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Trey Kerby

'Cat boarding' and 'chill time' – what's Greg Bretz talking about?

Fourth-Place Medal

Twitter can be a valuable news source. For instance, I just found out that Team USA snowboarders Louie Vito, Greg Bretz, and Elena Hight went to Monday's United States women's hockey game. However, Twitter can also be confusing, even in the hands of these very same snowboarders.

Let's take a look at one of Greg Bretz's recent Tweets and try to figure out just what he's saying.

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This is nearly unintelligible when put together, but if we break it apart, we can unlock its mysteries. The first key is deciding where to separate the clauses. Let's give it a shot.

"Had such a sick day...": Contrary to popular belief, this doesn't mean Bretz called in ill to work. It actually means "awesome." Greg Bretz had an awesome day.

" boarding...": This isn't a form of feline torture. It's snowboarding behind a snowmobile, obviously.

" pow...": "Pow" is short for powder, which is the fluffiest snow, which is clearly the best when behind a snowmobile.

...and now its chill time...": Basically, Greg Bretz needs to relax after such an exciting day. He needs to put his mind at ease as snowboarding behind a snowmobile is quite stressful.

...maybe grab a massage and a haircut": Surprisingly, this means exactly what it says. Probably.

So, with that in mind, we can determine this tweet to mean, "I had a lot fun snowboarding behind a snowmobile. Fresh powder is the best. Now I need to relax and possibly get a massage and get my hair trimmed."

Thanks for helping us stay young, Greg.

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