Dirty TackleConspiracy Theory: The Premier League is plotting a permanent move to the U.S.
With the success of NFL and NBA teams playing regular season games in London, Premier League clubs have reportedly renewed their interest in playing competitive matches abroad themselves. The idea of adding an extra round of fixtures to the Premier League season that would all be played overseas — dubbed the 39th game — was originally scrapped in 2008 amidst widespread dissent. Though elongating the season remains a non-starter, the word now is that the league is still considering the possibility of going a step further than the NFL and NBA by playing an entire round of fixtures in the existing 38-round structure abroad. This would result in 10 clubs losing a home match each season.
Clearly the only reason to go to such lengths is to establish roots for the eventual relocation of the entire Premier League to the United States.
The appeal of the U.S. to the Premier League has been increasingly obvious in recent years. Preseason tours of the States have become big business and with NBC's current broadcast deal, every single Premier League match is more readily available for U.S. viewers than those in England. Manchester United's friendly against Real Madrid last summer drew 109,318 fans — a new record for a soccer match in the U.S. — and, despite airing early in the morning stateside, Premier League matches draw better TV ratings than MLS matches in primetime slots.
The Premier League has grown to be the world's most watched football league even with the handicap of being based in the U.K., with its population of just 64 million and where the game's popularity has essentially maxed out. Only three professional sports leagues in the world rake in more revenue than the Premier League — the NFL, Major League Baseball, and the NBA. All of which are based in the United States, with its population of about 320 million people, larger stadiums and rapidly growing interest in soccer in general and the Premier League in particular.
Long-time MLS executive Tim Leiweke has expressed his own fears that the Premier League is preparing for a hostile invasion of the U.S. From ITV:
Leiweke, speaking at Leaders in Sport at Chelsea's Stamford Bridge home, said: "Is that good or bad for MLS? Is that a pioneer vision or a pirate move? Therein lies the debate.
"North Americans are spoilt, they have the best basketball players in the world, the best hockey players, the best baseball players and the best NFL players.
"We do not have the best soccer players in the world."
"Are those competitors our partners or do they see that North American landscape and want to take money out of that landscape? Therein lies the challenge for Major League Soccer."
Assuming that the Premier League does rumble MLS out of its own territory in the never-ending pursuit for more and more money, it will provide a previously unthinkable opportunity for the displaced league. Yes, MLS could then move to England and fill the gaps left by the departed clubs. And judging by the hidden message in MLS's new logo they have secretly prepared for this inevitability.
When it was first released, it was widely assumed that the upward slash included in the new logo was a random and nonsensical inclusion. But now it is plainly obvious that it was meant it symbolize the league's impending move north east to the U.K.
Once the initial shock of an unprecedented domestic league swap wears off, supporters in both countries will soon realize that it solves everyone's problems. American fans often complain that the MLS salary cap is too restrictive, while English fans have asserted that money has been ruining the game since the Premier League's inception. So with MLS moving to England and the Premier League moving to the U.S., everyone gets what they claim to want.
A major factor in the Premier League's global popularity is the big name players it attracts from all over the world. And one of the main draws for those players is the chance to play in the UEFA Champions League. The league moving to a different continent would, of course, end that, but once the Premier League and MLS make their moves, it will likely set off a chain reaction. La Liga clubs could then move to Mexico while Bundesliga and Serie A clubs could divide up Canada and Central America. And suddenly, the CONCACAF Champions League would have all the appeal that the UEFA Champions League currently has.
Another key factor in the Premier League's appeal is the atmosphere in its stadiums — a point of pride for local fans and a large part of their doomed argument as to why clubs should respect and appreciate them more. Since soccer/football fan culture in the U.S. is still relatively young, it would need time to develop. Time that the Premier League wouldn't have. Fans of the Boston Liverpools in Thailand will not settle for hearing an inferior rendition of "You'll Never Walk Alone" before matches at Dunkin' Donuts New Anfield. So clubs will have to invest in cutting-edge sound systems that pipe in computer generated songs, situation-specific chants, and creative swearing, building on what's already been done for the FIFA 15 video game.
With time, this drastic change will become normal and the initial protests and anger will dissipate as betrayed supporters finally accept that these money spinning organizations couldn't care less about them or their history. These fans will go on to lead far more fulfilling lives and will be thankful that they had the Band-Aid ripped off instead of slowly peeled away, thus prolonging the pain. And though the Denver Hull Tigers would be glad to have your support, they're really just concerned with winning over a legion of 12-year-olds who will live to spend longer and won't have the pesky nostalgia of their older counterparts.
All of this might seem upsetting now, but the good news is that it will be much easier to handle once China's economy surpasses America's and every major sports league moves there.
Previous Conspiracy Theories: How the 2014 World Cup groups were really chosen and Howard Webb and his army of referees are trying to destroy football
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is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter! Follow @BrooksDT
