How David Freese opening up on battle with depression helps everyone
David Freese was on top of the world back in the fall of 2011. Or at least that’s how it appeared to those on the outside looking in. At the time he was playing a key role in the St. Louis Cardinals run to a World Series championship, even earning MVP honors for his heroic performance in the Fall Classic.
What we didn’t know then, is that Freese was actually at or near the lowest point in his life. The now 33-year-old major leaguer revealed as much in a recent article from USA Today’s Bob Nightengale, which chronicles Freese’s battles with depression, anxiety and alcohol abuse.
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“I was depressed,” Freese said. I was always depressed. I never tried to do anything to myself, but I didn’t care about my life. I didn’t care what would happen to me. It was almost to a point that if this is my time, so be it? And there was definitely a lack of care about my well-being at certain times, for sure.”
It’s startling to learn of the depths of Freese’s depression. As observers, we only saw the highs. We watched as Freese willed his hometown Cardinals through Game 6, first with a game-tying two-run triple in the ninth inning, and then a walk-off home run in the 11th. One day later, we watched as Freese and his city celebrated together after bringing the trophy home.
What we didn’t see were the daily struggles that nearly derailed every triumph we so vividly remember. We didn’t see the battles Freese fought to not only stay on the field, but to make it through another day.
Freese says he has battled depression his entire life, a factor in his decision to relinquish a college scholarship after high school to Missouri. He instead just wanted to be like any other student, giving him plenty of time for partying and alcohol. There were three public drunken-driving incidents, including a December 2009 arrest in which his blood alcohol content was measured at .23, nearly three times the legal limit.
Those episodes barely scratch the surface. There was the Thanksgiving Day afternoon in 2012 when he crashed his Range Rover into a tree. The countless mornings he awoke and had no recollection of even getting into bed. The blackouts. The constant feeling of lethargy and fatigue.
“I’ve had moments like that since high school, to be honest,’’ Freese says. “It’s been 15-plus years of, ‘I can’t believe I’m still here.’”
As kids we’re taught to never judge a book by its cover. That’s because we never truly know what’s going on in the heart and mind of another person. We don’t know what they’re going through, and many times that’s because they’re not willing to let us in.
That Freese has pulled back not only let’s us in, it helps us to understand even more. It shows us that the players we celebrate and criticize are just like the rest of us. They have weaknesses, and sometimes they even fight their battles in the brightest of spotlights.
It also reminds us that it’s a battle that doesn’t have to be fought alone. There are always people willing to help and willing to understand, which makes it a battle worth fighting.
For Freese, there were several moments that helped him turn the corner. On Thanksgiving Day in 2012, Freese crashed his Range Rover into a tree. One week later, he was traded to the Los Angeles Angels in a deal the Cardinals felt was best for his well-being and for the future of the ballclub. Perhaps the biggest turning point happened around that same period, when he met his now wife, Mairin.
She’s done more than help Freese, she has flat out challenged him to face his battle head-on, which he credits with leading to positive changes.
Now Freese is back in a pretty good spot as a regular for the Pittsburgh Pirates. But his battle is still on-going and probably always will be. That’s because the biggest challenge depression presents is Its relentlessness. But Freese has done well to manage it, and through sharing his story we hope it help others to challenge themselves and to continue fighting every day.
There’s a lot more to the story and we encourage you to check it out over at USA Today.
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Mark Townsend is a writer for Big League Stew on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at bigleaguestew@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter!
