The awkward moment occurred while the Tigers were mounting a threat against starter Justin Masterson in the seventh inning. With two men aboard and one out, Acta casually strolled to the mound to discuss strategy, and perhaps gauge how much Masterson had left in the tank as he approached 100 pitches.

Meanwhile, out in the Indians bi-level bullpen stationed in right center field, the interpretation was that Acta's appearance signified the end of Masterson's afternoon, which is an understandable assumption. It's very rare that a manager's visit doesn't involve a pitching change. But in this case, the signal never came, and reliever Joe Smith, who had jogged down the stairs and made it about ten yards into the outfield, was forced to make a U-turn and camp out in the lower portion of the bullpen.

As it turned out, Smith's services were not required at any point during the game. Masterson escaped the inning without any damage. Setup man Vinnie Pestano followed with a perfect eighth inning. And then closer Chris Perez converted his 16th consecutive save since opening day, as Cleveland expanded their lead to four games in the American League Central overall, and six games over the heavily favored Tigers.

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After watching the replay several times, I'm in agreement that Campana's status should be elevated from regular guy/fourth outfielder to, at the very least, a superhero in training. He's just going to need a cape, a fancy suit and his very own theme song to complete the transformation.

Well, make that a cape and a suit, because the song has already been taken care of by Matt Spiegel — a Chicago sports radio personality who co-hosts from 9-1 every weekday on 670 The Score — who wrote, produced and recorded The Tony Campana Song — a short, but humorous parody set to Barry Manilow's Copacabana.

The parody was originally recorded shortly after Campana's major-league debut last season, but it's about to see a surge in popularity after WGN aired it during Wednesday night's telecast. In fact, if you're interested, you can find the Tony Campana parody, along with other Chicago sports-related parodies recorded by Spiegel and his partner Dan McNeil, on iTunes.

As for my personal take: The Tony Campana Song gets two thumbs up because it meets the only two criteria I have for parody songs: First, the lyrics are spot on, but more importantly than that, it doesn't overstay its welcome.

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Yes. Well, unless he was just foolin'. Because, according to the bobblehead dolls of his likeness that sell on MLB.com, Roy ain't no righty. Normal righty, anyhow. Thanks to Zoo With Roy, the first bolg blog to break this nation-wide, for shedding some light on this left-wing scandal.

[Related: S.F. Giants immortalize golfer Rory McIlroy in bobblehead form]

If this bobblehead is the truth, Halladay is either a famous LEFT-handed pitcher who's been faking us out, or a righty who has sustained a head injury, thinks he's a lefty and doesn't know how to wear a glove or stand on a pitching mound any longer. He also looks like Billy Bob Thornton from "Sling Blade." Or some combination therein.

Note: MLB.com has since removed the Halladay bobblehead from its site.

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Such was the case for Will Smith on Thursday night. Not only did the Kansas City Royals left-hander make his major-league debut, but he did so at Yankee Stadium with Derek Jeter serving as his first batter.

The results: Smith lasted only 3 1/3 innings in the Royals' 8-3 loss, giving up five earned runs and three homers as Ned Yost's plan to call up and start a lefty against the Yankees didn't produce its intended results.

"I was nervous a little bit," Smith later told MLB.com. "You're facing a future Hall of Famer to start your career in Derek Jeter. That was cool, but at the same time, you've still got to go out and make your pitches and get people out."

Smith's fairy tale actually went according to the script for one hitter. Jeter grounded out to the shortstop for the first out of Smith's career. Smith's family — which had traveled from his hometown in Georgia to watch his debut from Yankee Stadium's fancy seats — looked like this:

Alas, the awwww, what a cute family! factor didn't last as long as when teammate Eric Hosmer hit his first big-league homer at Yankee Stadium last season. That's because Curtis Granderson followed Jeter with a home run into the right-field seats and Mark Teixeira drew a walk, setting the table for Smith to face his second eventual Hall of Famer in the inning.

[MLB Full Count: Watch live look-ins and highlights for free all season long]

Watch as A-Rod gets up to no good, starts causing trouble in Smith's neighborhood:

Now look at the reaction from Smith's family. Talk about your buzzkill:

A-Rod's dinger ended a drought of 52 straight at-bats without a homer. He'd later add one off Smith in the third for the 60th two-homer game of his career.

Despite looking less than fresh on the mound during the game, Smith acted like a veteran after it. He held his head high, shook the loss off and took it like a man.

"Just being able to be out there, in the big leagues," Smith told the Kansas City Star. "It doesn't get any better than that. That was the dream part. The outcome wasn't. Bad location. They hit them, and they hit them a long way."

As for his mother Kay, who became a bit of a minor celebrity during the game as she very clearly wore her emotions on her sleeve during her son's outing?

"She was nervous. She's been like that since I was in high school,'' Smith said. ''She and my dad ... my dad used to pace around the stadium. They always get nervous and always will be.''

Smith was ranked the No. 14 prospect in the Royals organization by MLB.com at the beginning of the season. Yost said he'll get the second start of his career next Tuesday against Cleveland and perhaps that's all Smith can ask for. As some diehard Royals fans will remember, the only other Royals pitcher to make his big-league debut in Yankee Stadium was Eduardo Villacis in 2004. Plucked straight from Double-A to fill in for an injured Darrell May, Villacis gave up five runs in 3 1/3 innings of work  — same as Smith — but never pitched in the big leagues again.

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The Steinbrenner family says it is not interested in selling the New York Yankees and dividing up the huge pinstriped pie that patriarch George left behind with his death in July 2010.

But a rather thin article in Thursday's editions of the New York Daily News claims otherwise, speculating that the family must have dollar signs in its eyes after Frank McCourt brought home a huge windfall with the $2 billion-plus sale of the Los Angeles Dodgers to Magic Johnson and Co. earlier this year.

From the New York Daily News:

Multiple baseball and finance sources told the Daily News they are hearing that the team the Steinbrenner family has led to seven World Series titles could be put on the block in the wake of the record sale price of $2.175 billion the Los Angeles Dodgers went for in April.

"There has been chatter all around the banking and financial industries in the city for a couple of weeks now," one high-level baseball source told The News.

"Chatter" can be defined many ways, of course. It's the type of word you use when you've got nothing but outside speculation and want to group it together into an article that will let you win the New York tabloid war for the day. It's also the sort of thing you're able to hear almost  anywhere in one of the richest cities in the world. Show me a banker who's not talking about an enormous potential profit — no matter who's taking it — and I'll show you a bad banker.

Yankees team president Randy Levine is quoted in the NYDN article as saying there is "absolutely, positively nothing to" the speculation. Meanwhile, Hal Steinbrenner read the article on Thursday morning and then sent a few national reporters, including Jon Heyman of CBS Sports, the following message:

"I just read the Daily News story. It is complete fiction. Me and my family have no intention to sell the Yankees and expect it to be in the family for years to come."

If the Steinbrenners were to sell the team, they'd be taking an enormous profit. Ol' man George bought the team from CBS in 1973 for $10 million. The network took a $3 million loss on that deal, but the Steinbrenners could potentially make $3 billion in a sale of the team. That's an unthinkable return on investment.

But while the paper tries to make a case that the time is ripe for the Steinbrenners to sell the team, I believe the family when it says they're not posting a for sale sign. For one, they had the benefit of escaping that hefty estate tax when they inherited the team in 2010. You really think they're going to voluntarily take a huge tax hit just two years later?

For another, it doesn't matter if Derek Jeter or Mariano Rivera's time with the team is approaching an end. It's the team's TV deal, ballpark and brand that gives the franchise its worth and it's hard to see it becoming less valuable over time.

Look, there's no doubt the Steinbrenners are becoming more fiscally conservative under the sons — at least relative to their win-at-all-costs father. They're looking to get out from under the luxury tax and to get a taste of that huge revenue sharing pile that baseball is bringing in each year. That's only going to get easier as some of the big stars head off into retirement.

Also, while it would appear that neither Hal nor Hank get the same kind of ego boost from owning the team that their father did, I think they still like the identity that owning the Yankees gives the family name and recognize that it all goes away if they sell the team to somebody else. They're not going to destroy their father's legacy, especially when he's been gone for less than two years.

Considering all of that, I'm going to throw some "chatter" of my own out there: The Yankees aren't going to be owned by anyone else, anytime soon.

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Flipping out: Little Leaguers, please: Do not try this at home. It will go in the books as a 4-6 force out, but that's only because they don't put pictures on scorecards. With the go-ahead run on second base in the seventh inning, Cincinnati Reds second baseman Brandon Phillips needed to keep Michael Bourn's sharp grounder in the infield and get an out somewhere — if possible. Phillips dived to his right, knocked the ball down and kept it close enough that he was able to flip it with his bare hand — while contorting his body — to teammate Zack Cozart just before pinch runner Tim Hudson could slide into the second base bag. Phillips never had a grip on the ball, but he was in control in his own way.

Two innings later... : In the bottom of the ninth, Todd Frazier made everyone flip out in a different way, ending what began as a pitcher's duel between Bronson Arroyo and Atlanta's Tommy Hanson with an oppo taco against Cristhian Martinez for a 2-1 victory and a 3-0 series lead sweep at Great American Ball Park. Frazier didn't get all of it, but you don't always have to in that stadium. From the Associated Press:

This one barely cleared the wall in right field, landing in the first row of seats an estimated 355 feet away.

''I knew when I hit it that I got a lot of it,'' Frazier said. ''I was hoping it was enough. It just got over. Fine with me.''

The teams combined for 11 home runs in the three-game set. Cincy's won five straight.

Cole Hamels, stopper: Round two of Cole Hamels vs. Bryce Harper yielded no intentionally hit batters. It was pretty one-sided, though, with Hamels pitching eight shutout innings in a 4-1 victory for the Phillies, who stopped a four-game losing streak. Washington had won six straight in Philly.

New chief in town?: The Cleveland Indians aren't going away, are they? Jason Kipnis scraped his arm and drew blood on home plate sliding in for the go-ahead run (with the help of a throwing error by Prince Fielder) in a 4-2 victory against the Detroit Tigers. It also guaranteed Cleveland a series victory against the defending AL Central champs, who won the final 10 meetings between the two a season ago.

* * *

Quote of the Day: ''When you give it up, you can't keep giving it up or it's going to be a long night." — Cardinals right-hander Lance Lynn after allowing three runs in the first inning, before rebounding with five scoreless innings in a 6-3 victory against the Padres.

* * *

Photo of the Day: Barry Zito takes a walk of shame and shadows.

Jeez, Beezy, it's not so bad. The Giants' Zito allowed eight runs — four earned — along with five hits and four walks over three innings in an 8-5 loss at Milwaukee. OK, that's pretty bad.

* * *

Three Facts for the Water Cooler:

• The Diamondbacks beat the Dodgers 11-4, averting what would have been the second sweep for L.A. at Chase Field in the park's 14-year history.

• Alex Liddi of the Mariners became the second player born in Italy to hit a grand slam (salami, if you will) in a 5-3 victory against the Rangers. The first: Reno Bertoia, in 1958, for the Tigers. The next thing for Liddi: Get the ball to Tommy Lasorda for a blessing.

• Alex Rodriguez snapped a 52 at-bat streak without a home run, hitting two for the Yankees in an 8-3 victory against the Royals.

* * *

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Josh Hamilton, that's coming out of your game check! Be sure to replace your divot. Way to make a good impression. At least tell Alex Liddi that you're sorry for robbing him.

It's a good thing Hambone ran into that particular part of the fence at Safeco Field, because it appears to be part of a gate, and would offer more give than one panel over in front of the bleachers. Hit the wrong part of the fence at that speed, and his teammates on the Texas Rangers might be putting up a chalk outline of his body for real.

It was the second terrific catch by Hamilton against the Seattle Mariners on Tuesday night. He also robbed Casper Wells of extra bases with this grab — but did no harm to the Safeco fence that time. He could have, though, and it would have been OK because then he would have surpassed his insurance deductible.

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You don't need to be as smart as Keith Law to notice the spelling mistake in the banner above.

But it should be noted that it was the ESPN baseball expert who first alerted us to the "Failll" banner that currently hangs over the Big 12 "Baseballl" Championship at RedHawks Field in Oklahoma City. Far be it from us to point and laugh at a typo — y'all know the Stew has been guilty of a few (thousand) over the past few seasons— but, well, it's hard not to point and laugh at this one.

Yes, it's easy to hit an extra key somewhere along the way. It's worth an extra chuckle, though, when that typo is somehow transformed into a giant banner and then hung above a gathering of the nation's finest student-athletes without anyone noticing. Edjamacashun FTW!

[ Y! Sports Fantasy Minute: Fantasy baseball's most valuable closer ]

Then again, we're talking college athletics here. When the Big 12 has 10 teams and the Big Ten has 12, perhaps getting it somewhere close is good enough.

By the way, we're taking the Lllonghorns over Baylllor in Sunday's title game.

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At 22-21, the fourth-place New York Yankees aren't quite in Kansas City Royals territory just yet. Still, I look at this picture of a diving Mike Moustakas and can't help but wonder if the half dozen Yankee fans  are more terrified of the potential symbolism for their struggling team than they are concerned for the well being of the hustling Royals third baseman.

So have at it, amateur Internet copy editors of the world. How should this caption read?

Follow the jump for winners from our last C-a-C featuring the boys in blue: Partying like it's 1988

1st — AndrewScott48. "Hey. You guys wanna hear a story about how I won those rings on your fingers?"

2nd — Mickey. "So I was pumping my fist while running the bases and I thought, Tommy isn't all that special I can eat pasta and manage a ballclub. All downhill from there."

3rd — Jeremiah. "Selig let a parking lot attendant run this place? No wonder they still show us up on the big screen every night."

HM — Boops. "OK, Orel I'm going to start you in Game 1 tonight. Kirk, because you are hobbling I am going to only use you as a pinch hitter. Orel, why aren't you in uniform yet? Kirk, that isn't our uniform, where is Arizona?"

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At least there's Tony Campana. He's a holdover from the previous administration, but Campana has batted .306 with a .359 on-base percentage (that could be better) and 12 stolen bases. Campana optimistically boasted in spring training that he could steal 100 bases if given the chance. Perhaps he could. But his speed has made him fun to watch. Like here, after an errant pickoff attempt against the Houston Astros on Tuesday night:

"Uh oh," goes Cubs broadcaster Len Kasper. But never fear, Len! Campana's acrobatic (and remarkably lucky) slide somehow eludes the tag of infielder Matt Downs at third base. The ninja move from the government was part-Pete Rose, part-Superman, part-Sam Fuld.

He doesn't touch him with the glove. Amazing.

A year ago after Fuld got off to a hot start at the plate and made some astounding diving catches in the outfield, the Tampa Bay Rays hastily put together a superhero cape giveaway day in Fuld's name. The rest of Fuld's season wasn't as super, but that shouldn't stop the Cubs from stealing the idea and getting Campana a cape of his own. Or tights. Big red boots?

It's either that or give out free haircuts in the Moe Howard-bowl style to honor the legacy of Pete Rose. (A cape is better.) Oh, by the way, the Cubs stranded Campana at third and lost 2-1, their eighth straight defeat.

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On Tuesday, after a little more than five months as the second-most powerful man in the organization behind new owner Jim Crane, Luhnow changed jobs again — to ticket-taking usher at Minute Maid Park for a game against the Chicago Cubs.

Sure, the Astros are outperforming most preseason expectations, but didn't Crane expect to have Luhnow running the show for at least a year or two? Actually, the job change isn't permanent, as Alyson Footer reports in her blog, it's part of a program the team is running called "Share the Experience." It's like "Undercover Boss" without the disguises and sneaking around. Luhnow even wore a name tag that said, "Jeff." (Along with a button that says, in English, "I speak Spanish." And he does. He was raised in Mexico City.)

You might be wondering: Was his entire experience like the 30-second video snippet? Did every fan passing through the south Home Plate Entrance on their way to their seat fail to recognize Luhnow during his two-hour shift?

Almost nobody did.

Fans barely batted an eye as Luhnow scanned tickets and greeted fans with a friendly "enjoy the game." He fielded not a single question about who he's selecting in the upcoming draft. No one asked him who's starting the second game of the doubleheader in Denver on Monday. In fact, Luhnow was recognized exactly once, by a regular at Minute Maid Park who puts up the "K" signs in the outfield at just about every game.

Luhnow and other Astros executives doing this sounds like a sound exercise for the company. Even if it's a bit of a publicity gimmick (you're welcome!), it makes Luhnow come off very well. How can you not like this guy when he says empathetic things about ushers such as:

"It's exhausting. And I only did it for two hours. They're here all night."

While in college at Penn and Northwestern business school, Luhnow also nurtured other passions by playing fantasy baseball — another sign that he's a regular guy. In 2003 at age 37, Luhnow transitioned into a data analysis job with the St. Louis Cardinals. By 2005, he was overseeing their drafts. Two World Series rings and several minor-league championships later, the Astros named him GM. And then demoted him to usher. Just for a game, though.

Big BLS H/N: Zachary Levine of Ultimate Astros

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On Tuesday night, it was the latter.

Tulowitzki's signature defensive play has always been the incredibly graceful backhand and jump-throw combo from deep in the hole at short. But over the years he's also proven to be just as graceful as his idol Derek Jeter at flagging down balls ticketed for center field. After chasing them down, he often punctuates the play with a standard pirouette and an accurate throw.

On this Tulotastic play, however, Tulowitzki had to combine elements from both, using the pirouette and jump-throw together, to retire Miami's Bryan Petersen and create one of the smoothest defensive gems we've seen in 2012.

That was the good.

Unfortunately, in typical Rockies fashion during their ugly stretch of baseball, the buzz wore off quickly. On Tulowitzki's next routine chance two innings later, the two-time gold glover sailed the ball over first baseman Todd Helton's head for his eighth error of the season (after committing only six in 2011). It was an error that ultimately led to the deciding run in the Marlins 7-6 victory.

And to make matters worse for Tulowitzki, he came to bat in the ninth inning with the tying run 90 feet away and only one out. He promptly popped out to his counterpart Jose Reyes.

Needless to say, Tulowitzki is going to need more of the spectacular — and less of the game-changing errors and unproductive outs — if he plans on living up to the advertised "Mr. Everything" tag, or helping the Rockies recreate the magic of 2007 and 2009.

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In his second game back from a suspension for a tantrum that resulted in an umpire getting hit with Lawrie's batting helmet after an angry bounce, Lawrie lined a pitch foul that struck first base umpire Andy Fletcher in the left arm during the fourth inning.

Fletcher briefly left the game for treatment but was back by the fifth. The Tampa Bay Rays won the game 8-5.

While the incident a week ago created much conjecture about how much responsibility Lawrie should take for his helmet hitting ump Bill Miller in the hip after Miller made two bad calls to incur Lawrie's rage, this one is just an odd coincidence. Lawrie had no beef with Fletcher. And even if he did, it's hard to imagine even a major leaguer having that kind of aim. (Joe West probably would have accused Lawrie of doing it on purpose. Good thing he was umping another base.)

''It seemed like the further he moved, the more the ball chased him,'' Lawrie said. ''Just a bit of bad luck that it hit him.''

Just a bit. What's funny, or probably not funny if you're Lawrie, is that he had another dispute with a different umpire in the eighth.

[MLB Full Count: Watch live look-ins and highlights for free all season long]

Rob Drake ruled Lawrie was out as part of a double play, saying Lawrie's momentum on a slide carried him past second base, and that Lawrie did not tag second on his way back to first on a fly to center by Yan Gomes. Uncertain of what was going on, Lawrie ran up to Drake to inquire. Lawrie got animated, but he kept his helmet on this time. He also was escorted away quickly by coach Torey Lovullo.

''All I wanted to know was what was going on,'' Lawrie said. ''I didn't know what happened. For me, I didn't go to third base. I slid in, popped up and went back (to first). If I'm getting called out for something, I'm just wondering why I'm getting called out. I just didn't get an answer tonight.''

Regardless: Is that a No. 13, or a target on Lawrie's back?

The video evidence does not seem to support Drake's call, but he might have been fooled by the shuffling of Lawrie's feet around the bag. It looked indecisive and made him appear to have not re-touched the bag. But if he doesn't take a step past the bag, which he didn't, he doesn't have to re-touch. It was the wrong call, but an explainable mistake. That's not how every observer sees it, though. The Brady and Lang duo on 590-AM The Fan out of Toronto said the ump was right and Lawrie was wrong, and that the Jays need to do something to check Lawrie's emotions. "This is not a one-time incident. It's a trend."

Lawrie retorted on Twitter (not really the best place to do it, but ... ):

For all u people who think I was goin at that umpire tonight ?That is totally false.. I just wanted to know Wat the call was so chill out...

And at the radio station specifically, Lawrie said:

@FAN590 I didn't erupt @ all actually ... So ya ..

— Brett Lawrie (@blawrie13) May 23, 2012

So, yeah! But Lawrie, telling other people to chill out? How ironic, Alanis. He hasn't given himself any margin for error after the Miller helmet toss. He got the benefit of a doubt and a light suspension. But the umps are going to be watching. However, as long as he keeps his helmet attached, the Jays shouldn't discourage Lawrie too much from being emotional. We might want robot umpires, but not robot players.

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Three years in the making: Bryce Harper hit his third triple of the season already, and he drove in two runs against Roy Halladay to lead the Washington Nationals to a 5-2 victory at Philadelphia on Tuesday night. The 19-year-old said in Mark Zuckerman's Nats Insider — in a post titled "Broad Street Beatdown" — that he's actually been scouting Halladay for three years and he couldn't wait to exploit a perceived weakness. Harper's two-run triple put the Nats ahead in the third inning and keyed their sixth straight victory at Citizens Bank Park.

"I've been watching him for about three years," Harper said. "He throws a first-pitch curveball to so many people, and they just let it get over the plate. So I was just really trying to get something up in that situation and get something going. We had two guys on, and you had to get them in."

Halladay, who came in with a dominating record against Washington, reflected on what's going wrong in Philly, which has lost four straight and is 21-23 overall.

Dodger time: The injury riddled Los Angeles Dodgers improved to 30-13 by picking up an unlikely 8-7 victory at Arizona. Ivan DeJesus muscled-up for a two-out, two-run, go-ahead double in the ninth against closer J.J. Putz, and shortstop Dee Gordon hung in there on defense to help turn an acrobatic game-ending double play with runners at the corners in the bottom of the ninth. Arizona squandered a five-run lead in the seventh, and is 11 1/2 games out of first place. The Dodgers are 7-2 without Matt Kemp in the lineup.

Waino bueno once again: Adam Wainwright tossed his first shutout since August 2010, a 4-0 victory against San Diego, which gave the St. Louis Cardinals' top starter a big sense of relief. Wainwright said he told teammate Jake Westbrook this might be the best feeling he's ever had pitching — which is saying something given Wainwright's accomplishments. Waino missed the 2011 season because of Tommy John elbow ligament replacement surgery:

''All of the emotion came from just knowing it's been over a year since I've done that,'' Wainwright said. ''Mentally, I was so much better.''

* * *

You really like me!: Closer Chris Perez apparently made up with Cleveland Indians fans, who cheered him like crazy before and after he picked up the save in a 5-3 victory against the Tigers. Perez has made a couple of rants recently about the lack of fan support at the Indians ballpark, and has wondered why the overall mood in Cleveland isn't better, given that his team's in first place. He's even willing to give away tickets to games to boost attendance. Fans have responded (mostly) kindly and Perez seemed appreciate it on Twitter:

Wow, I'm truly humbled, honored, and grateful for the reception Cleveland! Huge team win for us tonight. Let's keep it going tomorrow

* * *

Quote of the Day: ''I had chills going through my body. It's such a great feeling to see the fans on their feet like that. You know, it really means a lot to have the support of the fans behind us. It's a pretty special feeling.'' — Orioles left-hander Brian Matusz, who allowed two hits and had nine strikeouts in a 4-1 victory against the Red Sox. The O's have won six of eight and at 28-16 sit atop the AL East after finishing last in 2011. Matusz, a top pitcher before injuries came, had a 10.69 ERA and made two trips to the disabled list in '11.

* * *

Play of the Day: Get off your butt and do something!

Oh, he did. Josh Donaldson of the Oakland Athletics does what every Little League third baseman is told not to do — he cut off the shortstop in the hole — but he recovered nicely to throw out Maicer Izturis at first base. The A's made a few terrific defensive plays on the night, but they were dominated on the scoreboard by the Angels 5-0. C.J. Wilson and Ernesto Frieri combined on a one-hitter and Albert Pujols hit his fourth homer, his third deep in seven games.

* * *

Three Facts for the Water Cooler:

• Knuckleball maven R.A. Dickey struck out a career-high 11 in a 3-2 Mets victory against Pittsburgh. Pirates manager Clint Hurdle noted that he also threw only two balls in the dirt over seven innings.

• Reds closer Aroldis Chapman hit 100 mph (not in his car) three times in 18 pitches, striking out two for the save that preserved a 4-3 victory against the Braves. Brandon Phillips added two homers for Cincy.

• Marlins right-hander Ricky Nolasco set the Miami Marlins franchise record for career victories, improving to 69-52 to surpass Dontrelle Willis, and the Fish beat the Rockies 7-6. The Marlins are 16-5 in May, though only 22,242 fans showed in their new ballpark, the smallest attendance so far.

* * *

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Women lead when it comes to maintaining two of the nicest baseball fields in the world.

GroundskeepHERS, if you will.

The Detroit Tigers made Heather Nabozny the first female head groundskeeper in Major League Baseball history in 1999, the team's final season at historic Tiger Stadium, and she's kept the field at Comerica Park looking as nice since it opened. That includes the major-league All-Star game in 2005 and the World Series in '06.

In 2007, the Baltimore Orioles named Nicole Sherry the head groundskeeper at Camden Yards, regarded by many as the best ballpark in the majors. And so appreciated was Sherry at her previous job with the Trenton Thunder (the Double-A team of the New York Yankees in the Eastern League), the team gave away a bobblehead doll of her.

Not only do these women have dream jobs in a male-dominated industry, they're excelling at them, and ESPN's Amanda Rykoff wrote a terrific profile of both. Nabozny, like most major-league players, got her professional start in the minors. For her, that meant the Class A West Michigan Whitecaps of the Midwest League:

Scott Lane, the Whitecaps' president, said Nabozny's work at the minor league level caught the eye of the Tigers' major league staff.

"Randy Smith was general manager at the time for the Tigers. Steve Lubratich [now the Indians' director of player personnel] was their director of player development, so he was kind of a head guy at the minor leagues," Lane said. "They are up in the owner's suite level, and they are sitting there talking. Randy looks at Steve and says, 'Why doesn't our field at Tiger Stadium look this good?' And he said, 'I don't know. Maybe it's the groundskeeper.' Shortly thereafter, they offered her the position."

Nabozny's first bobblehead doll has yet to be made, but she is one of the few non-players in the Whitecaps' hall of fame. She's definitely leaving a legacy.

Sherry's first contact with a front office happened in college. She explained the neat, yet kind-of-nerdy way she got her foot in the door with the Orioles:

"Our irrigation class at Delaware took a field trip to Camden Yards to look at their irrigation system," Sherry said. "[Two years later] I still had the head groundskeeper's business card. So I just called him up and said, 'I am interested in pursuing something like this. Do you have any jobs open?' And they did, so I made the move to Baltimore right then and there."

"Irrigation class"! So that's how you get a job in the majors. And don't be fooled. It's a job, and the work is plenty difficult.

• Nabozny notes that "80 percent of the game" happens in the infield, so most of her work is with clay, not grass.

• There's always work to do at the ballpark, even when the players are on road trips.

• The hardest part of being a groundskeeper might be predicting the weather.

• They get requests from players:

"Everybody is different, but Brandon Inge used to give me feedback all the time," Nabozny said of the former Tigers third baseman, who is now with Oakland. "I can see how the ball is playing but he just liked it really soft, which meant a lot of water. I'd have to tell him sometimes 'Brandon, I cannot water it too much because then someone running around third base can slip!'"

Now there's something you probably didn't consider when a player changes teams: His working relationship with the groundskeeper.

There's one aspect of their stories I'd like to read more about: Until Nabozny, it was evident that MLB didn't think women could do, or should do, this job. What changed? Was it a coincidence that the Tigers hired Nabozny and that she's a she? By the time she was hired, did it actually help her, because her gender brought her attention? Even if it wasn't a positive, being a woman stopped being a negative at some point. Why?

In a Q&A on MLB.com in 2007, reporter Spencer Fordin asked Sherry what she thought:

It never seemed odd to me. But then when I started, [former groundskeeper] Al Capitos told me I was one of the few women in the industry. And I was kind of confused, because in the golf course industry, there's a ton of women as superintendents and assistant superintendents. I never really thought about it.

I just don't think it's really known as a career. Courses are more for agriculture in general, so people think about horticulture and things like that. I just don't think it's out there yet. I'm not the first woman. But I'm not going to be the last, either.

In the meantime, read the entirety of Rykoff's profile.

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You can find the full list here, but we've taken the liberty at listing 10 of our favorite men who've been enlisted to stand around for the cameras while the actual picks hide under their agents' desks until 10 minutes before the signing deadline on July 13. (Thank the good heavens that it's moved up this year.)

1. CC Sabathia, New York Yankees: He's the only active player enlisted for duty that night and you have to wonder how he drew the short straw from the Yankees, who have an off-day. Shouldn't Mark Teixeira be the one coming in for makeup work these days?

2. Ron Karkovice, Chicago White Sox: Some of you may suspect this post is just a poor excuse to get a picture of Ron Karkovice out on Big League Stew. Some of you are 100 percent right.

3. Roberto Hernandez, Tampa Bay Rays: One of Andrew Friedman's famed value bullpen pickups? Perhaps. But until then, he's just another member of the 1993 AL West-winning Chicago White Sox, who is apparently staying busy. Oh, to be a fly on the wall when the Gene Lamont stories start flying in that green room!

4. Ryan Franklin, St. Louis Cardinals: From starting the 2011 season as the team's closer to serving as the Cards' desk jockey for the 2012 draft. Yep, nothing says good organizational guy like Ryan Franklin. Who knew?

5. Kent Tekulve, Pittsburgh Pirates: Color me disappointed if Tekulve isn't wearing this T-shirt while making picks and not telling stories about the time he met Rick Santorum between them.

6. Don Money, Milwaukee Brewers: Love the '82 Crew love, but do you really want a man named "Money" to be the first person reaching out to your new draft pick? Especially under the new collective bargaining agreement, which limits draft spending?

7. Mike Hargrove, Cleveland Indians: And to think there are some — *coughChrisPerezcough* — who believe it's impossible for those who were at Jacobs Field during the '90s glory days to ever return.

8. Willie Mays Aikens, Kansas City Royals: No jokes here. After all he's been through, it's nice to see him proudly representing his old franchise on draft day.

9. Ivan Rodriguez and Jim Sundberg, Texas Rangers: Any truth to the rumor that Sundberg has challenged I-Rod to a table arm wrestling match with winner getting first pick of being announced as the franchise's best catcher at Rangers alumni events? Let's hope so.

10. Tommy Lasorda, Los Angeles Dodgers: Ron Cey will be there too, just in case Tommy gets too deep into a story about Don Drysdale to answer the phone.

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Usually one of the more forward-thinking organizations in Major League Baseball, the Tampa Bay Rays broke out some next-generation headgear Monday night. Not satisfied with the "Great Gazoo" helmets Rawlings recently developed that greatly increase player safety (along with yuk factor), Rays slugger Carlos Peña put in an order for these sleek, hip and fearsome domes for his team. Very 21st-centurian.

OK, they're just gladiator helmets, worn for fun (or whatever). But Peña did order them, the Tampa Bay Times reports. That's closer Fernando "Maximus" Rodney on the left and Joel "Juba" Peralta chilling/unleashing hell in the home dugout.

And there's video:

Note coach George Hendrick marveling at the material (and perhaps the sharpness) of the top of the helmet. Imagine the cutters one could throw... Anyway, Blue Jays broadcaster Buck Martinez is right when he calls the Rays "a very loose ball club." It's almost like manager Joe Maddon has instituted a perpetual "When in Rome..." attitude. I can probably wait for the Rays to dress like Fox's Ken Rosenthal for their next road trip, however. That's Tim Lincecum's domain, anyway.

Question: Where is Rodney's lid integrity? As everyone knows, he always wears his cap a tad askew so as to throw off the timing of the hitters he faces. But the gladiator helmet looks pretty straight to me. What a sell-out!

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Watch what happens when Weeks lines up at double play depth, only to decide that a force out at second is enough after shortstop Cesar Izturis relays a Brandon Crawford grounder his way:

.

It appears as though Weeks didn't speak with any reporters after the game, so we can't really be sure the exact reason why he retired in the second inning early. But perhaps it doesn't really matter as the next batter, Melky Cabrera, grounded out to third.

Of bigger concern to Brewers fans should be the season-long slump that Weeks has shown no signs of emerging from at the plate. An All-Star last season, Weeks is hitting a dismal .155/.286/.284 with just four home runs and seven RBIs. He was fitted for the golden sombrero by striking out four times in two different games last week and he also struck out three times in another contest. Weeks has shown no signs that he's capable of carrying more of the load that was vacated by Prince Fielder's defection to Detroit, let alone earning the rest of the four-year, $38.5 million contract that he signed before the 2011 season.

[Related: Atlanta Braves players razz ballboy after he flubs easy play]

This goes without saying, but Weeks will need to get his head back into the game if the fourth-place Brewers are to ever dig their way out of this 17-25 start and erase the six-game deficit that separates them from first place in the NL Central.

On the field, but even more at the plate.

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Alas, not even the team finally climbing back to the .500 mark at 21-21 can calm the stormy waters. After Monday's win, Red Sox slugger David Ortiz teed off on fans, media and front office types like they were the Tommy Hunter pitch he parked on Eutaw Street earlier in the night.

The issue: After 10 seasons of stellar play in Boston, Ortiz is irked that more people don't see him as a leader of the Red Sox.

So irked in fact, that he even took the time to mock the fact that two players — Dustin Pedroia and Jason Varitek — have traditionally been held up as "leaders" in The Hub.

From ESPN Boston:

"Let me tell you, I was reading an article [that] talked about the leaders people call 'leaders' in this town," [Ortiz said]. "Basically, it seems like no matter what you do, it's not good enough.

"And you can only call leaders the guys who are out diving for balls on the field or calling pitches behind the plate?" [...]

"I don't get no respect," he said. "Not from the media. Not from the front office. What I do is never the right thing. It's always hiding, for somebody to find out."

As someone who's not privy to the daily pulse of Boston's sports talk radio and message board chatter, I'm actually kind of surprised to learn that Ortiz thinks he's unfairly treated. While he complained a few years ago about his early obituaries after a poor start and blamed the media for being hit in a Yankees series last year, it would seem that he usually has it pretty good. After all, he's more or less the Red Sox version of Andy Pettitte — the guy who earned the benefit of selective omission when it comes to not being criticized for past PED use.

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Yet given that preferential treatment, Big Papi has somehow also developed quite the persecution complex. He was apparently angry on Monday night because someone in the media asked why he hadn't called his team meeting earlier than May 11 (just after Josh Beckett's golfgate). Ortiz probably has a right to be angry with such nitpicking — as he asks, how much earlier could he have called it? But a full-on rant? One that takes aim at both a current teammate and a former one? It seems petty.

But as Ortiz says, he's always done his leading from the batter's box and he's doing the same this year. Despite the team's early struggles, the 36-year-old DH has still posted a line of .333/.402/.616 with 10 homers and 30 RBIs.  In other words, exactly the type of numbers that make it worth sitting through his annual grumblings about being underappreciated.

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There's  no doubt about it: Caleb Lloyd is the man.

The 20-year-old Cincinnati Reds fan made hundreds of headlines on Monday night after catching home run balls from pitcher Mike Leake and shortstop Zack Cozart. Lloyd's dueling grabs occurred not only in the same game, but in consecutive at-bats during the Reds' 4-1 win over Atlanta Braves at Great American Ballpark. Not bad for someone who had just planned on playing the MLB 2K12 video game all night before his friend called him up with a last-minute offer of tickets in the left-field bleachers.

[Related: Reds pitcher Aroldis Chapman arrested for driving 93 mph on suspended license]

Watch the unreal sequence play out here:

But while Lloyd living out two dream grabs  on what he called "the best day" of his life is impressive, I was actually more taken by the fact he immediately gave up both homer balls to people he thought would like them better. While we've written posts about people catching two homers in one day or three in each game of a series, I can't remember ever writing about someone who was so charitable with his stroke-of-luck souvenirs.

So why did Lloyd give the baseballs up? And who did he give them to?

From MLB.com:

"I gave the Cozart one to my buddy since his uncle got us the tickets," Lloyd said. "He was the reason I was here. The Leake ball, I gave it back, because I knew it was Leake's first Major League home run. I just want to meet him and shake his hand."

The power of Christian Lopez compelled him!

It's also not like Lloyd didn't sustain any damage while collecting the baseballs. While Cozart's ball came to him off a carom, the drive by Leake required a bit more suffering.

"The first one, I actually barehanded," Lloyd said. "It hit my hand. It didn't expect I'd actually catch it. I never caught a home run ball. I caught it and it like bounced off the palm of my hand, and I just reached out and grabbed it. It hurt really bad. I don't recommend doing it again."

At any rate, Lloyd's generosity without a second thought should be lauded.

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But it shouldn't come as any surprise for those who saw his later interview with Reds broadcasters. Possessing great manners and a fantastic outlook on life for anyone (not just a college student), Lloyd not only did his mother proud (he namechecked and praised her on television) but also Thomas More College, where he just completed his junior year.

Between the homers and the giveaway, thanks for three great highlights, Caleb.

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At least that's the story his defense (attorneys Franklin and Bash?) ought to be preparing after the Cincinnati Reds' would-be closer was arrested in Grove City, Ohio, for driving on a suspended license with a citation for speeding. WLTW reports that:

Chapman, 24, was pulled over after he was recorded speeding in a black 2010 Mercedes S63 on Interstate 71 North near Interstate 270 about 12:42 a.m. Monday.

Chapman was arrested after the officer discovered he had a suspended Kentucky driver's license, according to a police report.

Our client must have been confused, your honor.

After all, we know the vanity license plate for Chapman's Mercedes reads "101 mph." No doubt, this stranger from the Caribbean must have thought that gave him the latitude to drive up to and including 101 mph. That's how they do it in Cuba. It's all in the Marx-Engels Reader!

[Related: Reds fan catches two HR balls in same inning — then gives them away]

In all seriousness, speeding on a lightly traveled interstate during the midnight hour is one offense — and many of us have been guilty of it — but the suspended license is another. Sure, Chapman probably has developed an aversion to paperwork and bureaucracy after living most of his life in communist Cuba. Unfortunately we cannot tolerate scofflaws in this country just because one feels the need to stretch after being liberated from under the oppressive thumb of totalitarianism. Plus, we need the tax revenue.

Of greater concern, actually, might be this $18 million lawsuit filed against Chapman in Miami by the wife of a man he allegedly screwed over back in Cuba. It would seem hard to prove. Hopefully it's either a cash grab or some kind of conspiracy by the Castro government to make a defector look bad. At least that's what Franklin and Bash probably would argue. But until it's resolved, we'll have to raise our eyebrows suspiciously. It would be much better to simply watch Chapman pitch and only worry about manager Dusty Baker using him correctly.

[MLB Full Count: Watch live look-ins and highlights for free all season long]

Big BLS H/N: CBS Sports Eye on Baseball

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The Juice is back for its fifth season of fun! Stop by each weekday for an ample serving of news from the action, plus great photos, stats and video highlights.

Round 1 to the King: Felix Hernandez dominated the first of what we hope will be many matchups against Yu Darvish, freezing the mighty Texas Rangers lineup during a 6-1 victory Monday night at Safeco Field. .

After giving up a combined 10 runs in his previous two starts, King Felix looked like his old self. He struck out seven batters while allowing six hits and walking two. Combined with a weekend sweep at Colorado, the Mariners have now won four straight games.

Hernandez's lone blemish of the night came when he surrendered a homer to Mitch Moreland in the eighth inning, but the Mariners offense had provided more than enough insurance by then (and we know that's not always the case). Darvish was far from sharp, lasting only four innings while giving up four runs and walking a season-high six batters. It was the first time in his MLB career that he did not pitch into the sixth and he was denied a chance to become the majors' first seven-game winner.

''I was apologetic. I wasn't able to go deep in the game as a starter should,'' Darvish said through an interpreter. ''Giving up those runs with only four hits; overall the approach and substance wasn't that good.''

Dashing Dodgers: Don Mattingly says his Los Angeles squad owns simple momentum, a fact that's hard to argue. Chris Capuano won his sixth game of the season in a 6-1 victory over Arizona at Chase Field. Despite a recent rash of injuries, the Dodgers have won five straight and have put a good amount of distance between themselves and the rest of the NL West. The D-backs are now 10 1/2 games out of first place after winning the division in 2011. Meanwhile, only the Giants trail the Dodgers by single digits and they're still seven games back.  

Free baseball!: Speaking of the Giants, they had the good sense to start off their series in Milwaukee with a win. It took a little longer than expected, though, with the 4-3 victory over the Brewers only sealed when backup catcher Hector Sanchez homered in the 14th inning. Santiago Casilla pitched the two final innings to get the win.

Next stop: B&O Warehouse: The Red Sox looked like they were going to resume their recent struggles against the Orioles after entering Monday's sixth inning trailing by three runs. But it was this electrifying blast by David Ortiz that sparked a rally en route to an 8-6 win and it was easy to see why. Ortiz's shot at Camden Yards was only the 62nd to reach Eutaw Street.

The answer is no: Bryce Harper got his wish and was showered by only boos (and not batteries) on his first visit to Citizens Bank Park. Cole Hamels' favorite target went 2 for 4 with one run in a rainy 2-1 victory over the Phils. Gio Gonzalez struck out seven of the first nine batters he faced and pitched six solid innings before handing it over to a bullpen that bent but never broke. The Phillies have lost 12 of their last 15 games against Washington.

* * *

Quote of the Day: ''I don't remember much.  I know he went from very bad to very good to very old." — Miami Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen on the times he faced Colorado's Jamie Moyer during his career. Guillen was a lifetime 4 for 22 against Moyer, who is one year older than the nine-year managing veteran.

* * *

Photo of the Day: Feeling zen? Maybe not so much

Cubs starter Matt Garza allowed seven runs in three innings during Chicago's 8-4 loss to the Houston Astros, leading manager Dale Sveum to say "'that was not Matt Garza pitching ... it's not the Matt Garza I've seen. It seems like he got out of whack somehow.'' The Cubs have lost seven straight games.

* * *

Three Facts for the Water Cooler

• Cincinnati's Mike Leake, Zack Cozart and Drew Stubbs hit back-to-back-to-back homers off Mike Minor during a 4-1 win over the Braves, but it hadn't been that long since the Reds hit three straight homers in a game. The team also did it against Colorado's Alex White last Sept. 10.

• In a 6-2 victory over the Rays, Toronto's Kyle Drabek became the first AL pitcher to win a game while walking six batters and recording three wild pitches since Juan Guzman did it for the Jays in 1994.

• Calling all boobirds: A 6-0 loss to the Royals dropped the Yankees to last place in the AL East. This is the latest they've been this low in the standings since May of 2008, which is also the last time that New York missed the postseason.

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Earlier this month, we expressed concern for the poor souls who found themselves on the receiving end of a blast by Giancarlo Stanton. But on Monday night, the young Miami Marlins slugger proved that neither man nor machine are safe from the consequences of his prodigious tape-measure homers.

Watch as Stanton sends Marlins Park up for grabs as he turns a 72 mph pitch from Colorado's Jamie Moyer into a fourth-inning grand slam and a busted left-field scoreboard during Miami's 7-4 victory:

The good news is that the Marlins may have paid just as much attention to making sure that scoreboard was Stanton-proof as they did ensuring the aquariums behind home plate were shatterproof. The scoreboard somehow repaired itself and was functional just a few minutes later.

Stanton's grand slam traveled an estimated 438 feet and, as was noted more than a few times, came off a pitcher who started his career in 1986, three years before the 22-year-old Stanton was even born.

But despite being nearly 50 years old and having 25 major-league seasons to his name, Moyer really hasn't been victimized for that many grand slams. He didn't give up his first grand slam until 1997 (to Craig Paquette) and hadn't surrendered one since 2004 (to Abraham Nunez).

Stanton, meanwhile, already has four career grand slams under his belt. His last one came on Sunday, May 13 and was of the walk-off variety, sealing an 8-4 win over the New York Mets.

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Well, a disagreement has broken out, anyway. Between two sports writers. One (Mike Wise of the Washington Post) is against Baltimore Orioles fans shouting "O" during the national anthem to show team pride. The other (Peter Schmuck of the Baltimore Sun) defends the practice.

But first, a word from my maternal grandfather. Were he still alive, Grampa would offer you at least three pieces of advice:

1. Always drive with your headlights on, for safety, no matter the time of day.

2. No matter what you need, you should be able to pick it up at "the hardware store."

3. When attending a sporting event and they play "The Star-Spangled Banner," either be silent or sing along — but silence is preferable. And he took this to the Nth degree. Grampa also discouraged clapping or cheering after the anthem because it wasn't meant to be received like a song one might hear on the radio or the iTunes. (It's a good thing he's not around to critique Chicago Blackhawks fans for cheering during the anthem, which he'd find incredibly disrespectful, no matter the opposite intention.)

[ Y! Sports Fantasy Minute: Fantasy baseball's most valuable closer ]

I've always had the good sense to take his advice on all three topics. (Although, the hardware store selling everything might have been wishful thinking on his part.) Not only because he was my Grampa and all that entails, nor simply because he landed at Normandy in France on D-Day during "WW II: The Big One," but also because it just seemed the right way. Forget patriotism. It was a matter of respect.

That said, I've never had a problem with O's fans shouting "O!" because it reminds me of Baltimore baseball. Cal Ripken and Eddie Murray. Rex Barney and Brooks Robinson. Camden Yards and Memorial Stadium. In case you haven't heard it:

... Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O! say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

Orioles fans have been doing this since the 1970s, but Wise picked his preview column for the O's recent interleague, intra-region series at the Nationals to stir up some stuff. Both teams, usually looking up at the rest of their respective divisions, are contenders. Already among those sensitive to other invading fans co-opting Nationals Park, Wise complained that Baltimorians were trampling the national anthem and it was unsuitable sonic behavior in the nation's capital:

[T]here is a more basic Battle of the Beltways: It's the class and dignity of people who appreciate the national anthem as the last bastion of Americana we can all stand behind vs. the cretins who continue to ruin the song, many of whom are from Baltimore.

Wise presumably is half-kidding, at least in tone. He's playing a role, trying to push an emotional button. Schmuck counters:

The Nationals, meanwhile, dress up four employees like giant cartoonish mascots of our greatest presidents and make them participate in a "sausage race" during every home game. Where's the patriotic outrage?

Lots of hyperbolic outrage. Maybe not joking 100 percent, but tongue surely in cheek.

Except, people can get really upset about the national anthem. They get protective when Washington Capitals fan shout out "RED!" a little louder or when Kansas Citians scream "CHIEFS!" right before kickoff.

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People can become a little irrational, too. People such as my grandfather. To people like him, what Orioles fans have done, in a sense, is like taking the U.S. flag and made some lovely drawings on it. Maybe it looks nice to them. Maybe it's even art in some galleries. But it doesn't matter. It's been defaced.

Maybe it would be better if O's fans — at least when they're away from Camden Yards — kept their "O!"s to themselves as a matter of respect.

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Then, lest any of his pointed comments get lost in the weekend media cycle, Perez came right back on Sunday by putting on another rant for any media member who might not have been around for the first one. In five passion-filled minutes that reminded me a little of Lee Elia in its spirit (minus the intensity and profanity), the 26-year-old stood by his initial comments.

For one, Perez finds it "embarrassing" that the first-place Indians rank dead last in attendance (with an average of 15,872 fans per game, they're nowhere close to 29th-place Oakland, which averages 19,573 per game).

For another, he can't understand why the prevailing mood in Cleveland isn't one of  hope or at least enjoyment considering the Indians hold a 2 1/2-game lead over second-place Chicago. (Perez isn't the only one in town who feels this way as Paul Cousineau of The DiaTribe just wrote a great post about fellow fans who are only focusing on the time when the other shoe will drop.)

Here are some of the comments that Perez made on Sunday. As you can tell, he held absolutely nothing back (and remember that this is just a sampling of what he said):

• "I expected the (backlash from Saturday's comments), but I really don't care any more. I'm here to do my job and play for this team. If the fans come, they'll come. If they don't, it'll be just like it was in April. So who cares?"

• "It's not a good atmosphere (at Progressive Field). It's not fun to be here ... Baseball's still supposed to be fun. At the end of the day, this is a game. It's a child's game, I understand that. But if you have a choice to go to some place like Philadelphia, where every day it's fun just to go there. That helps you get through some seasons some times."

• "I was in Florida in '97 when (Cleveland) lost the World Series to the Marlins. I saw the atmosphere here. It's great. It's a good baseball town. I don't know how to get back to that. Everyone says, 'winning, winning.' Well, we were in first place for three months last year. We come out strong this year, so obviously it's not a fluke ... This year is a different year. If, at the end, you don't want to get your heart broken, then we don't want you."

• "I'm not stupid, I understand the economy's bad around here. I understand that people can't afford to come to the game. But there doesn't need to be the negativity. I don't understand the negativity, why? Like, enjoy what we have. You have a first place team. How many third-place towns in the country would want that right now?"

• "We could be in last place. We could be the Royals, we could be the Pirates. Haven't won anything in 20 years. We're not. Enjoy it. I don't understand the negativity."

• "(My teammates) feel the same way. They just won't say it."

• "It's just a slap in the face when you're last in attendance. Last. It's not like we're 25th or 26th. We're last. Oakland's outdrawing us. That's embarrassing."

As someone who watched last Thursday's extra-innings win over the Seattle Mariners and wondered where all the fans were, I'm glad that Perez is speaking up so passionately about this subject. It really has to galvanize the loyal Indians fans who are showing up to Progressive Field and remain hopeful the team can win its first division title since 2007. As any fan knows, it's nice to see that a player cares as much as you do. And who knows? Maybe estranged fans will see that Perez cares so much and will be willing to come out to the park now.

Perez is also right in another regard: What has he got to lose? Either the Indians are a young team playing exciting baseball in front of a full house or they're a young team playing exciting baseball in front of an empty one. If Cleveland fans can't get over past disappointments or the fact that the Dolans own the team, it's going to be their own loss — not a defeat for Perez or his teammates.

Finally, here's the best part: As Perez noted on Twitter, he's putting his money where his mouth is and will give away three sets of tickets to each remaining home game to make sure he's doing his part. With a guy like that on the roster and the team in first place, how could Cleveland fans not want to give the team a little longer leash than usual?

Here's the press conference in its entirety (starting around the 1:30 mark):

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Richard, who started the season 0 for 16, stroked a two-out single and later scored the game-ending run in the 13th inning for a 3-2 interleague victory against the Angels on Sunday. Padres manager Bud Black had run out of position players, so he sent up Richard, a .116 hitter in 149 career plate appearances. Big advantage for Angels pitcher David Pauley, right? Silly, outdated NL rules strike blow against common sense again, yes?

[ Y! Sports Fantasy Minute: Fantasy baseball's most valuable closer ]

Not this time, percentages and winds of change! Instead of meekly striking out or grounding harmlessly to first like most pitchers would, Richard went the other way with a sharp single to left. One batter later, he came around to score from first base on a single by Will Venable after outfielder Howie Kendrick bobbled the ball in left-center field for an error. A backup quarterback at Michigan before being drafted by the White Sox in 2005, Richard made like Tom Brady sneaking into the end zone on a naked bootleg when he rumbled in for the winning run without a slide.

''Just straight Michigan quarterback sprinting," Black said.

So, when Universal DH Armageddon comes, and it's coming, those partial to the NL way of doing things will point to this awesome moment and claim, "See? Pitchers can hit for themselves. How else will we get the kind of unique drama that was created on what became to be known as "Oh, my! Clayton Richard Sunday"?

And they will have a point, if not a logical one. So even if it makes sense that a fully integrated Major League Baseball play by the same rules in both the AL and NL, and that those rules include a DH to bypass the mostly sad results that ensue when pitchers usually try to hit, keeping things the way they are has an understandable attraction to it. Call it emotional stability. Keeping one foot in the past, for tradition's sake, is comforting.

That said, NL fans should come over to the dark side. Embrace the DH. Sometimes, they even get two or three hits in a game and make the scoreboard move even more. Imagine the possibilities. It would keep all pitchers on the mound, where they belong.

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Yes, even if that means having one of them jokingly throw things at you after you boot a play down the left-field line. Watch what happened to this Tampa Bay Rays ball boy after he Bucknered a foul grounder in front of Livan Hernandez and the Atlanta Braves bullpen.

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Some people out there might see it differently, but that actually had to be a good feeling for the ball boy, who I really hope is named David. (Get it?) Livan's attempt at a high five shows he clearly was joking and being treated like one of the boys is a lot better than receiving stony silence from the professionals.

[ Y! Sports Fantasy Minute: Fantasy baseball's most valuable closer ]

Not a bad tip on top of getting to watch a MLB game from one of the best seats in the house.

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Another ugly incident reportedly occurred in a Dodger Stadium parking lot on Sunday night when four men pulled another man from his car and beat him over a minor fender-bender. The alleged attackers, who did not appear to have gang affiliations, were arrested and charged on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon, LAPD Sgt. David Armas told the Associated Press. The victim, a man in his 20s, was in stable condition after suffering scrapes and cuts on his face.

A female passenger in the car who was eight months pregnant was not hurt, police added.

The man was involved in a minor collision with another driver as he was leaving the stadium parking lot, and three men from another car also got involved, Armas said.

''They basically held the victim down while the original suspect kicked and hit him about the head and face area while he was on the ground,'' Armas said.

The beating thankfully was not as bad as what happened to Giants fan Bryan Stow a season ago, when he suffered life-threatening injuries including brain damage. Stow's recovery has been inspirational, but he's also become a symbol of the consequences of the seemingly lawless lands at Chavez Ravine.

Armas added that Dodgers security, along with uniformed off-duty Los Angeles police, responded quickly. If that's true, and it hasn't been disputed, then that's all security could do — react quickly. As far as Dodgers management goes, installing more lights and video cameras to cover every angle inside the lots would be expensive and might help catch bad guys after the fact, but it still wouldn't guarantee fan safety. People commit crimes all of the time when caught on camera. And Magic Johnson waving a wand, that's not going make it stop, either.

The attitude of fans also has to change. The best way to stop the violence in the parking lots is for Dodgers fans themselves to decide they won't tolerate it anymore. That should have happened already, no? It hasn't. I don't care if it takes switching from "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" to "Kumbaya," it's really up to them to bring law to the Wild West's parking lots.

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That's the word from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch's Joe Strauss, who reports the first baseman believes he may have torn the ACL in his right knee during Saturday's game at Dodger Stadium. Berkman will undergo an MRI on Monday to see if the news is as bad as he expects it could be.

If Berkman's worst fears are indeed true, it obviously deals a serious blow to the Cardinals. Though St. Louis sustained Berkman's previous 21-game visit to the DL and got off to a 22-19 start — good enough for first place in the NL Central — losing the 36-year-old slugger for the entire year would be a much different story. Lose Berkman for the rest of 2012 and it suddenly becomes much more imperative for players like Rafael Furcal, Kyle Lohse and Lance Lynn to continue the hot starts that have allowed the Cardinals to earn a run-differential of +57, best in the National League and second in the majors to the Rangers.

[ Y! Sports Fantasy Minute: Fantasy baseball's most valuable closer ]

That's not to say the Cardinals can't overcome such a big injury. If they won the 2011 World Series title without Adam Wainwright atop the rotation, they can win in 2012 without Berkman. But it's going to take Allen Craig getting (and staying) healthy so he can replicate at least some of the numbers that Berkman (and Albert Pujols before him) posted at first. It'll also take Carlos Beltran continuing to be the Lance Berkman of 2012 — the smart and value-laden free-agent pickup who posts a top-1o MVP finish.

Putting the Cardinals' chances aside, a more melancholy question might be whether the last image we'll see as Berkman the player will be of him being helped off the field at Dodger Stadium. He tore the same ACL in 2005 and isn't at the point of his career where such a rehab will be easy. Since he's always contended that he doesn't want to finish his career as a full-time DH, perhaps the broadcasting booth — where he's almost guaranteed to be a hit — will look a little more attractive.

Berkman talked about his future in the Post-Dispatch: 

"If I've torn my ACL or something like that, I'd certainly get it fixed. But you don't know how psychologically you're going to come back from something like that," said Berkman, 36. "I'm not talking from the standpoint of being scared of hurting it again. I'm talking about doing everything it takes to come back and play again at an elite level. I think that's a legitimate question I'm going to have to answer if, in fact, it turns out to be something more serious than we hope it is."

But if Berkman does get the bad news confirmed at some point on Monday, at least he'll receive it after finally earning a World Series ring by being one of the title team's main cogs. There's a reason why so many baseball fans are down after hearing this news and most of it has to do with that awesome 2011 — .301/.412/.547 with 31 homers and 94 RBIs — that he posted after most people thought his career was more or less over.

Let's hope he has one more surprise left in his tank.

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In case you were wondering where former major leaguer Andy Van Slyke had gone, he reportedly was sitting in the stands at Dodger Stadium on Sunday night, watching his son Scott Van Slyke hit his first major-league home run.

And a timely blast it was: The 25-year-old Van Slyke took reliever Mark Rzepczynski deep in the seventh inning for a pinch-hit, go-ahead, three-run homer, the key moment in a 6-5 victory for the Los Angeles Dodgers. Having won four in a row, the Dodgers at 28-13 sport the best record in the majors. They're winning with MVP candidate Matt Kemp out because of an injury (one of many injuries) and they're doing it with six sons of former major leaguers on the roster.

[Related: Dodgers put Matt Kemp on DL after streak ends]

Van Slyke's homer definitely made St. Louis Cardinals nation shout "Son of a ... !" considering it led to getting swept by the Dodgers. It also came on a 3-0 count when Van Slyke got a green light to swing from the bench. A rookie with a green light on 3-0? A son of a former Cardinals player, no less. And he totally pulled a reverse Jack Clark against Tom Niedenfuer in the '85 NLCS, didn't he?! Son of a ... !

"At first, I looked down at (third base coach) Tim Wallach, and maybe there was a little part of me that was surprised,'' the 25-year-old outfielder said. ''But once I got back in the box, I was really zoned in, trying to get a pitch I could do something with.''

That's what separates the pros from the regular Joes. And the sons of regular people from the sons of former major leaguers. Van Slyke's dad broke in with the Cardinals, though was playing with the Pirates by the time Scott was born in 1986. The junior Van Slyke was a 14th-round pick in 2005 and never has been considered a high-end prospect. But he's put up strong numbers in the minors, particularly since 2009. In addition to Van Slyke, the Dodgers have five other second generation (or later) ballplayers on their roster:

• Dee Gordon, son of Royals and Red Sox pitcher Tom Gordon.
• Justin Sellers, son of former Red Sox pitcher Jeff Sellers.
• Ivan DeJesus, son of former Cubs shortstop Ivan DeJesus.
• Jerry Hairston, son of former White Sox pinch hitter Jerry Hairston and grandson of Sam Hairston.
• Tony Gwynn, son of former (well, you know).

That doesn't even include Wallach's son, Matt Wallach, who was with the club in spring training. So, to fill out the roster after the likes of Kemp, Andre Ethier and Clayton Kershaw, did Dodgers' GM Ned Colletti just ask around during an MLBPA alumni dinner for some tips on guys with kids in the minors?

[Jeff Passan's 10 Degrees: Examining dubious starts in MLB]

We're looking into whether the Dodgers have set some kind of major-league record for ancestry. But this is for sure: They're not kidding around in the NL West.

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The Juice is back for its fifth season of fun! Stop by each weekday for an ample serving of news from the action, plus great photos, stats and video highlights.

Into the Strastosphere: After ace right-hander Stephen Strasburg connected for his first major-league home run Sunday, Washington Nationals manager Davey Johnson said third base coach Bo Porter came to him with a suggestion:

''I didn't expect Stras to hit a breaking ball,'' Johnson said. ''He doesn't usually see breaking balls. Bo Porter came in after and said we found a left fielder.''

Strasburg, having shown he's capable of going deep during batting practice, seemed shocked by his solo shot against Orioles left-hander Wei-Yin Chen that prompted a curtain call. But he was happy to help the Nationals cool off the hottest team in the AL with a 9-3 victory that snapped a five-game winning streak for Baltimore.

Strasburg, who came in with five hits in 40-career at-bats, was almost embarrassed about his trip around the bases and subsequent climb up the dugout steps.

''I'm not big for going out there and showboating,'' Strasburg said. ''It was great, but I know my place. I'm not a real hitter out there so I'm not going to go out there and act like I do it all the time.''

Strasburg was limited to five innings on the mound because of a sore biceps, but he says he's OK there.

[Related: Stephen Strasburg has bad experience with ointment]

Aroldis relief man to be rewarded: The Cincinnati Reds might be ready to anoint left-hander Aroldis Chapman as their closer after he finished off the New York Yankees in a 5-2 victory in the Bronx. Chapman's ERA remains at 0.00 after he pitched for the fourth time in five days, reaching 99 mph on the stadium's radar gun, and set down the Yankees with a hitless ninth inning. Manager Dusty Baker won't commit yet to removing Sean Marshall from ninth-inning duty, and Chapman says he can't tell the difference between the eighth and ninth in terms of feeling pressure — he doesn't feel any in either inning.

Son of a ... !: Scott Van Slyke, a son of Andy Van Slyke, connected on a 3-0 count for a go-ahead, pinch-hit, three-run homer to help push the Los Angeles Dodgers to a 6-5 victory against the Cardinals. The Dodgers swept the three-game series (the only non-interleague affair over the weekend) and improved to 28-13 despite sustaining massive amounts of injuries.

[Related: Dodgers' roster dotted with sons of six former major leaguer players]

Quote of the Day: ''That's what he is, a groundball machine." — Atlanta Braves manager Fredi Gonzalez, after right-hander Tim Hudson got 14 ground ball outs over 7 2/3 innings in a 2-0 victory against the Rays.

* * *

Photo of the Day: Lucroy gets lucreamed.

Jonathan Lucroy of the Milwaukee Brewers gets creamed in the face after he homered and hit a grand slam to highlight a 16-4 onslaught against the Twins. Lucroy had three hits and drove in seven runs on the day, the highlight of which for Minnesota was the scoreless inning pitched by backup catcher Drew Butera.

* * *

Three Facts for the Water Cooler:

• Max Scherzer struck out 15 — the most in 40 years for a Detroit Tigers pitcher — in a 4-3 victory against the Pittsburgh Pirates. More strikeouts than anyone in a Tigers uniform — Justin Verlander, Jack Morris, whomever — since Mickey Lolich had 15 in 1972. Lolich has the club record of 16.

• The Miami Marlins improved to 14-5 in May, best record in the league, after beating the Cleveland Indians 5-3. Josh Johnson allowed a run and five hits over seven innings for the Fish.

[Jeff Passan's 10 Degrees: Examining dubious starts in MLB]

• After going 2 for 4, Boston Red Sox slugger Adrian Gonzalez is 9 for 16 in his career against Cliff Lee. The Red Sox beat the Phillies 5-1 at Citizens Bank Park, getting 7 2/3 effective innings from Josh Beckett. Lee is 0-2 in six starts.

* * *

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Unemployment remains high, banks continue to fail and Greece doesn't know where its next meal is coming from. Regardless, the world apparently remains inhabited by persons not merely able but also perfectly willing to spend big bucks on baseball memorabilia. And hallelujah for it!

On Sunday, the memorabilia auction house Lelands.com bid a record-breaking $4,415,658 for the earliest jersey worn by Babe Ruth known to still exist, a circa 1920 New York Yankees road model he wore in his first season after coming over from the Red Sox. The jersey's price surpassed the $4,338,500 paid in 2010 for Dr. James Naismith's founding rules of basketball — called the "Bible of Basketball" — making Ruth's the most expensive sports memorabilia in history. SCP Auctions, which ran the sale, had been speculating it would go for at least $1 million.

Other Ruth items were sold, including a 1930s-era cap Ruth wore that David Wells owned and used in a game in 1997 that went for $537,278. One of Ruth's game-used bats went for $591,007.

Coincidentally or not, Ruth's old house in Sudbury, Mass., is for sale too — and it's listing for only $1.65 million. Oh, real estate, you poor thing. For a further comparison, Ruth earned $910,696 total as a player from 1914-1935. Accounting for inflation, that amount in current dollars is about $15.3 million. In other words, one of Ruth's jerseys costs more than a quarter of his lifetime salary.

[Tim Brown: Carlos Beltran's health crucial to Cardinals' hopes this season]

OK, great. So a collecting conglomerate has bought Babe Ruth's jersey, presumably complete with the dried sweat of the Sultan of Swat. Now what?

The jersey had been displayed at the Babe Ruth Birthplace Museum in Baltimore, and would seem best sent to Cooperstown, but Lelands says it will turn around and sell the jersey to a private collector. Really?

Mike Heffner, president of Lelands, said in a statement, "Such a spectacular piece will find a home with one of our private clients who truly appreciates its historic significance."

Oh, right. The competitor who bid only $4.414 million was totally disrespecting the Ruthian legend. Babe Ruth's jersey is the kind of item that Indiana Jones would tell you "belongs in a museum." Instead, it's probably going to be locked away in a rich guy's mansion somewhere in an underground hyperbaric closet. Even if it's the kind of mansion owned by the Jon Lovitz character in "Benchwarmers," it's anti-climactic this way. It's one thing to not be able to afford the memorabilia, which none of us can, but at least it could be shown publicly at a museum, or a hall of fame, or the Hall of Fame. Monetary value is one thing, but what is something worth — really — if it can't be enjoyed to the fullest by the masses?

Hopefully, the new owner will be able to pair Ruth's jersey with this Ku Klux Klan ceremonial bat that Lelands also is auctioning. Then again, we all could just hope for the wool bubble to burst and lower the price so the common man can regain access.

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_

The coincidental collision took place in the fifth inning of the game between the Atlanta Braves and Tampa Bay Rays on Saturday with the baseball-seeking baseball coming off the bat of Braves' first baseman Freddie Freeman.

Given that the rest of the party patrons in Tropicana Field's 162 landing had beans made of breakable bone, it's a good thing — and also extremely hilarious — that Freeman's drive found the only dome made out of foam.

And let's be honest. Isn't it also possible that "Homer" had it coming? For years, the Braves mascot has been best known for being a not-so-clever ripoff of Mr. Met (only with an uglier schnoz). While it's easy to see why someone would want to imitate the top mascot in all of sport — or so Forbes reports — it's about time that someone took Homer to task for his charade.

So was Freeman working on his own? Or did Mr. Met turn him into a double agent after the Braves' recent trip to Citi Field. We'd really like to assume the former and that Freeman will soon go into full Reggie Jackson "Must kill the Queen" mode.

Get your own likeness, Homer!

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But watch what happens as a foul ball off the Joey Votto's bat comes their way ...

There's really so much to like about that clip, and I'm not sure that I've ever seen a fan catch a foul ball while being lifted a few seats over by another fan. That's some serious choreography!

What's also cool is the fact that the ball was hit by the best player on the Reds and that the catch never would have taken place if the ballpark Voltron's tinier half were not left-handed. Top it all off cameras actually capturing the entire play on television and you've got a family highlight that's set for the permanent reel. Well done, Reds fans.

Update: According to Eye on Baseball, the father-son combo is the brother-in-law and nephew of Reds catcher Ryan Hanigan.

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That includes the incident from earlier in the week that ultimately led to a PNC Park security guard losing a finger. Not to mention the fan that ran on the field in Baltimore last month that umpire Jeff Kellogg dealt with himself, or the woman who stumbled onto the court in Denver right in the middle of an NBA playoff game.

Perhaps it was with these episodes fresh in his mind that a Yankee Stadium security guard went above and beyond to deny access to a highly suspicous character wandering around the front gates while chewing on a toothpick on Friday afternoon.

That's one possibility. Another is that this particular security guard hasn't seen a whole lot of baseball over the years, because the person he held in question was one of the more recognizable personalities in the game. That being Cincinnati Reds manager Dusty Baker.

Here's how Baker described the confusing confrontation just prior to the Reds 4-0 loss to the Yankees on Friday night.

"It's hard to get in this bad boy," Baker said. "Some guy asked, 'Hey, can I help you?'

I was in the front trying to get in. I said I was here for the game.

He told me, 'The gates aren't open yet.'

I told him, 'I'm the manager.'

He was like, 'Of what?'

I said, 'Of the baseball team.'

He said, 'What's your name?'

I said, 'Dusty Baker.' He still didn't know me. Another guy came over and recognized me."

Had Baker known Andy Pettitte was going to pitch like he'd never skipped a single start, let alone an entire season, he probably wouldn't have hung around long enough for the second guard to recognize him. But as it was, he finally gained entry and had one of the best seats in the house for Pettitte's first victory since 2010.

But perhaps the funniest part of this story is that it's not the first time Baker has had a misidentidication issue involving a Yankee Stadium. The first incident happened while he was the htting coach for the San Francisco Giants just prior to becoming their manager in 1993.

"I was in a cab reading a newspaper, and I told the cabbie to take me to the stadium," Baker said. "I wasn't paying attention. He said, `Here we are."'

After getting his wits about him Baker realized something was off.

"I said `I didn't want to come to Yankee Stadium. I wanted to go to Shea Stadium,"' Baker explained. "He said, `Sir, you said The Stadium.' I didn't know that in New York The Stadium was Yankee Stadium. So a $20 cab ride turned out to like a $45 cab ride."

Now that Dusty Baker knows what and where The Stadium is, and now that The Stadium's security knows who Dusty Baker is, things should go much smoother for him on Saturday. Well, off the field at least. The Reds will still have their work cut out for them on it.

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Andy is dandy: Andy Pettitte felt he was a little too "uptight" while taking the loss in his return start last Sunday afternoon. On Friday night, the 39-year-old left-hander looked nothing of the sort, allowing the Cincinnati Reds only four hits and striking out nine over eight scoreless innings in the Yankees 4-0 victory.

It was the first time Pettitte had tossed eight scoreless innings since July 8, 2008, and the victory attached to this marvelous outing was his first since July 8, 2010. Love that symmetry.

''I felt like I could do this, and now it's just like I feel like the mind's getting back there,'' a beaming Pettitte said after his 241st win. ''I'm just hoping and praying the body holds up.''

I'm sure Yankees fans are doing the same, all the while wondering what might have been had Pettitte returned in 2011.

Just another save: Or at least that's how Jonathan Papelbon played it off after his scoreless ninth preserved a 6-4 victory for Cole Hamels and Phillies over his former employer, the Boston Red Sox.

His real motivation? Simple.

'I want to go out there and try to preserve all the wins I can for my starters,'' Papelbon said. ''I think for me I take a little extra pride in that. That's basically kind of what it boiled down to for me.''

Papelbon earned saves 219 over his six seasons in Boston. His twelve this season lead the National League.

Niese cries uncle: Well, actually, Mets skipper Terry Collins waved the white flag for Jonathan Niese after the left-hander surrendered four of the Blue Jays five home runs en route to New York's ugly 14-5 loss.

J.P. Arencibia did the bulk of the damage against Niese, connecting on a three-run blast in the first and a solo shot in the third. He later added a two-run single to give him a career-high six RBIs. Rajai Davis also hit a pair of homers, while Brazilian outfielder Yan Gomes rounded out Toronto's barrage with the first round-tripper of his career.

Kid K's grand finale: We knew Kerry Wood knew how to make an entrance after striking out 20 Houston Astros in only his fifth major league start back on May 6, 1998. Fourteen years later, Wood answered the call one last time and showed us he could make an equally thrilling exit, striking out Dayan Viciedo on three pitches to record the 1,582nd and final strikeout of his career.

Viciedo was the only batter Wood faced in the Cubs 3-2 loss to the crosstown rival White Sox. After getting his man, Wood walked slowly off the mound to a rousing standing ovation and was soon greeted by his son Justin, whom he promptly hoisted in the air for an emotional embrace at the top step of the Cubs dugout.

* * *

Quote of the Day: ''Carlos has been there for me. I heard all the stories, but what is past is past. I met him in spring training and all I know is a good teammate and a good guy.'' — Marlins closer Heath Bell after picking up the save for Carlos Zambrano in Miami's 3-2 win over the Indians. Prior to Friday's save, Bell had blown his first two opportunities in relief of Big Z.

* * *

Photo of the Day: Headlocks are the new helmet slaps.

Dodgers shortstop Dee Gordon grabs a headlock on teammate A.J. Ellis after Ellis' ninth inning bases loaded walk clinched a 6-5 win over the Cardinals. It almost makes you wonder how Gordon handles losses. Perhaps he breaks out the slightly more uncomfortable abdominal stretch or even the crossface chicken wing under those circumstances.

* * *

Three Facts for the Water Cooler:

• The Orioles improved to 6-2 in extra inning games with a 2-1 victory over the Nationals. All six of those wins have come on the road.

• With their 7-2 win over the Padres, the Los Angeles Angels improved their interleague record to 63-28 since 2007. That's tops in baseball. Meanwhile, the Padres still hold the second worst overall interleague record at 103-137.

• The Texas Rangers became the first team in major league history to open their schedule with 14 different opponents in their first 14 series. Or maybe we should call them victims, as the Rangers cruised past Houston, 4-1.

* * *

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Being hit with a flying piece of bubblegum, however, is something much more unexpected — though perhaps oddly preferable to just being hit with someone else's saliva. Watch as umpire Gary Darling loses his cud while arguing with Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine over a close play involving Marlon Byrd in the ninth inning of Friday's 6-4 loss to the Phillies.

_

Hubba, bubbas! Though Valentine waved off a postgame question about whether Darling got too close, his accusatory finger point shows he was well aware of the masticated missile. (As a "Hoosiers" fan, it would have blown my mind had Valentine channeled Buddy and told the media that "it was Dentyne.")

I'm actually kind of surprised that both men were able to hold a straight face, but I really think you can see a point where both men almost lose it to laughter. Darling's inability to hang on to the contents of his mouth really underscores how easy it is to diffuse a baseball argument.

One more thought: Does this qualify as poor "situation handling" on Darling's part?

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The biggest reason that no-hitters rarely happen, Detroit Tigers ace Justin Verlander said, is because you don't need to allow a line drive in order to lose one. Any kind of hit will do.

Two outs from his third career no-hitter Friday night, Verlander gave up a softly hit but well-placed ninth-inning single to Josh Harrison of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Verlander finished with a one-hitter — the first of his career — and led the Tigers to a 6-0 victory at Comerica Park.

[Photos: Verlander just misses out on third career no-hitter]

Though he failed to join Jered Weaver of the Angels and Phil Humber of the White Sox (who threw a perfect game) with a no-no in 2012, Verlander still dominated. Touching 100 mph in the late innings and consistently registering heat in the high 90s, Verlander turned in another great performance by the best pitcher around. It just wasn't immortal. And it seemed, when Verlander talked to reporters, that losing the no-no stung a little.

"It doesn't take a hard one, just takes the right placement."

Catcher Alex Avila said that Harrison broke his bat on the single, which barely eluded the Tigers middle infielders. And what was Verlander's reaction for TV cameras when Harrison's hit found the outfield grass?

" 'F*!@.' Is this live? Good, because that's what I said."

Funny guy, the AL Cy Young and MVP. And it might be surprising to learn that, when Harrison reached base, Pirates manager Clint Hurdle — who grew up in Michigan rooting for the Tigers — had mixed feelings.

"I always wanted to be part of Tigers history since I was a little kid. I almost was," Hurdle said. "It would have been bittersweet."

Well, that's ... honest. But when your team has one of the worst offenses in the league, you might as well fail in spectacular and historic fashion. You're kind of at Verlander's mercy, regardless. He's almost always worth the price of admission. Actually, fans usually come out ahead.

Only 27 pitchers have thrown multiple no-no's, and Verlander is the most recent pitcher to join the club. His others came a season ago — May 7 against the Toronto Blue Jays — and in 2007 against the Milwaukee Brewers. He's only 29 years old. He could throw two or three more before he's done. Dang. It could have been three or four more!

Only two pitchers in history have thrown more than three no-no's, by the way: Nolan Ryan and Sandy Koufax. That's a pretty elite neighborhood Verlander's wandering around.

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Umpire Bob Davidson has received a one-game suspension for his repeated violations of the Office of the Commissioner's standards for situation handling, Major League Baseball announced today.

(The what? "The Office of the Commissioner's standards for ... situation handling"? Is that also the standard by which the trophy for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence is handed out?)

The suspension starts on Friday night, when Davidson's crew (including a call-up from the minors to replace Davidson) will work the opener of the Minnesota Twins-Milwaukee Brewers series at Miller Park.

[MLB Full Count: Watch live look-ins and highlights for free all season long]

As the Unified Sycophantic Defenders of Brett Lawrie would tell you, it's about time baseball did something about some of these umpires. I agree with them on that. No, Davidson was not the ump when Toronto's Lawrie threw down his helmet (that was Bill Miller). But Davidson did mess up the Philadelphia Phillies earlier this week when he inadvertently obstructed the attempt of catcher Brian Schneider to reach a dropped third strike, then yelled at Manuel on the bench because he understandably complained. Manuel was suspended as well for his part in the Davidson argument.

But that's Davidson's act: He messes up and then acts untouchable. It turns out he's not.

Also known as "Balkin' Bob" for his propensity to call balks no other umpire would, Davidson is mostly known for his short temper and poor attitude among players. He's the kind of umpire who thinks fans pay admission to watch him.

[Related: Miami Marlins soar in latest MLB power rankings]

He gets lots of complaints. Look here, too. Or over here. Only Joe West, seemingly, is disliked more among umpires.

This is the first time MLB suspended an ump since Brian Runge was docked a game in 2008. The previous September, Mike Winters was suspended for the rest of the season after goading Milton Bradley into an argument. Before that, it was 2003 when John Hirschbeck and Bruce Froemming were suspended (in unrelated events) for off-the-field comments. There's some doubt that Froemming (now retired) ever served his suspension for making anti-Semitic remarks.

So, MLB will act. It just seems it does so rarely. And suspending umpires for attitude problems or the inability to call strikes properly isn't the way, long-term, to fix the sport's officiating problems. That comes in the hiring and training stages of the men, and in the use of technology during the game. Discipline and computers, not just one or the other.

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After a 14-year career that never quite lived up to its initial promise but still provided plenty of thrills, Kerry Wood finally called it quits on Friday. The 34-year-old Chicago Cubs pitcher announced his retirement after a final swan song at Wrigley Field — striking out Dayan Viciedo,  the only batter he faced in a 3-2 loss to the crosstown Chicago White Sox.

Wood hanging it up in the middle of the season should not have come as a surprise if you'd been following him during 2012. Coming into Friday's action he had allowed eight runs, eight hits and 11 walks over 8 1/3 innings of work and his lone highlight before Friday's sendoff — tossing his glove and cap into the stands after blowing a lead last week — was anything but. A lot of Cubs fans were skeptical that Wood had anything left when he signed a one-year contract worth $3 million last offseason and the aging right-hander did nothing to prove those doubters wrong.

That still doesn't mean that this wasn't a sad day in Chicago sports. Wood has always been a fan favorite on the North Side of Chicago, beginning with his days as a phenom in 1998 and lasting through the elder statesman portion of his career. While fans in other locales may snicker at Cubs fans calling him one of the best pitchers in team history, they fail to see it's a judgment levied by people looking for a way to honor a career they enjoyed following.* It's based on his close relationship with the late Ron Santo and his involvement with fans and in the community. Not to get too armchair psychiatrist on you, but I think it's also based on the fact Wood's struggles also seem indicative of the Cubs' plight this last century-plus. Desipio's Andy Dolan — as cynical of a Cubs fan as they come —  nicely sums the romance here.

[Also: Miami Marlins soar in latest MLB power rankings]


*No one in their right mind, after all, would give Wood that "best" title based solely on a career ledger that never saw Wood post a season ERA under three, start a game after his 29th birthday or post more than 14 wins in one year.

But we wouldn't be here in the first place if it weren't for Wood's unbelievable talent. It might be hard for some baseball fans to remember now, but Wood burst onto the scene in 1998 with that incredible 20-strikeout game against the Houston Astros and every start by "Kid K" after that was the equivalent of "Strasmas" in that pre-social media time. Wood was a fantasy phenomenon, racking up a K/9 rate of 12.6 in his age-21 season and served as the surprise story of the '98 season until Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire artificially muscled their way into the picture. You know the rest of the story: Wood then blew his arm out and missed the entire 1999 season before returning to become a stalwart in the Cubs rotation. He teamed with Mark Prior to lead the Cubs into the 2003 playoffs and then later served as a closer on the 2008 team that won 97 games and a NL Central championship. He finishes his career with 86 wins and 63 saves while his career ERA rests at 3.67.

I recently saw someone say that people are mourning the passing of time when they mourn the passing of a celebrity. That's a little how I feel about seeing Wood's career come to an end. Back in 1998, I made it a point to come home from the University of Wisconsin one weekend to attend Wood's first start at Wrigley. He struck out seven Dodgers in five innings of work that day. I made sure to keep score and wrote "Kerry Wood's first home start" on the back of my ticket stub. Just in case he one day became a Hall of Famer, of course.

Wood's health and mechanics never allowed that to become anywhere close to a possibility, but that's far from the only effective barometer of a career. As he prepares to enter the next stage of his life — I imagine it will involve the Cubs in some capacity — I sit here and remember a few of the milepost memories he planted in mine. Moving a radio around an office in Madison, trying to get the right reception so I could hear the final innings of that glorious game against the Astros. Using a day off of work in Kansas City to watch this September 2003 gem against the Mets and then drinking entirely too much in celebration afterward. Being amazed that the Cubs had won its first (and only) postseason series since 1908 with a Game 5 effort in the NLDS against the Atlanta Braves and then being certain that his home run in Game 7 of the 2003 NLCS — which I watched from the 500-section along the first base line — was going to absolve everyone involved in the Game 6 loss while lifting the team to its first World Series since 1945.

Writing for the next day's paper that an inconsolable Wood considered the loss his fault.

Finally, writing this recollection of his career for a national website, which is certainly a much bigger forum than the dollar scorecard I used to record seven strikeouts on that day 14 years ago.

Maybe you're out there, nodding your head along to these stories, changing some of the details to fit the story of your own life. Or maybe you're just a baseball fan who can look at Wood's career and agree that some of life's best-laid plans never come to pass and that your true score is reflected by what you do when things go wrong.

Either way is viable and they show why we invest our time and emotions in players that most of us will never meet. Kerry Wood could have been one of baseball's most famous flameout stories had he not chosen to battle through all of the misfortune that fell upon that gifted right arm of his.

Instead, by playing the hands he was dealt, he goes out as a great "what he was" tale.

"What he was" ended up being a pretty darn good pitcher.

And, yes, a great Chicago Cub.

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Cornejo, who was off-duty on Wednesday night, possessed a legal ticket for the Mets-Cincinnati Reds game but was not sitting in the assigned seat when ballpark security confronted him about 9:30 p.m., the New York Post reported. Just about any fan could tell you that many ballparks have a policy (official or otherwise) that relaxes restrictions on where you can sit later in a game when a stadium is half-empty (or so). That reportedly was the approximate condition of Citi when security realized Cornejo was out of place.

Now, before anyone gets his or her feathers ruffled over EVIL BALLPARK SECURITY being draconian with a regular guy (and a peace officer, at that), let's hear from Cornejo's superior. The New York Daily News actually quoted the city's police commissioner, Raymond Kelly, about what happened:

"He was in a section he wasn't supposed to be," Kelly said. "They asked him to leave. He wouldn't. [A] supervisor asked him to leave. He wouldn't. The uniformed police sergeant asked him to leave. He wouldn't, and he was arrested as a result."

Oh. So much for the proletariat. The Post also described Cornejo as "drunk." That detail hasn't been noted anywhere else that I saw, but it might help explain Cornejo's statement on what happened:

"I'm sorry but I have no comment," Cornejo said.

Oh, NOW he's polite!

Of course, many baseball fans feel it's within their rights — no, duty — to "move down" or "trade up" to better seats that have been and will be otherwise unoccupied. When ballpark ushers get all huffy about preventing fans from doing this, they make it seem like they're flight attendants pulling the curtain on coach to separate it from first class. Elitism! (One aspect none of the Cornejo stories have explained: How did security know Cornejo wasn't where he belonged? I have some profiling-related theories. Perhaps you do too.)

Yeah, there's the part about how fans in the better seats paid for those seats, but I have this utopian dream of equality and brotherhood and whatever and it starts at the ballpark. If they like, under the right conditions, fans from the nosebleeds should enjoy the privilege of moving to better seats because it harms no one. But it also only makes sense that, if security does ask you to move back, you comply. My utopian dream can stand only so much anarchy.

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Go the Distance: Atlanta Braves pitcher Brandon Beachy put Fredi Gonzalez in a little bit of a bind after throwing 110 pitches over eight scoreless innings on Thursday night. Should the Braves manager call it a night for the 25-year-old arm or should he let Beachy enter the ninth for a chance at the first complete game of his career?

Gonzalez ultimately decided on the latter and Beachy did not disappoint, needing only 12 more pitches to seal a 7-0 shutout victory over the Miami Marlins at Turner Field.

''Roger [McDowell, the pitching coach] and I were hanging on every pitch,'' Gonzalez said. ''You want the kid to be successful. You want him to have the complete game. You want him to have the shutout, but you want to keep him healthy.''

Beachy's scoreless scoresheet allowed him to drop his major-league best ERA from 1.60 to 1.33. The right-hander has won five straight decisions for the Braves and one would think that he's closing in on the first All-Star appearance of his career.

O, Mama!: Another morning, another opportunity to see the Baltimore Orioles atop the AL East standings. The early surprise team of 2012 moved to 25-14 with a 5-3 win over the Kansas City Royals at Kauffman Stadium. Adam Jones hit his 13th homer of the season as the O's turn toward a D.C.-Baltimore rarity — a relevant interleague series between the Orioles and Nationals. (Washington fell 5-3 to Pittsburgh on Thursday but sit in second place in the NL East with a 23-15 record.)

Tribe time: The Cleveland Indians pulled off not one, but two comebacks in a 6-5 victory over Seattle at Progressive Field. The final one came in the bottom of the 11th inning as Carlos Santana completed a two-run inning with a walk-off RBI single. The Indians are 22-16 and hold a four-game lead over the Detroit Tigers in the AL Central.

A Winner is Halladay: The Phillies bullpen almost blew it, but Roy Halladay picked up his first pitching win since April 16 in an 8-7 win over the Cubs at Wrigley Field. The good Doctor had lost three straight decisions — a career high! — but was helped out by Carlos Ruiz's 4-for-5, three-RBI night. Chris Volstad, meanwhile, might want to take notes about stopping streaks. The Cubs starter suffered another loss and hasn't earned a win in any of his last 19 starts.

* * *

Quote of the Day: ''I'm not going to look at the scoreboard now. You drive yourself crazy if you start looking at the scoreboard in the middle of May." — Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter after a 4-1 loss to the Blue Jays. New York currently occupies fourth place and are 4 1/2 games behind first-place Baltimore.

* * *

Photo of the Day: The Big Time

Rich Thompson, the Rays' 33-year-old rookie, finally got his first big-league start on Thursday. And while Tampa Bay fell 5-3 to the Red Sox, Thompson made the most of his opportunity, stealing two bases and becoming the oldest player in over 40 years to collect his first major-league hit.

* * *

Three Facts for the Water Cooler

• C.J. Wilson tied a career-high with six walks surrendered in the Angels' 6-1 loss to the White Sox.

• Aroldis Chapman finally allowed a run during the Reds' 9-4 loss to the Mets, but it was of the unearned variety. The reliever still sports a perfect 0.00 ERA after 20 1/3 innings.

• The Cardinals committed three errors in a game for the second time this week, falling 7-5 to the Giants.

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Atlanta Braves fans grumbled last season when one of their team's low moments was featured on the Kent Hrbek-Ron Gant bobblehead that was given away in Minnesota.

The good news, however, is that someone with the Braves must have been taking notes, because last year's best bobblehead has now given rise to the best one that will be handed out in 2012. The first 20,000 fans attending the June 9 game between the Braves and Toronto Blue Jays at Turner Field will receive this sweet recreation of Sid Bream sliding past Pittsburgh's Mike LaValliere to end Game 7 of the 1992 NLCS. The giveaway was announced a few months ago, but the Atlanta Braves' Twitter feed revealed the actual look on Thursday afternoon. There will also be a special pregame ceremony commemorating the slide.

Of course, with all this turnabout being fair play, we can't help but hope that next year's best bobble features Bill Mazeroski putting Mickey Mantle into a headlock.

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Yet that's exactly what Adrian Gonzalez is doing for Thursday night's game against the Tampa Bay Rays. After going 0 for 4 in Wednesday's 2-1 loss, the Boston Red Sox first baseman said that he'd be hitting a home run in the series finale.

"I'll start hitting home runs," Gonzalez told reporters. "I'll hit a home run tomorrow."

Time will reveal the accuracy of Gonzalez's predictive power. But he might want to up his slugging percentage soon, because he's been in a slump. Gonzalez has hit only two home runs all season — same as Albert Pujols! — and is currently experiencing a very Pujolsian drought at the plate. He hasn't hit a home run since April 17, a span that includes 103 at-bats and 26 games.

It's clear that Gonzalez doesn't look very comfortable, a fact that was confirmed when he went on a rant against bad umpiring from behind home plate.

Short version: He's with all of you who condoned Brett Lawrie's helmet toss.

Long version: Bad calls have altered his approach at the plate.

"When (the umpires are) good, you can be comfortable up there," Gonzalez said. "You know what the strike zone is. When they're not, you have to go up there and hack. It's frustrating. You wish you could keep (pitchers) on the plate and force them to come in, but that doesn't happen anymore."

It's not hard to sympathize with Gonzalez because a consistent strike zone is a rare thing to find in baseball these days. At the same time, the best hitters adapt to almost any situation and it wasn't that long ago that Gonzalez was near the top of the list of best hitters in the league. It's one thing to vent your frustration after a bad month, but quite another to let it continue to affect your play. Luckily for Red Sox fans, Gonzalez sounds like a man who wants to put an end to all those frustrations as soon as possible.

Maybe even Thursday night.

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And in keeping with the general theme of his career, the actions that led to the 33-year-old outfielder appearing in his first major-league game since 2004 were far from easy.  Thompson woke up as a member of the Philadelphia Phillies minor-league organization, was traded to the Rays just before lunchtime and arrived in Florida for a game against the Red Sox just before dinner. Known for his speed, he entered the contest in the eighth inning as a pinch-runner for designated hitter Luke Scott and then drew a balk from Red Sox reliever Franklin Morales. He was on third when Will Rhymes was hit with a pitch before fainting.

So was Thompson nervous before playing his role in the Rays' 2-1 victory?

"Surprisingly not," he told reporters after the game. "Everything kind of slows back when you get back on the field, but it's all the anticipation that makes you nervous. I might have been a little jumpy, kind of tipped my hand a little bit when I was trying to get my jump ... I did draw a lot of attention to myself, so I guess it ended up working out OK."

It'll work out even better if Thompson gets a few plate appearances while he serves as outfield depth on Tampa Bay's roster. He only has one career plate appearance to his name and that was when he grounded into a double play against the Indians on April 20, 2004, back when he was a member of the Royals. He made Kansas City's opening day roster that year and appeared in six games as a pinch runner and defensive replacement. But he was sent down on April 24, starting an eight-year run of perseverance and dedication that serves as a great example to just about anybody who strives toward anything.

The natural impulse is to compare Thompson's plight to that of Archibald "Moonlight" Graham, the member of the 1905 New York Giants who appeared in just one game and was later immortalized by Burt Lancaster in the movie "Field of Dreams."  That's not entirely accurate as Thompson still has one more plate appearance than Graham, who is one of only 37 players since 1901 to have appeared in one game without ever seeing the plate.

Thompson, meanwhile, is currently one of just 76 non-pitchers since 1901 to have only one career PA to his name. (He's also the only one to have used his only chance to ground into a double play.)

Still, the themes of fleeting glory and the eternal quest to recapture that feeling are present here. Thompson has played for 11 different minor-league teams in places ranging from Tucson to Syracuse, just so that he could one day get to the majors.

In a great piece of timing, Matt Gelb of the Philadelphia Inquirer wrote an excellent feature on Thompson's quest just last weekend, chronicling what keeps a guy chasing a dream all those years. For one, he makes a decent living as a veteran at the Triple-A level. For another, there was the dream of making it to the majors again — though the toll of eight years more or less required Thompson to install a self-defense system against the possibility of the ultimate disappointment.

Here's what Thompson said in Gelb's feature (which, again, was written before this week's unforeseen trade to Tampa Bay and spot on the team's 25-man roster):

"(Being called up) would give a lot of validation to my rationale," Thompson said. "It obviously doesn't look like it's that realistic. It would give me some affirmation. But if you were to tell me I won't make it to the big leagues again, it's not like I would just leave. That doesn't drive it at all. By no means is anything I do in the big leagues from this point on going to change my life financially. You get called up for a month, it would be nice. Maybe I could buy a new car."

Thompson earns approximately $13,000 a month in the minors. After taking online classes for the last few winters, he recently passed the certified public accountant exam. But he has not devised a post-baseball plan.

"Everyone says stuff all the time," said his wife, Teresa. "Why does he keep doing it? It's hard to say why, except that he really loves it. He's able to provide for us. It's a nice thing. Our kids love it."

Now the Thompson children will love seeing their dad on the big stage again. There's no telling how long he'll occupy the roster spot that was created by injuries to Desmond Jennings, Sam Fuld and Brandon Guyer. But it would seem that he has at least a week, maybe more. Given manager Joe Maddon's reputation, I wouldn't be surprised to see Thompson not only get a few more plate appearances, but also maybe his first big-league start.

At least I hope it works out that way for Thompson. He's certainly earned it.

UPDATE: The starting lineup for tonight's game against the Red Sox is out. Rich Thompson is batting ninth and playing left field.

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Here's a picture of Gary Sinise from Rangers Ballpark on Wednesday night. From the looks of it, the "CSI: NY" star just finished a 12-week run as Hamlet, kicked a field goal across the street to Cowboys Stadium or delivered the greatest first pitch in the history of baseball.

In reality, Sinise is thrusting his arms skyward in the type of self-deprecating mock celebration that's only possible when you throw out one of the worst first pitches in baseball history. You know, the kind that immediately hits the ground and dribbles off to a dugout, making it look like you've never seen a baseball game, let alone stepped on the mound.

[Rewind: Bear Grylls lights baseball on fire to throw out first pitch]

Check Sinise's pitch out in the video below:

_

Yep, as Timothy Burke of Deadspin quipped, Lt. Dan apparently has no right arm either.

While it may not have been as bad as the one we saw from Cincinnati's mayor a few years back, Sinise's unintentional sinker has to rank up there on list of bad first pitches. And I have to say that it's a little bit disappointing, given that he grew up in the Chicago area and cut his acting chops at the city's famous Steppenwolf Theatre. You'd think he would have found time to play a little 16-inch softball, or at least a little catch, in Lincoln Park between shows.

Then again, Sinise is on the list of noted Cubs fans. Which perhaps explains everything.

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Imagine: An entire stadium of over-sized, photocopied Yu Darvish heads on cardboard, with each individual image propped up on picture-frame stands and placed on every seat inside Rangers Ballpark. Just before the first pitch, the artist Cristo lines the stadium with a pink skirt and photographs all of it while rappelling from the Goodyear blimp. That's the natural progression, or where we ought to be headed at least, after this lone fan appeared with a giant Darvish head for Darvish's start for the Texas Rangers on Wednesday night.

Possibly inspired by seeing his own BigHead (TM) in the crowd, Darvish allowed four hits and struck out seven in a 4-1 victory against the Oakland Athletics. He lowered his ERA to 2.60. Earning his keep, he is. In the following quote, Darvish pretended he was not in awe of the BigHead:

''No matter what the situation, I try to throw as many inning as I can and go as long as possible,'' Darvish said.*

*Darvish was not actually asked about the BigHead.

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The Juice is back for its fifth season of fun! Stop by each weekday for an ample serving of news from the action, plus great photos, stats and video highlights.

Was that Bigfoot or Sasquatch?: Oh, neither. Just the second home run of the season for Albert Pujols, who went deep for the Los Angeles Angels in a 7-2 victory against the White Sox on Wednesday night. Some were beginning to wonder how many homers he had left in his bat after a drought of 33 games and 139 at-bats to start the season. Now he's got two deeps, giving him 447 for his career so far, on his way to 500-plus. You know, Albert.

"It's been awhile,'' Pujols said. ''There are some times I feel good at the plate and hit the ball hard but don't catch any breaks. But you can't lose your focus. Every at-bat, no matter how I feel, I try to take it as the last at-bat of my career. Hey, listen - this game is not easy. I've been saying that all year long. There are things that are out of your control.''

Jim Eppard fixes everything: The Angels have knocked out 24 hits in their past two games with the memory of fired coach Mickey Hatcher still on their minds. New hitting coach Jim Eppard tutored many of the Angels in the minor leagues, so at least he's coming in with an idea of how to help.

''What's great about it is that a lot of the guys here I've had come through Salt Lake, so I have a mental tape of those guys."

O's so good: The Baltimore Orioles are 24-14 after Adam Jones hit a tie-breaking home run in the 15th inning to carry them to a 4-3 victory at Kansas City. Jones' 12th homer of the season came after he started the game 0 for 6.

''Some people were behind me, yelling at me, 'Hey, come on Jones.' I showed them. After I hit that, they shut up the heck up.''

Said.

Up goes Frazier: Todd Frazier attended Rutgers in New Jersey, so hitting two home runs to help the Cincinnati Reds beat the Mets 6-3 at Citi Field must have felt pretty special. It was a lot better feeling than when he struck out in his first two at-bats, for sure.

''A lot of friends and family, you know, they've been following ever since I was playing when I was 12 in that Little League World Series, so it doesn't bother me as much,'' Frazier said. ''It's actually fun, you know. Striking out those first two at-bats didn't really help, but this game's about adjustments and that's what you got to do from pitch to pitch and at-bat to at-bat. It was a special time tonight for sure.''

Not sure about him wearing Paul O'Neill's number, though.

Quote of the Day: "He has been as advertised." — Rangers manager Ron Washington on Yu Darvish, after Texas beat the A's 4-1. Darvish struck out seven, allowing a run and four hits over 7 2/3 innings.

* * *

Photo of the Day: And the deal is sealed.

Mr. Met (center) congratulates the mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg, with a high-five to celebrate the announcement of Citi Field hosting the All-Star game next season. New York Mets owner Fred Wilpon looks like Ed McMahon here. Yessir.

* * *

Three Facts for the Water Cooler:

• Mike Leake of the Reds had two hits, giving him 31 since the start of the 2010 season. STATS, LLC reports that only Yovani Gallardo of Milwaukee, with 32, has more among pitchers in that span.

• The Detroit Tigers made four errors in falling 11-7 at Minnesota, and have gone 9-16 since starting the season 9-3.

• The New York Yankees lost 8-1 to Kyle Drabek and the Blue Jays at Toronto. New York fell to 0-8 when not hitting a home run, and are the only team remaining to not win a game in which they did not homer.

* * *

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It's still off-putting, though:

Whoa! Answer Man down, Answer Man down! There's no fainting in baseball! It's funny, now, that when trainers asked Rhymes to tell them his name, he said, "I'm Batman." Here's a guy with a sharp mind on his shoulders.

But in the moments after Rhymes' legs fell limp and he collapsed into the embrace of coach George Hendrick, speculation on Twitter abounded. He was hit on the arm, not on the head or thorax — so what happened? Did the major bruise cause a circulatory problem? Had he broken a bone and gone into shock? What gives, (other than his legs)?

[Related: PNC Park security guard loses finger in struggle with fan during Pirates game]

Well, Dr. skipper Joe Maddon had a diagnosis after Tampa Bay's 2-1 win over Boston: Adrenaline rush. When the juices get flowing, it can work against you too, apparently.

''He got kind of rubber-legged right there,'' Maddon said. ''That stuff hurts. I know it's in the arm, but that can definitely take your breath away. It was described to me as kind of an adrenalin rush that caused that reaction.''

X-rays were negative and the team said Rhymes is day to day with a bruised right forearm.

Phew. Rhymes had put a scare into everyone, especially Boston pitcher Franklin Morales, who threw the pitch. Here's Morales, via the Twitter of Brian MacPherson of the Providence Journal:

"That scared me. ... I feel bad for him. I'm going to call him and talk to him. I want to know he's fine."

Now, just tell us that you'll never faint again, Rhymes:

"I got to first and started getting real dizzy, nauseous. That's when I started walking off. And then, apparently, I didn't get real far."

He's laughing about it. Good for Rhymes. In our society, perhaps in any society, it's supposed to be embarrassing when men faint. No crying, no fainting. Not allowed. Perhaps the example Rhymes is setting will allow oppressed male fainters across the world to rise up (with some assistance from their first base coach) and say, "Yes, I fainted. What about it?"

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Because he is 49 years old, nearly everything that Jamie Moyer does for the Colorado Rockies on a Major League Baseball field seems newsworthy. But any pitcher who manages to drive in two runs with an infield single more than deserves the special attention coming his way.

Moyer legged out a perfectly placed (even if by happenstance) 80-foot hit Wednesday night, evading a diving Paul Goldschmidt of Arizona on his way to first base and benefiting from the head's-up and legs-moving baserunning of Dexter Fowler for his first two RBIs of the season. Moyer also pitched great at Coors Field, allowing a run and six hits over 6 1/3 innings to lead the Rockies to a 6-1 victory.

Take a bow, old dude. And a breath. Take two, even.

It's hard to tell from the video clip because the Rockies TV broadcast paid too much attention to the blond lady in the stands (who I assume is Moyer's wife), but Moyer appeared to get the benefit of the doubt by the umpires on Goldschmidt's tag attempt. And he was lucky his hit dribbled into no-man's land between Goldschmidt and pitcher Patrick Corbin, who hesitated just a bit in committing to covering the bag at the moment of truth. And that Fowler was running hard with two outs (which he should do, but you never know) and was fast enough to make it home. It was actually quite an accidental conspiracy that the play turned out as it did.

After working the count to 2-2, Moyer squirted the ball off the end of his bat.

''I thought it was going to roll foul,'' Moyer said. ''And I feel like I hesitated just a little bit, and then ... as I was running down the line, I saw the pitcher stop and the first baseman, I think he picked it up and he was going to throw it to the pitcher and then he realized the pitcher wasn't (covering the bag).

''So, then it became, I guess, a slow crawl to first base.''

Moyer said he didn't feel Goldschmidt tag him, though slow replays (get it — slow?) reveal that he got brushed with Goldschmidt's mitt before he stepped on first base. But getting the benefit of the doubt happens when everybody hustles.

Fowler said Moyer's the one who should be commended.

''I was more shocked that Moyer beat it out,'' Fowler said. ''The guy was hustling. He was hustling, himself. ... He's a bulldog. The guy never quits.''

Considering that he's been playing in the majors since 1986, quitting is literally the last thing anyone should expect from Moyer. Will he ever?

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I remember attending the 2008 All-Star game at old Yankee Stadium and hearing everyone talk with absolute certainty that we'd be returning in New York in five years for the Midsummer Classic at Citi Field. Well, it only took about four years, but that take-it-to-the-bank assumption was finally made official on Wednesday with Major League Baseball sending out its save the dates with an afternoon press conference.

It's kind of hard to believe, but this will mark only the second time that the Mets have served as hosts for the event. The first time came in 1964 during the inaugural season of Shea Stadium and it featured a memorable ending as Philadelphia's Johnny Callison hit a three-run walk-off homer off Boston's Dick Radatz to cap a four-run bottom of the ninth for the National League in a 7-4 win.

I've embedded a cool highlight reel from that game below and you'll notice that it was played during the day. Hoping for a day All-Star game is a pipe dream in today's television culture — the last afternoon start occurred in 1969 — but it would still be kind of cool to see the novelty of the stars playing under the sun.  Wouldn't it?

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Lawrie plans to appeal the suspension and will be in the lineup for Wednesday night's game against the Yankees.

As you've probably seen by now, the 22-year-old Blue Jays third baseman put on a memorable tantrum after two bad strike calls by Miller, eventually throwing a helmet that bounced off the ground near home plate and into Miller's hip.

[Related: Nationals pitcher Stephen Strasburg has bad experience with 'Hot Stuff' ointment]

Just how long Lawrie deserved to be suspended was the subject of a hot debate for much of Wednesday. On one end of the extremes was our own Dave Brown, who called for a 10-game break for the hotheaded sophomore infielder. On the other were the Labatt-chugging Blue Jay fan boys, who somehow thought Miller's awful calls provided a way to condone Lawrie's actions. (If you think I'm inventing a strawman here, I have a full email box to show you.)

The actual suspension landed almost in the middle and was far from severe, a fact that started to become apparent when Torre told Danny Knobler of CBS Sports that he didn't believe that Lawrie had intentionally hit Miller with his helmet. "The decision could have been better as [far] as the direction, but I don't believe he was trying to hit him," Torre told Knobler.   

Truth be told, four games is probably just about right for Lawrie and that's a judgment I make by completely divorcing his actions from Miller's egregious calls. The punishment is long enough for Lawrie to sit down and think about what he did. I'll also argue that any sentence handed down by Torre pales in comparison to the damage that Lawrie did to his character. For many sports fans, the first time they'd ever heard of the blossoming star was when they logged onto yahoo.com Wednesday morning and saw Lawrie completely melting down.

Put it this way: When people are now making the joke that Lawrie could learn a thing or two about growing up from Bryce Harper — everyone's previous favorite whipping boy — you can see him being cast into a mold that will be hard to escape.

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The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reports that a PNC Park security supervisor lost a finger and a police officer injured his shoulder Saturday trying to subdue three raging fans, including a 21-year-old woman. Rachel George and her 50-year-old father, Christopher George, face charges that include aggravated assault, conspiracy, harassment, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness. A criminal complaint filed by Detective Frank Rende states that "tensions flared" after Ms. George was taken to the security office because she was smoking at her seat.

As Pirates security supervisor Joseph Risher was escorting her out of the right field gate, Ms. George's unidentified boyfriend assaulted him and ran off. Ms. George jumped on the guard's back and started to pull him backward, the complaint says.

Her father joined in the attack, pushing him up against a fence.

"While defending himself, Mr. Risher got his left hand caught on the fence, and when he was pulled by both (defendants) his left middle finger was ripped off at the second knuckle and was hanging by a piece of skin," Detective Rende wrote in the complaint.

Mr. Risher, he added, was screaming in pain.

Ow, ow, ow. But the fight wasn't over.

Sergeant Sean Duffy later injured his shoulder and was sent to a hospital for treatment after Ms. George kicked him, it is alleged, and he responded with a palm strike. All of this is alleged, of course. We don't have the Georges' side of the story — whatever that might be — only the word of some injured public servants. But let's go on the assumption that the substance of what is alleged is true. Why do these people have to come to baseball games? They're angry, they probably can't hold their alcohol and that's the worst possible combination in a fan. The security guard, Mr. Risher, isn't going to have a fully functioning hand as a result. And the Georges might be looking at jail time. They should be, anyway. For what? A cigarette? An aversion to authority? Fans like this ruin reputations for entire groups. Sometimes, they do worse. It's not a new concept, but society obviously needs to be reminded.

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The Los Angeles Dodgers and Arizona Diamondbacks just split a two-game set, which means the boys in blue still hold a big 8 1/2-game lead over the defending NL West champions. Considering that margin, D-backs manager Kirk Gibson probably didn't have much in the way of the comeback department in his conversation with Orel Hershiser and Tommy Lasorda on Tuesday night.

As an aside, seeing this picture just reminded me that next year will mark the 25th anniversary of the Dodgers' title team. Time really isn't messing around any more, is it?

So have at it, amateur Internet copy editors of the world. How should this caption read?

Follow the jump for winners from the last C-a-C featuring Elvis Andrus and a suspicious sneaker:

Hey Elvis! Sign my shoe?

1st — Al. "Hey Elvis, Can you make this out to RUN DMC?"

2nd — StLFan. "Seriously, dude? Elvis signs only blue suede shoes."

3rd — Combat! "Just write on the Odor-Eater, NOT the shoe."

HM — LetsGoTwins. "I forgot my pen, can you sign my ball with this shoe instead?"

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What I am saying is that the Texas Rangers are 0-2 since this fan turned the stands of Rangers Ballpark into an episode of the "Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour."

_

By the way, this isn't the first time that Ron Washington has been portrayed in puppet form. During the last World Series, a woman showed up with dueling Wash and Tony La Russa puppets.

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Here's the video of the catch. It's a little hard to see, but you can hear Marlins team president David Samson doing a little play-by-play as it unfolds. And there's no way he'd ever intentionally deceive us.

Right?

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Terry Collins, however, was not willing to put his best player in that position. With the possibility of retaliation hanging in the air after Ryan Braun was hit by a D.J. Carrasco pitch in the top half of the inning — a plunking that came directly after a Rickie Weeks homer and resulted in Carrasco's ejection — Collins made the decision to lift Wright from the game.

"(Wright) said, 'If somebody should be hit, I want it to be me,''' Collins told reporters after the game. ''I said it's not going to be you.''

As you can see in this video, Collins and Wright had a pretty good go at it when their two viewpoints were revealed:

But things soon settled down in the Mets universe with Collins apparently getting his point across and Wright telling the media that he's "loved playing for [Collins], the short amount of time we've had together."  So all's well that ends well?

Not quite.

Across the diamond, Brewers manager Ron Roenicke was not only miffed over Wright leaving the game, but Daniel Murphy being replaced with a pinch hitter a few batters later.

''It was interesting what that shows,'' Brewers manager Ron Roenicke said.

Braun, though, was already moving on from the drama by the end of the game.

''I respect the fact that he wanted to stay in the game,'' Braun said. ''I don't fault them for making that decision at all.''

Where this leaves all of us, I honestly have no idea. The politics of beanball wars are so ever-shifting and predicated on so many ridiculous premises that it almost seems a fool's errand to apply any logic when discussing it after the fact. Throw in motives that are rarely admitted to — Cole Hamels is the exception and not the rule — and it becomes near impossible to be confident in any judgment you level.

[Related: Phillies' Cole Hamels admits he intentionally plunked Bryce Harper]

In a way, Collins and Wright's argument could be a microcosm for any back-and-forth beanball battle you've ever seen. You know, a lot of fierce yelling followed by some more reasonable talk and then ended by everyone acting as if nothing had happened at all.

Nothing to see here, everyone move along.

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The Juice is back for its fifth season of fun! Stop by each weekday for an ample serving of news from the action, plus great photos, stats and video highlights.

Hit the bricks: The Los Angeles Angels made batting coach Mickey Hatcher the scapegoat for one of the worst offenses in the major leagues by firing him Tuesday night. The team announced the switch to minor-league coach Jim Eppard about 90 minutes after a 4-0 victory against the Athletics. In a near-irony, Los Angeles produced 12 hits, including three from Albert Pujols for the first time in a month, in Hatcher's final game as coach after 12-plus seasons. Though comments about Pujols being behind the change might sound funny and even plausible given the disagreement he had with Hatcher earlier in the season, the change comes from owner Arte Moreno and GM Jerry Dipoto. Sometimes, the boss said, change is necessary when a team is next-to-last in runs scored in the AL:

"Sometimes in the sports world a point is reached where perhaps a new voice is needed in order to attain the desired goals and objectives," Dipoto said in a statement. "Unfortunately we feel this is one of those times. Offensively we have underachieved and everyone shares in the responsibility of what has transpired thus far."

Hatcher just gets a bigger share than everyone else.

Upstream: Rookie outfielder Mike Trout hit his third homer (see above video) and had his sixth multi-hit game of the season. So he obviously wasn't tainted by Hatcher's influence. Neither was slugger Mark Trumbo, who spoke respectfully of his former instructor on Twitter. In the pitching universe, the Angels got nine strikeouts from Ervin Santana, who must have keeled over at all of that run support.

It was the Mariners, but...: Josh Beckett says "Take that," you fried-chicken-and-beer, golfing-lat-muscle, and blister-obsessed media! No, he didn't really say that. But he pitched with authority against the Mariners, striking out nine and scattering five hits over seven innings in a 5-0 victory for the Boston Red Sox. Much better than the previous outing.

His name is Wei-Yin Chen: Baltimore's rookie left-hander from Taiwan pitched seven innings of of four-hit ball against the New York Yankees, lowering his ERA to 2.45 and leading the Orioles to a 5-2 victory. This was Chen's second outing against the Yankees — and thank goodness for that, he said:

''The first time, the debut I was so nervous,'' Chen said through [a translator]. ''This time, I was just like I've had this experience already so everything was fine to me.''

Somewhere, 1989 Randy Milligan is smiling at the Orioles 23-14 record.

* * *

Quote of the Day: ''There's going to be some loud music playing in the clubhouse, and there's going to be some crazy stuff on the plane, too." — Cardinals manager Mike Matheny, throwing TSA caution to the wind after his team pulled out a 7-6 victory against the Cubs and snapped a four-game losing streak.

* * *

Photo of the Day: Hey, what does this remind you of?

Perhaps this:

Only this time, the Orioles came out ahead. So the whole Jeffrey Maier thing is even, right?

* * *

Three Facts for the Water Cooler:

• The Kansas City Royals hadn't swept the Rangers in a two-game series since 1977 — we're talking the good old days — but they got it done Tuesday with a 7-4 victory at Arlington.

• Cleveland's Derek Lowe threw a six-hitter in a 5-0 victory against the Twins, the first time a pitcher shut out an opponent without recording a strikeout since Baltimore's Scott Erickson blanked the Royals 10 seasons ago.

• The Arizona Diamondbacks opened the fifth inning with six consecutive singles, including run-scoring hits by Justin Upton, Miguel Montero and Jason Kubel, and cruised to a 5-1 victory against the Dodgers.

* * *

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Toronto Blue Jays slugger Brett Lawrie apologized later for his tantrum, and he seemed to mean it, but video of him slamming his batting helmet to the ground and it hitting umpire Bill Miller in the right hip is incriminating. Lawrie deserves a long suspension, and one is likely.

Adding to the miserable ending of Miller's night, a disgruntled fan in the stands at Rogers Centre tossed a mostly full cup of beer and hit Miller in the right shoulder (video swiped by Deadspin) as he walked off the field. No matter how poorly Miller might have called the final two pitches of Lawrie's at-bat — strike two appeared to catch even less of the zone than strike three — he doesn't deserve either reaction.

[Related: Astros' Carlos Lee shaken up after collision with umpire]

Umpires don't need the league to protect them from their own poor performance, but they do need protection from players and fans (or anyone) who flies off the handle. Miller seemed remarkably measured in his postgame comments:

''Upon seeing that he was ejected, he took several steps toward me and fired his helmet. It hit me in the right hip,'' Miller said.

''That's a bit extreme,'' Miller said.

It was, though Lawrie had stopped going berserk by the time reporters reached him:

"That was not my intention at all,'' Lawrie said. ''I've never, ever done anything to go at an umpire before in my life, and I didn't mean to tonight. I apologize for that.

''It's just my passion for the game,'' he said. ''I wanted to help my teammates out as best I could. That's the pride I have in this game. I leave my emotions out on the field.''

Getting thrown out of a one-run game (Toronto lost to the Rays 4-3) and incurring a suspension from the league helps the Blue Jays, how, exactly? And since when is it cool to lose your cool? Lawrie sure didn't make it look like an accident when he stepped toward the umpire and threw down his helmet. Lawrie completely obliterated his own point — getting balls and strikes called correctly — by throwing a fit (and some equipment).

Blue Jays manager John Farrell, who also got ejected after going out to restrain Lawrie and to argue with Miller's calls, took more umbrage with the umpiring than his 22-year-old losing control.

''The bat was taken completely out of Brett's hands, not only the 3-1 pitch but the 3-2 pitch as well,'' Farrell said. ''Those are not strikes.''

That's the best lesson we can take from the game, eh? That when things don't go your way, just mindlessly rage against the machine. By that logic, Lawrie should share some of the blame for inciting the fan to throw the beer at the ump. (And maybe he should.)

[Related: Mets' David Wright goes at it with manager Terry Collins]

At least by apologizing immediately, Lawrie should lessen the penalty that's coming. What will the MLB disciplinarian (Joe Torre) give him? Yadier Molina got five games for his spitting tirade at Rob Drake a season ago. Back in 2000, MLB suspended Carl Everett for 10 games for a head-butting quarrel with Ron Kulpa. When he was in the minor leagues, Delmon Young got 50 games for throwing his bat at an umpire. That was unquestionably intentional.

Lawrie should get at least 10 games.

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Umpires (usually) are an extension of the playing field in Major League Baseball. If a ball hits an ump in fair territory, the fielder must be ready to play the ball as if it hit a pebble on the ground, or the second base bag. Reaction time is key. In that vein, if a fielder stumbles during a play and — say — runs into an umpire, he runs the risk of getting elbowed in the face if he's not careful.

That's what happened to Carlos Lee of the Houston Astros after he tried to play a sharp grounder hit by Jimmy Rollins of the Phillies in the first inning Tuesday afternoon. After the ball went off his mitt, Lee's stumbling momentum carried him into first base umpire Hunter Wendelstedt, who tried to brace for impact but was sent tumbling on his backside anyway. But not before he accidentally (it's assumed) stuck an elbow in Lee's left eye.

You see what happens? An elbow for an eye and Carlos Lee goes half-blind. But after trainers checked him out, Lee was back at his position for most of Philly's 4-3 victory in 10 innings. And to his credit, Wendelstedt was back on his feet practically in one motion before he went to check on Lee's condition. Rollins' hit was scored a double.

Lee was a third baseman in the minors with the White Sox in the latter part of the 20th century, so you can see where his ... agility comes from.

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