchyfish
    20. Posted by Ouchyfish Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:40 pm EDT

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    No one puts baby in a corner
  21. NFLRULZ
    21. Posted by NFLRULZ Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:19 pm EDT

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    Best #1 comment EVAR!!!
    And Id bone her
  22. Steel
    22. Posted by Steel Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:44 pm EDT

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    Hey MJD, do you have alot of pictures in your head of guys only wearing jock straps and half shirts? I know, to quote Jerry & George "Not that there's anything wrong with that".
  23. Irish Bastard
    23. Posted by Irish Bastard Tue Jun 23, 2009 6:25 pm EDT

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    GEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.........MJD.....STATEMENTS LIKE YOU MADE ABOUT "
    "I have a picture in my head of Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter(notes), standing in front of the stereo in the Dolphins locker room, wearing a teal half-shirt and a jock strap, dancing his heart out "
    DOES NOT SOUND VERY GOOD FOR YOU ,UNLESS,AND THATS OK ,IF THATS YOUR THING.
  24. black_rose_immortal_67
    24. Posted by black_rose_immortal_67 Tue Jun 23, 2009 9:29 pm EDT

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    Holy crap that entire article screams "I'm gay and this is my coming out party!"
  25. B
    25. Posted by B Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:57 pm EDT

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    I think this is a good thing for the Dolphins. I have been to a GE show and any musician would love to go to that show! The latin percussion and the energy from the crowd was worth it! The writer did not dance? Bummer for him. He may have scored because I was with a date but after the show I thought goin single would have been a sure thing on a hookup or at least a few numbers. Ya don't dance at rock concerts but not dancing at GE concert makes u look gay when all the women there want to dance. This small part ownership is good for my Dolphins. I"m all for it!

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