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Dirty Tackle

If it continued… (Man City v Man United)

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

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Samir Nasri, about to do something stupid. (Getty)

The first Manchester derby of the season ended with an entertaining flourish that devolved into savagery and resulted in Rio Ferdinand bleeding from the eyebrow. Man City snapped out of a funk to come back from two early Wayne Rooney goals and equalize in the 86th minute, but Samir Nasri decided to stick his leg in the path of a Robin van Persie free kick during stoppage time, leading to a 3-2 win for Man United that incited a pitch invading, coin throwing rage in fans at the Etihad. With an ending like that, we almost have to ask..."What if it continued?"

97' -- Wayne Rooney realizes that he's had a brace in each of the three Premier League matches he's scored in this season. This makes him wonder if the number two now has mystical power for him and if getting a second hair transplant will give him x-ray vision.

99' -- Samir Nasri tries to hide behind a linesman when the ball is passed to him.

101' -- Joe Hart's only save of the match is still when he kept the pitch invader from getting to Rio Ferdinand.

106' -- Danny Welbeck scores. Rio Ferdinand celebrates by wearing panda fur trousers to PETA meeting.

108' -- Gareth Barry suddenly remembers that he exists. He isn't sure how to feel about this.

114' -- By Alex Ferguson's count, City have had 64 penalties so far in this match. He petitions the House of Commons to make an inquiry by chewing his gum even harder than usual.

119' -- The Man City coaching staff tell Mario Balotelli that he would probably play better if he didn't do so with his new baby daughter in his shirt next time.

123' -- The home fans continue throwing coins at the pitch in the hopes that Falcao comes to collect them.

128' -- Kolo Toure tries to sell Ashley Young a used car.

135' -- The match is abandoned when Arsene Wenger invades the pitch, shouting to the heavens that he now sees how he helped Man United more by selling Samir Nasri to City than selling Robin van Persie to Man United. He asks fans the fans to publicly flog him, but everyone just slowly backs out of the stadium as Ferguson laughs and Nasri tries to duck a stationary football.

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